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From Particles and Disputations: Writings for Jeff: A Book of Hours [NOOK Book]

Overview

"From Particles and Disputations" is a collection of literary artifacts in the form of creative writings from a twelve year period in my life with which the reader engages to construct an intelligently told love story with a sad but transcendent ending. From our meeting in 1982 until my partner’s death from AIDS in 1994 I marked each birthday, anniversary, holiday, and other special or difficult occasion we shared with a piece of writing – sometimes prose, sometimes poetry – chronicling and reflecting upon the event. These were intimate writings
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From Particles and Disputations: Writings for Jeff: A Book of Hours

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Overview

"From Particles and Disputations" is a collection of literary artifacts in the form of creative writings from a twelve year period in my life with which the reader engages to construct an intelligently told love story with a sad but transcendent ending. From our meeting in 1982 until my partner’s death from AIDS in 1994 I marked each birthday, anniversary, holiday, and other special or difficult occasion we shared with a piece of writing – sometimes prose, sometimes poetry – chronicling and reflecting upon the event. These were intimate writings composed solely for the purpose of expressing myself to one other person. Following my partner’s death I collected these writings into a “book of hours” which I entitled "From Particles and Disputations."
I believe these writings have something important to add to a much needed conversation in our society about what constitutes morality. I believe that morality is the process of establishing, protecting, and enriching the trustworthiness of our relationships with ourselves, our sense of deity, and the world in which we live. For most of us, the first and foremost ripple of our morality finds its expression is in our relationship with a mate. The trust we give to another individual to share and protect our person and our property, those most basic aspects of our being, is what renders these relationships sacred. I trust readers will find that the significance of this book is in the emotional power of the real-life story that the writings reflect and in real-life themes they engage.
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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 8, 2012

    Not To Be Missed -- Stunning History of Love and Life!

    In February of 1982, Philip Luing and Jeffrey Lalonde meet when they are assigned to the same study group at their church. After rehearsal for a play, they went to a local deli for bagels and coffee on April 15th and begin their 12 year love affair.

    Phil is the more artistic, creative and emotional of the two; Jeff is more pragmatic. Over the course of their lives together, Phil writes Jeff letters of love, feelings and celebration. He marks not only their milestones - birthdays, Valentine's Day, Christmas, anniversaries - but also those times in their lives that are mundane. Just because.

    In June of 1985, both men tested positive for HIV.

    And on March 9, 1994, in the early hours of the morning, Jeff slipped from this life with his love standing watch.

    Phil took the letters and notes and scribblings that he had given Jeff over the years and collected them into this small tome, "From Particles and Disputations: Writings for Jeff. A Book of Hours."

    And what a tome. This beautiful little beating heart of a book traces the evolution not only of a life, but of a love. It is unflinching in its joy and sorrow, in showing the fun and whimsy and growing pains of a relationship. How it starts so sweetly and then hits bumps. How we question ourselves, and each other. And how the mundane can become so very precious when viewed from the now.

    Mr. Luing - Phil, if he will forgive me for taking the liberty - gives us twelve years of his heart. From the missives he shows us, he never shied away from acknowledging the beauty as well as the pettiness of their life together. I was constantly amazed by the power of his observational skills. How he, and I can only assume Jeff, never feared to face the demands and hurts that were in their relationship.

    The prose? So very lovely...

    How love means more than just you and me...

    "We long ago discovered that one and one make three, not one; there will always be you, me and us at work in our domestic affairs."

    How the disease they shared taught them lessons in how to support each other...

    "Perhaps the vital lesson we've learned is that we bring injuries to each other to soothe, not to clone - and that we do nothing to soothe the other's injury by inflicting it upon ourselves."

    How love isn't one great big thing, but a series of small considerations...

    "Instead it is a quiet, practical matter, like looking around a room to see what needs to be done."

    And the hardest part, for me personally, was reading the passages when Jeff was not long for this world. The beautiful description of their last trip to Paris, so very different from their first, had me in tears. Terribly intimate, it reminded me of lost loves and friends in my own life. How Phil massaged Jeff's sore muscles after their day walking around the streets of the city. But this time, it was because the bumping of his wheelchair made Jeff's legs and neck sore. I had to put the book down and talk with a friend for a moment to settle my heart.

    Quiet grace. Two men who floated through the first couple of years of their mating, and then settled, sometimes comfortably, sometimes not, into their love. But always present. Always in love. Always two, no, three - you, me and us.

    It was a true honor to be invited into this intimate story of how a love grows in fits and spurts, through good and bad, in sickness and in health. This is not to be missed, but savored and appreciated.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 5, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    From Particles and Disputations: Writings of Love and Loss Rati

    From Particles and Disputations: Writings of Love and Loss

    Rating: 4.5 of 5
    Author: Philip D. Luing
    Format: Kindle, ebook

    Since its release in 2007, Rob Thomas' single "Little Wonders", whose theme of holding on to those small moments that together weave a tapestry of one's life with friends and family, has held special meaning for me. As I read Philip Luing's "From Particles and Disputations" echoes of Thomas' song came back to me. Luing chronicles through his beautiful poetic prose the life he and his partner Jeffery shared over their twelve years together.

    This is a wonderful tribute to a real and intense relationship. Through annual snapshots of their life in December, Valentines day, their anniversary, and Jeffery's birthday, Luing conveys the intensity of a relationship between two very different people brought together by love. Readers journey into their early all consuming physical passion, the eventual questioning of their compatibility and the occasional distance felt by each, the reaffirmation of their love, the devastating entrance of HIV's entrance in their lives, Luing's tortured soul acknowledging the sickness enveloping his partner while at the same type trying to balance his own emotions to remain optimistic though he doesn't feel such, and Jeffrey's eventual passing and peace made while scattering ashes years later.

    I wish I could do justice to these "Writings to Jeffrey" but I cannot. The raw words within "From Particles to Disputations" speak for themselves.

    Note: A complimentary copy of this work was provided in return for a review.

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