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From Pink to BlueAn Enlightening Concept That Awakens "Truth of Being" and Reminds You To Focus On The Path That You Were Born To Follow.
By Marilyn Louise Lawrence
Balboa PressCopyright © 2012 Marilyn Louise Lawrence
All right reserved.
Chapter OneAwareness To Knowingness
As I sat watching one of my nieces twirl herself around the living room clad with a towel as a cape and a spatula as a wand, I was reminded of years past as I watched other nieces, now beautiful grown women, delight themselves in the adventures of infinite possibilities. Consumed so deeply with the vision of limitless realms, they were unaware of anyone or anything. Pure natural belief illuminated from them. Belief that each of us is born with, the belief that we can be anything we want to be, including a princess in a beautifully adorned gown with a magical wand, dancing in near perfect step as the music floats through the air, in our ears, for only us to hear.
I smile when I think of my own son at age 3 walking down the stairs of our home wearing only a cowboy hat, cowboy boots and a holster, fast on the trail of something that his imagination deemed worthy of a chase. Knar did I ever stop his search, with the exception of adding clothing to the mix.
I have such fond memories as I think about their childhoods and feel so fortunate to have witnessed their "bright light" the times I was able. Certainly each differs in personality, actions, emotions, but there is and was one constant in all of their young lives, an unwavering faith that they were special. It is that Faith that is given to each child, rather "gifted" to each child, whether boy or girl when they enter this world.
Each child had a favorite color at this young age; pink was the first choice of most of my nieces, a pure woman's energy color. Each thought themselves to be the perfect image of their imagination.
What a wonderful thing to witness and enjoy.
However, something happens to children I have observed, by the time they near the age of seven to eight. Their sense of personal image is shaken and sometimes completely tumbled. Something has happened to the Faith in infinite possibilities that was gifted to them. In this wavering of character, their favorite things change. Whether that is what they want to be when they grow up, to their favorite color, things change, sometimes slowly, sometimes it seems overnight.
There is a change, as I observed just recently in my niece, a change in favorite color from pink to blue.
Girls no longer like princesses, or think they are or can be one. A towel could certainly never be a gown. Being called a princess has changed from a delight to an insult of sort.
Boys, who once delighted themselves stomping around the house in the most perfect self-appointed example of a dinosaur, complete with snarls and roars, find the idea silly. Being a real cowboy by simply wearing boats and a hat is not logical or possible.
"Children must be taught how to think, not what to think". Margaret Mead
Yes, their image of themselves, the image that was gifted to them from God, which they delighted in for all their young lives, was now challenged. Self-doubt and judging takes the place of pure faith and limitless possibilities. Whether this comes from older children, mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, somewhere, someone has interrupted their own natural flow. Someone has penetrated their very core of right and wrong and made these children question themselves. They are told that there is no such thing as princesses and magical lands, lest grow up to be a princess. They are ridiculed and laughed at, made fun of and teased. The beautiful child that once floated with infinite possibilities is changed, their spirit deflated, corrupted in a sense, and they can never go back. This child will now question everything that he or she thought to be true and right in their informative years. They now doubt their own choices.
What a sad thing we have done. What a wrong has been committed.
Now they are faced with the task of relearning things, however this time to someone else's steps. They are confused and non-committal fearing ridicule. The simplest task may seem difficult, they struggle to make sense of things, often times masking their behavior with forgetfulness or humor.
The confusion is not because they do not know the information or cannot learn it; the confusion is not because they are unable to make simple decisions. It is instead because they are afraid of being wrong, being in trouble.
The fact that everything they thought to be true in their younger lives has been judged by a party of their peers or superiors, judged, criticized and more times than not corrected, they have been placed in the position of doubting everything they think is right.
These children have been forced to be someone they are not and for that, they are placed in the position of questioning everything.
They have to again "figure things out," as told to me by one of the children I interviewed.
Children are placed in the position of relearning nearly everything. What is acceptable behavior, answers, personality, likes, dislikes, relearning everything based not on them, but based on other people or society. They have been taught doubt, doubt in themselves.
Having been so deeply saddened when this process was made aware to me and realizing this process has and would repeat itself generation after generation, I knew it was time to share this Awareness-Knowingness-Concept.
