Friendshifts

( 7 )

Overview

A comprehensive study of friendship including children and friendship, marriage and friendship, how friendships are initiated and maintained; thebest predictor of longevity in friendship; how the friendship principles that Dr. Yager learned could be applied to oter relationships; index; linedrawings; charts and self-quizzes.
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Overview

A comprehensive study of friendship including children and friendship, marriage and friendship, how friendships are initiated and maintained; thebest predictor of longevity in friendship; how the friendship principles that Dr. Yager learned could be applied to oter relationships; index; linedrawings; charts and self-quizzes.
Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
"Friendshifts" is the word that sociologist Yager (Business Protocol: How To Survive & Succeed in Business, LJ 6/15/91) invented to explain how friendships change throughout life. Drawing on her own research, Yager discusses how friendships develop and how changes such as relocation, marriage, or a new job often provoke changes in relationships. Yager sees making friends as a skill that can be learned, but she cautions that each friendship is unique, with its own rules and privileges. Arguing that shared values are more important in predicting the longevity of a friendship than shared interests, Yager gives practical advice on how to nurture new friendships, maintain old friendships, salvage shaky friendships, and terminate destructive ones. Friendships at work, friendships with relatives, and ethnic, racial, and gender friendship patterns are also covered. Throughout, Yager ably demonstrates how friends can improve the quality of our lives, enhance our self-esteem, provide encouragement, and compensate for family defects. Well recommended for public libraries.-Lucille M. Boone, San Jose P.L., Cal.
LIBRARY JOURNAL - Lucille Boone
“Yager ably demonstrates how friends can improve the quality of our lives, enhance our self-esteem, provide encouragement, and compensate for family defects.”
advance blurb-endorsement - Victoria Secunda
“A provocative exploration of the most vital of connections, Jan Yager’s book is a guidepost to the art of giving and receiving friendship” --bestselling author Victoria Secunda
Pubilshers Weekly - PW Reviewer
¿ “a rewarding, sensible self-help manual,”
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781889262291
  • Publisher: Hannacroix Creek Books, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 7/19/1999
  • Edition description: Revised
  • Edition number: 2
  • Pages: 308
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.69 (d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Jan Yager is the author of eight books on relationships including four on friendship such as WHEN FRIENDSHIP HURTS, which has been translated into 27 languages. (Dr. Yager’s other books on relationships include two on work relationships —WHO’S THAT SITTING ON MY DESK? and PRODUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS— and two on being single—SINGLE IN AMERICA and 125 WAYS TO MEET THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE). The author, who has a Ph.D. in sociology from The City University of New York, in addition to coaching on friendship, has taught at several colleges and universities including Penn State, The New School, St. John’s University, Temple University, and, most recently, at the University of Connecticut. Dr. Yager has often been interviewed by the media for her friendship expertise including Oprah, The View, The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, CBS Sunday Morning, the O’Reilly Factor, ABC Nightline, CNN, and NPR. For more on this author/expert, visit or
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Table of Contents

1 The Power of Friendship 3
2 What is a Friend? 15
3 Perspectives on Friendship 25
4 From Acquaintance to Friend 34
5 Friendship Patterns 47
6 Childhood and the Single Years 65
7 Marriage and Friendship 81
8 How to Maintain and Improve a Friendship 105
9 How to Prevent a Friendship from Ending 127
10 How to Handle Friendships that End 137
11 How Friendship Enhances Your Career 161
12 Male and Female Work Friendships 177
13 The Friendship Factor in Everyday Life 189
14 Summing Up 211
Resources 229
References 235
Acknowledgments 252
About the Author 258
Index 260
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 7 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 3, 2011

    Absolutely wonderful!!

    Friendshifts is an incredibly helpful guide to understanding, initiating, maintaining, and enhancing friendship in all aspects of one's life, be it in work, school, family, neighborhood, or just life in general. It is pleasantly organized, endlessly intriguing, and very easy to understand. In addition to the author's explicit findings, specific quotes and compelling real-life examples are given, helping one to determine how this friendship information can be applied to one's own life and therefore aid one in enriching one's relationships and life. I myself have been attempting to bounce back from an ended close friendship by building relationships with as many people as I can; however, I have begun to notice and understand, thanks to Friendshifts, that I cannot expect to cultivate the same kind of close friendship that recently ended in the kind of time frame I want--friendships, especially close or best ones, take at least a few years to build trust and a shared history. Friendship, as such a significant and influencing force in everyone's life, is a subject that anyone can gain from understanding better--and there is no better book to acquire this knowledge than through Jan Yager's Friendshifts.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 2, 2003

