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Section II: A Widow's Strengths: The Sweet Gentle Current of Freedom Rising
4. Our Opportunity to Change: Free Time and Flexibility
5. We Comfort Others and Comfort Comes Back
Section III: Relationships: Never the Same
6. Friends: Letting Go and Loving the Real Thing
7. Family: Healing After the Tree Shakes
Section IV: The New You: The New Woman in the Mirror - Different and Strong
8. Finding Yourself: "I didn't know you."
9. Finding Your Mission: A Purpose Worth Living For.
10. A New Faith: God Moves from Good to Grand
Appendix: Financial Planning Worksheets
Appendix: Budget Planning Worksheets
Appendix: How to Start a Ministry to Widows
Appendix: Seven Tips to Help Widows
Appendix: Seven Tips for the Holidays
Posted March 4, 2012
Posted January 6, 2014
My husband has been dead 7 months now. I have been reading many books on being a widow. All are different and offer diverse perspectives. I found this book very helpful. Mrs. Neff has already gone down the road of “widowhood” and does an excellent job of lighting the way for others. She very clearly and thoroughly shows you what you might experience, challenges and pitfalls alike. I felt like she was taking me by the hand and walking with me.
Becoming a widow is something you cannot prepare for; there is no learning curve. The moment your spouse dies you are confronted with learning as you go. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve, it is very personal, but we all have common denominators we will face.
I found being a widow very confusing. There wasn’t a file I could neatly tuck it into and predict or control what I faced, emotionally or physically. Mrs. Neff’s book brought me not only reassurance but also encouragement in these dark moments. She helped me realize I wasn’t as alone as I felt. Others had gone through this and survived; she herself had made it.
She showed me there were choices I could make in this new life I had not chosen. One was realizing who in my life I could turn to and depends on to give me guidance and support. She gave me sound advice about finances, that of course drastically change when I was suddenly alone. She covered so many things that I would not have thought of in this fog I am walking through.
Unlike many books this one dared to approach some positive changes that would come into my life. Yes, positive! I know that is hard to even fathom when you are in such pain. She does not ignore the agony and heartache you are experiencing, as she does talk about it, neither is she negative and morose. Her approach is positive and upbeat without being offensive to a freshly broken heart.
I found help in glimpsing into the future even though I am not ready to venture there now. Mrs. Neff reminds us the importance of reaching out to others and comforting them as we have been comforted as the Bible speaks of in, 2 Corinthians 1:4, “Who comforted us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”
One of the things I appreciated most of all and made the book so relevant to me was the strong Biblical thread that ran through it. As a Christian that is the only way I am able to approach anything is through God’s Word. My book has many dog eared pages for me to refer back to the parts that were especially helpful. I highly recommend this to any woman who has lost her spouse. Thank you, Mrs. Neff, for this work of the heart.
I received this book free from the publisher Moody Publishers. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.