"If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales". Albert Einstein
Chapter TwoA Pattern leading to The "Concept"
It is the Concept of telling a child that they cannot be their dream, that their ideas and opinions are wrong or silly that needs to be addressed; it needs to be modified for the betterment of our children's future, for everyone's future really.
If we allow every child to believe in their dreams, then their "purpose" will never be doubted. If their purpose is never doubted, then achieving their "greatest good" will happen seamlessly.
Instead of spending years correcting the harm of hiding their inner truths, they will spend those years in their "greatest good", achieving more than could even be imagined I would venture to say.
"There is no greater insight into the future than recognizing ... when we save our children, we save ourselves". Margaret Mead
As it is now, it is not until later in life, sometimes much later in life and sadly, sometimes never, that many women and men again begin to embrace their truth of infinite possibilities. Women and men spend hours, rather years searching, studying and processing. Through long painful analyzing and letting go of past violations that have been stored deeply inside, below piles of memories, each having to be peeled away, examined, addressed and released.
I think it is important at this point to recognize that not all children have been raised to doubt themselves and their unique purpose for life.
They have been spared the pain of self-doubt. Kudos to those adults, whoever you are, for having the insight to give complete and constant unconditional love without judgment and ridicule. I commend you for realizing the importance of the role you have taken in aiding in the development of young souls. That knowing for every action there is a reaction and with full consciousness making choices to help develop the young souls that were blessed to be around you.
I am hoping with the words combined here in these pages to open the minds of some who had never had the opportunity to realize that their actions were affecting others in a negative way. In effect striping away the individual character given to that child. "People do not know what they do not know" I always say.
Unless something is brought to someone's attention, no changes would be made, no changes thought necessary and they would walk in the same path, continuing the same process of removing individual personalities, of dowsing the light on a golden soul.
Another conversation is brought to mind now. I heard someone say, every child needs someone to tease them and bully them when they are little, it makes them tough.
Yes, unfortunately it does do just that. It teaches children at a young age that they need to protect themselves and put up walls; that people will be out to cut them down. Just the opposite of what I am striving to accomplish. Joking, laughing and humor create joy and is essential, however not at the expense of another's good. I am suggesting behaviors that will shift the whole conscious energy in the world to one of Enlightenment, "Truth of Being" and divinely guided purpose. Imagine the deep satisfaction and joy that will be felt in doing so and then imagine that energy being spread and multiplied. Manifestations in accomplishments and developments would be limitless!
"Rebel children, I urge you, fight the turgid slick of conformity with which they seek to smother your glory". Russell Brand
I was speaking with my now adult son about this subject, telling him that I felt very strongly about this. I told him that you never hear parents telling their sons that they cannot be a firefighter or police officer as they run through the house playing "cops and robbers"; however, you do hear adults telling little girls that they cannot be princesses. He remarked, "that was because there is no such thing as princesses".
My work was cut out for me. My own son had forgotten the possibilities of chasing bad guys clad in his Spiderman suit.
It is the concept that I am trying to bring to attention. If you instill self-doubt in children at their young informative ages then we are directly affecting their self-propelled drive to be and do anything in the world. To grasp whatever it is that they truly believe in and pursue it without fear of judgment and criticism and teasing. If left alone little girls will realize on their own the likelihood of being a princess and will find their own purpose without second-guessing their drive and decision. I believe strongly that we need to be the best mentors we can be for these little souls.
That means not teasing them for wanting to be whatever makes them happy at the time, but rejoicing with them and teaching them that anything in this world is possible.
What a world we would create if we had children with pure and unlimited intention focusing on the path that was designed for them.
I know that there will be some that say "but this ... or but that"; please remember the "Concept" I am talking about; a process of enlightened communication.
"You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you. But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew". Pocahontas. Walt Disney Company
Every child is a gift from God, a bright light with a special purpose for their life.
It is our job to stop getting in the way.
It is our job to be wise enough
To Guide without directing.
To Teach without destroying.
To Protect without preventing.
To Provide for without controlling.
To Recognize and Nurture the very essence of their being.
It is like the bumpers on the walls of the bumper car game at a fair or amusement park. The bumpers bounce the cars back in to the game, each car is operated by its own driver, with their own agenda; the bumpers just help keep the cars in the game.