    Great book

    This book makes you understand your friends' behaviors as well as how you should behave to your friends. This book provides you the knowledge of what matters in a relationship and what you should do to keep your friendship last as long as possible. Great book!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2003

    Powerful book on Power of Friendship

    Throughout our lives, friendships are among the most enduring and treasured relationships. They are often complex and of many variations: old friends, new friends, lifetime friends, close friends, casual friends, etc. Friendships are seldom static, and they evolve, grow, deepen and sometimes even wither and fade away. Sociologist and author Dr. Jan Yager, in her excellent book "Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives," explores all the various facets of these most precious connections. "Friendshifts" offers thoughtful, insightful and wise observations which can only serve to strengthen the "ties that bind" and increase our understanding of these dynamics. Highly recommended!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 9, 2002

    A Very Positive Book That Will Lift Your Spirit

    "Friendshifts" is a must read for those of us who treasure our friends, have lost friends, or are in the midst of developing new friendships. At the same time, Dr. Jan Yager's insight into the concept of friendship should prove valuable to mental health care professionals, the clergy, as well as to social science researchers. By reading this book, you will develop a deeper understanding and appreciation of your friends. You will also begin to understand and perhaps improve upon your own approach to friendship with others. Read "Friendshifts" and share what you've learned with those you care about the most.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 7, 2002

    Wow! Great find!

    Friendshifts is one my favorite books of all time! I read it cover to cover and still keep it at my bedside as a reference! It has helped me to understand why some of my friendships have lasted 20 years and others only 20 minutes! What I found most interesting though, were the insights into all of the relationships in between. This book has helped me to discover why I may maintain a relationship with someone I instinctively prefer to hold at arm's length, and why I sometimes manage to lose touch with someone I hold dear. Friendships are an enormous part of my life and to understand them better, and to understand myself better, is nothing short of a blessing to me. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in the many facets of friendship.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 7, 2002

    Excellent read on the how friendship shapes our lives

    Friendship is considered an important enhancement to a full and rich successful life. It ranks right up there with fulfilling work, a happy homelife and good health. In fact satisfying friendships often positively affect one's work, homelife and health. Considering how important friendship is to our lives, it's interesting to note how little has been written on the subject. However, Dr. Jan Yager has written a wonderfully comprehensive book on the subject entitled: Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How it Shapes our Lives. The research done on this book is very impressive. Dr. Yager has not just made wild guesses and assumptions on how friendships affect our lives. The writer has gone to great lengths; conducting surveys and interviewing scores of men and women to find out details on how friendships have shaped their lives. The first section of Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship... explores the different levels of friendships (casual, close and best) as well as the rich variety of patterns our friendships take on. Section 2 is about how friendship changes throughout life; from childhood and the single years, through marriage and on to the end of our life. Different stages of life can affect the kinds of friendships that we develop and maintain. Section 3 is about how to be a better friend and is full of great advice on making, improving and maintaining our friendships. There's even advice on handling friendships that end. Section 4 about work and friendship goes into depth about how friendships can enhance our careers, and the differences and challenges involved in male and female work friendships. Section 5 also has great insights on how friendships affects our everyday lives, with good advice on how to better friends with our spouse, children and family members too. Dr. Yager recaps findings and advice in the 'Summing Up' Section which includes a listing of resources for helping us reach out to find new friendships. This is a very thorough book on a powerful subject matter and is a must read for anyone who values friendships and how they enrich our lives.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 26, 2000

    Friendshifts is also read in Berlin, Germany

    ¿Friendship is the most important thing in my life¿, ¿Without my friends my life would not be worth living.¿: especially in light of the continuing ¿singleization¿ (I just created this word. I hope you understand what I mean with this) of society, we come to realize that friendship is becoming more and more important. These days, it is very often the case that it is not the husband or wife that we are sharing our lives with, but a circle of intimate friends. However, to form friendships, to maintain and cultivate them and also to deal with the sometimes inevitable ending of a friendship has to be learned and understood. With her book ¿Friendshifts¿, Dr Jan Yager gives us the possibility to do just that! She helps us to take a close look at our friendship patterns, both in the workplace and in our private lives. An important book in a time that tends to be emotionally uprooted. A book for practically everybody: for young and old, for men and women. Because: isn¿t friendship an universal, an all encompassing topic for each and every one of us? Anette a reader from Germany.

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