From Conflict to Conciliation: How to Defuse Difficult Situations

Paperback (Print)
Used and New from Other Sellers
Used and New from Other Sellers
from $15.87
Usually ships in 1-2 business days
(Save 50%)
Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (10) from $15.87   
  • New (4) from $26.31   
  • Used (6) from $15.87   


Conflict is inevitable, but educators can work together effectively if they understand how to defuse difficult situations before they escalate. This resource describes the Six-C process, a conflict resolution method that allows educators to progressively take more assertive steps as necessary to resolve disagreements.

Based on research and easy to remember, this approach helps readers handle challenging situations using the least amount of time and energy. Illustrated with many examples and scenarios, the six steps are

Concern: identifying actionable concerns

Confer: expressing concerns in nonthreatening ways

Consult: reviewing and clarifying the situation collaboratively

Confront: considering consequences and giving clear warnings

Combat: taking sustained, logical action

Conciliation: mending the wounds and restoring relationships

Focused on preserving relationships while resolving disagreements, From Conflict to Conciliation can be used in any situation or setting, from the classroom to the community.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Sally Butzin
"A very important and timely book that is well grounded in conflict theory and research. I especially appreciate that the strategies go beyond merely ending the conflict, but also speak to healing and seeking reconciliation. Purkey, Schmidt, and Novak have produced another winner to help educators create inviting and joyful schools. "
Alexis Ludewig
"From the classroom to the boardroom, it’s inevitable for conflicts to happen. This book will introduce you to the six Cs, a logical process to tame those disagreements. The liberally sprinkled real-life anecdotes will keep you reading, and better yet, learning.”
Diane Smith
“This book is a valuable, useful resource for all educators and administrators and is a significant contribution to the topic of conflict resolution. It provides a step-by-step process that begins not with action but with internal feelings and the confronter’s response to a concern or conflict and concludes with addressing the healing of the internal emotional needs of both the confronter and those being confronted.”
Bob Bowen
"In the democratic approach to conflict resolution presented in this book, the goal is to resolve the conflict in a way that builds relationships. The Six-C approach provides a framework within which people can work together to attack the problem, not each other. By ending each conflict with conciliation, the people who use this approach in schools, hospitals, homes, and businesses will be able to do much more than resolve conflict—they can build each other up so future conflicts will be easier to resolve. "
Dallas J. Blankenship
"Effective problem-solving skills are essential in the home, school, community, and in business and industry.The Six-C Process provides sequential steps and practical procedures to cultivate respect and solve problems. "
Billy Tate
“When your office door bursts open with an angry parent, teacher, or child, combat has already commenced and it is too late to regret your decision to not purchase this book beforehand.”
Peter Kai-Hung Wong
"The 6 Cs provide strategies to support us to move from conflict to conciliation in a most effective and economical manner.They also open up a new way of thinking to turn potential conflicts into possible meansfor mutual growth through this meaningful and inviting process. "
Tom Carr
"I highly recommend this book to anyone who works with today's youth. It will decrease teasing and bullying issues. I have used the six Cs for several years at my school and it works! "
James A. Ratledge
"A practical guide to help educators and others who deal with the public determine how to choose your battles and deal with them at the least aggressive level using a logical and respectful process. "
Betty L. Siegel
"An ethically sensitive and compelling perspective on dealing with inevitable life conflicts in ways that are positive, beneficial, and self- and others-enhancing. "
Jenny Edwards
"This book contains a wealth of strategies to use on a daily basis for interacting effectively with others. Educators will enjoy teaching these valuable life skills to their students and seeing the positive results. "
David A. Chapman
“Every teacher should study the Six-C Process. The authors provide a positive, constructive, and hands-on approachto dealing with challenging situations. What a great process for educators to use!”
Sue Bowen
"A truly brilliant guide to help the reader assess the inevitable conflicts of daily life! Through a step-by-step process, the authors share pointed questions that can prevent conflicts of life and work from becoming overwhelming. Readers will find this useful for building personal relationships as well as professional ones. "
Tommie R. Radd
“The 6-C process adds a unique dimension to conflict resolution. My experience with the 6 Cs integrated in the Grow With Guidance System produced powerful and empowering results. Thank you for this dynamic book!”
Belquis Majboor
"The authors recommend useful strategies for improving the human condition using the least amount of energy and time. This is a good read for employees and managers who work with the diverse individuals in today's fast-paced and competitive workplace. "
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781412979863
  • Publisher: SAGE Publications
  • Publication date: 2/2/2010
  • Pages: 166
  • Product dimensions: 5.90 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Meet the Author

William Watson Purkey is professor emeritus of counselor education at the University of North Carolina-Greensboro and co-founder of The International Alliance for Invitational Education®. A noted author, researcher, speaker, and leader, Purkey has authored nearly 100 articles and more than a dozen books.

John J. Schmidt is professor emeritus of counselor education at East Carolina University, where he chaired the department for fourteen years. Author of more than 50 professional articles and nearly 20 books and manuals, Schmidt is a national certified counselor and a licensed professional counselor in North Carolina.

John M. Novak is professor and former chair of Graduate Studies in Education at Brock University, Canada. An invited keynote speaker on six continents, Novak is the author of numerous articles, book chapters, and ten books and monographs. He is the past president of the Society of Professors of Education.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Preface ix

Acknowledgments xiii

About the Authors xv

1 Conflict and the Six-C Process 1

Introduction 1

Research and Anecdotal Support 3

What Is Unique About This Book? 4

The Six-C Process 5

The Conciliation Capstone 5

Saving Time and Energy 6

Conflict Is Inevitable 8

The Use and Misuse of Power 9

The Democratic Ideal 11

Why Everyone Matters 12

The Perceptual Tradition 14

When Viewpoints Collide 16

Acceptance Versus Agreement 17

Summary 19

2 Concern 21

Latent Concerns 22

Actionable Concerns 22

What Is a Concern? 23

What Are Moral and Ethical Concerns? 31

What Are Your Concerns? 33

Summary 38

3 Confer 41

Setting the Stage for Conferring 42

The Value of Seeking Commitment 47

Helpful Communication Skills 48

The 3+++wish? Formula 51

Practicing the 3+++wish? Formula 59

Handling Challenges 60

Handling Outright Rejection 61

Summary 63

4 Consult 65

Considering the Situation 67

What Is a Consulting Relationship? 76

Using a Triangular Structure 77

Involving Others in a Consultation 79

Sequential Steps for Consulting 81

Practicing the Consulting Sequence 87

Summary 89

5 Confront 91

Questions to Ask Yourself 92

Difference Between Conflict and Confrontation 99

Continuing Importance of Clear Communication 100

Confrontation as a Positive Force 103

Adapting Constructive Confrontation 104

Applying Five Practical Tips 111

Summary 113

6 Combat 115

Constraints on Combat 116

Punishments, Penalties, and Perceptions 117

Increasing Chances for a Desirable Outcome 119

Taking a Stand 126

Civilized Dissent 128

Summary 130

7 Conciliation and Beyond 133

Conciliation After Combat 136

Conciliation as a Reflective Process 143

Beyond Conciliation 148

Summary 155

References 157

Index 161

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star


4 Star


3 Star


2 Star


1 Star


Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation


  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)