So too is it our job to keep these children "in the game", in "their game". To help bounce them back when they lose control or focus and to allow them to be their own driver, respecting in the fact that they are on their own journey in life.
The easiest way to start is to (please) stop teasing, belittling and creating self-doubt. Instead, rejoice in the observation of limitless imagination and possibilities. Who knows, it may just help you start recognizing your own journey and help you fill yourself with the joy of your own divine grace.
At birth adults need to begin saying, "I believe and support your purpose". Teach others around them, including other children to say the same thing. When you hear a child being teased or ridiculed assume the role of enlightener by teaching the importance of protecting individuals own paths.
If we all work together, helping each other, uniting in the cause of greatness of purpose, then we will start a new trend. WE will create a shift in society. Just like with anything, it needs to start somewhere with someone, make that someone you.
"I believe in you and support you and your life purpose".
"Accept children the way we accept trees- with gratitude, because they are a blessing- but do not have expectations or desires. You don't expect trees to change; you love them as they are". Isabel Allende
Create your own higher awareness to what your words and actions are doing and have done.
Pay very close attention to your reactions to your children's words and behaviors.
When you create this higher awareness in yourself, you will begin recognizing when you are intervening on another's life path.
Let me interject here by saying that I am not suggesting that children are allowed to misbehave and run rampant.
Allowing a child to embrace his or her own individual character and purpose is the goal. Realizing that each child has a purpose that may be completely different from that of their immediate surroundings, family, peers and still nurturing that child is the goal.
"Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them with your favorite colors" Khaled Hosseini
Chapter ThreeFocusing on Children Enlightens Us
I had written the prior pages and asked a couple of my friends to read the beginnings of my new book, testing the subject matter so to speak.
The most amazing thing happened. I did receive the acknowledgement I wanted regarding the importance of the concept I was sharing, but to my surprise, these women, each accomplished in their own right, were profoundly moved by the words they read. Without exception, the initial reaction was not of how their actions had or would affect that of their children or children around them, but how they were living testament of how the process had worked for, or rather against them as a child. Each of these accomplished women seemed to wilt as they shared with me stories about how their father, mother, aunt, uncle or whoever devalued them. Stories so painful to remember it brought tears to their eyes. It is a violation in sense, not one that is chargeable, but one that has lasting effects nonetheless.
Because of these honest, candid reactions, I vowed determination to spread my thoughts through words to as many as would read and listen. It was too, because of these admissions that I looked at my own life with clearer eyes. Yes, I too had been stripped of "me" as a child.
"It is never too late to have a happy childhood". Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker"
I remember standing in front of the TV in my grandparent's living room, not more than 3 or 4 years old dancing to the songs drifting from the Ed Sullivan show as my grandmother smiled on, "beautiful merry sunshine", she would say. "Merry Sunshine" was the name my grandmother called me. It always brought warmth to my heart when she used that term of endearment towards me.
In fact, to this day I am still warmed with the unconditional joy my grandparents showered on me. I miss them all dearly.
I was raised on a farm in a community of 500. I now feel fortunate for the experiences that were taught me by this humble life and beginning. I now understand that it was me that made the choice to experience this beginning and it could be or rather was this experience that aided me in recognizing the treatment of the youths around me, knowing of their lost years and potential because of the treatment.
I do not blame anyone, I do not judge anyone, but certainly, those are things that I had to learn again. Children are not born with judgment, blame, doubt, failure; it is something that is taught to them. By the words they hear daily around them or to them. These words are spoken innocently in most cases from people unaware of the repercussions each word will generate.
As a young child, I learned if I did not talk, if I did not share my opinions and views, I would not be judged as easily. My ideas on most everything differed from that of my families, or so it seemed at the time.
So much so there were times I remember wondering if I was adopted. That thought makes me laugh now knowing that it was with intention that I belonged where I was. It has been a journey for me to make it back to my starting place. To look for and recognize my life purpose. I say starting place because that is where we are placed as children, at our starting point and then we go from there to accomplish our life's purpose. This is the basis for my message, aka Concept in this book. If people did not spend so much of their life off the track of their true-life purpose, then dreams of accomplishments will be shadowed by the actual event I would venture to say.
Excerpted from From Pink to Blue by Marilyn Louise Lawrence Copyright © 2012 by Marilyn Louise Lawrence. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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