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Friends Lovers Soul Mates: Loving Ourselves and Each Other

Overview

Are you looking for a special companion? Frustrated because you can't seem to communicate with the person you are with? Frightened by the shortage of Black men? Eager to find a woman who will accept you, blemishes and all? Tired of rehashing the same battles, night after night and year after year? Determined to meet someone whose vision matches yours? If so, Friends, Lovers, and Soul Mates is for you! Drs. Derek S. Hopson and Darlene Powell Hopson, who have been married for eight years, offer professional ...
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Overview

Are you looking for a special companion? Frustrated because you can't seem to communicate with the person you are with? Frightened by the shortage of Black men? Eager to find a woman who will accept you, blemishes and all? Tired of rehashing the same battles, night after night and year after year? Determined to meet someone whose vision matches yours? If so, Friends, Lovers, and Soul Mates is for you! Drs. Derek S. Hopson and Darlene Powell Hopson, who have been married for eight years, offer professional insights into the influences from your past, and sage advice about dealing with such sensitive subjects as money, family, sex, religion, and ethnic identity, to introduce a new and healthy way to approach intimacy. Friends, Lovers, and Soul Mates is more than a book for Black men and women. It is a guide you can use at any stage of life whether you want to figure out why you don't currently have a relationship or to enhance your existing relationship. With self-assessments, dozens of case studies, and an appendix of organizations that provide help or referrals for troubled couples, Friends, Lovers, and Soul Mates is the only book of its kind written by a couple who not only practice couple therapy but bring their own personal and nonjudgmental approach to healing the crisis of intimacy in the Black community. There is no magic wand to create the nourishing bonds we so desperately need to preserve in the Black community, but with hard work and the guidance that you can find in this book, a healthy, nurturing, and loving relationship can be yours.
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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
Drawing on their own eight-year marriage, the psychotherapist authors offer what they claim is the first self-help guide to African American relationships, complete with skill-building exercises. With candor and insight, they discuss the fear of intimacy that can plague black men and women, aggravated by problems of ethnic--and, for women, gender--identity. The Hopsons discuss the qualities that African Americans purportedly seek in an ideal mate, but they caution that developing a sense of one's own identity and self-esteem are the first steps in finding that person. An Afrocentric view of the world with its pride in black culture can serve as a source of inspiration, racial identity and empowerment, stress the authors. They also cite communication as the key to dealing successfully in a relationship with issues like money, family, infidelity and spirituality. (Apr.)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780671768379
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster Adult Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 3/3/1994
  • Pages: 238

Table of Contents

Introduction 11
Pt. I Setting the Stage for Love
1 What is a Soul Mate? 17
2 Heritage: Africa and the American Experience 33
Pt. II Looking Inward
3 Learning to Love Ourselves 61
4 The Patterns of Our Relationships 79
Pt. III The Tools for Making It Work
5 Twelve Lessons for Developing Intimacy 103
6 The Art of Communication: Learning to Talk, Learning to Listen 123
Pt. IV Confronting the Tough Issues
7 The Enigma of Sex, the Risk of Infidelity 151
8 Frank Talk About Work, Money, and Power 169
9 Dealing with Race 185
10 Family, Friends, and Spirituality 201
Afterword: Empowering the Black Community 217
The Art of Becoming Soul Mates 220
Appendix 223
Notes 225
Index 227
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