From Shy To Social

Overview

Dating and courtship are complex learned behaviors so it's no surprise some men could use some help, especially those who are shy. This is also true of recently divorced men who have not dated for many years and feel intimidated at the prospect of starting over.
From Shy to Social: The Shy Man's Guide to Personal & Dating Success goes far beyond simple dating pointers by providing practical assignments and cutting-edge advice for the love shy man to build social aptitude and...
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Overview

Dating and courtship are complex learned behaviors so it's no surprise some men could use some help, especially those who are shy. This is also true of recently divorced men who have not dated for many years and feel intimidated at the prospect of starting over.
From Shy to Social: The Shy Man's Guide to Personal & Dating Success goes far beyond simple dating pointers by providing practical assignments and cutting-edge advice for the love shy man to build social aptitude and improve dating success. An extensive reference manual on social improvement, From Shy to Social teaches reserved men how to gain confidence in everything from telephone manners to group interaction to directly approaching women for conversation, and perhaps most importantly, how to keep from getting the brush-off for a second date.
Each assignment builds on the skills learned previously to lift your social and dating ability to an exciting new level. From Shy to Social helps reserved men overcome social anxiety, improve their social life, and gain the confidence to ask women out.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780986836428
  • Publisher: Sunbow Press
  • Publication date: 11/30/2011
  • Pages: 214
  • Sales rank: 382,090
  • Product dimensions: 5.90 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Read an Excerpt

What Women Want

Women want bold men. Or if that word is too far away from where you are right now, they want decisive men. They want a man that is not afraid to take the lead and make decisions. This doesn't mean they want a tyrant that always wants his way, but someone that is not wishy-washy or tentative in their actions.

If you are a self-described 'nice guy' and don't think there's anything wrong with that, be honest - do you bring any excitement to women's lives? Do you ever playfully tease a woman, or are you always agreeing with her? Are you able to talk to her like you talk to your friends, or are you always smiling and doing her favors?

You are probably displaying the type of behavior women want in a friend, but not in a lover. If you have been displaying these traits for a long time, you must unlearn them and stop being the nice guy, instead working towards being an assertive man. You need to understand this concept and adopt a more resolute outlook.

This applies to all your behaviors. Again, this does not mean you must become a jerk, but rather a man who leads, has a purposeful stride, a resolute voice, a steady gaze, a sincere confident smile. All of this equals masculinity. Add to that spontaneity, humor and the ability to playfully tease, along with the resolve to not acquiesce to her every request (i.e., be a challenge to her) and you have a potent mix that almost every woman on the planet finds attractive.

Moreover, most women like sexually assertive men. This means knowing when to escalate to a kiss, and taking the lead in the bedroom.

A man whose primary personality characteristics are less masculine (overly soft), including being subservient to most people (in posture and behavior), and who is indecisive, meek, overly agreeable, does not pursue goals and has little ambition, will be very unattractive to women.

Women want an emotionally strong man, someone that can provide for and protect her offspring. This is why it is important to many women that the man has a decent job, is stable under pressure, and is assertive. These preferences are so ingrained that even women past child bearing age still want men with these qualities. Some women prefer the man be older than she is, so that he can bring the benefit of his life experience to the table.

When you go back to the earlier chapters on style, developing a confident walk and handshake, and having a clear, decisive speaking voice, it starts to make sense. Those attributes not only help give you confidence, but they also make you more attractive to women.

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Table of Contents

Introduction 3
Understanding Shyness 7
What's Holding You Back? 19
Negative versus Positive Thoughts 29
Be Proactive: Chart a New Direction 36
Lifestyle Choices that Lead to Misery 44
Emerging from your Seclusion, one step at a time 45
Assignment #1: Online Contributions 48
Working on your Voice 49
Assignment #2: Voice & Telephone Clarity 54
Personal Grooming 55
Develop some Style 56
Body Language & Posture 59
Assignment #3: Improve your Look 65
Getting used to Interacting with People 72
Assignment #4: Saying "Hello" to Strangers 74
Assignment #5: Short Conversations with Strangers 76
Assignment #6: Enroll in Special Interest Courses 77
The Art of Conversation 80
How to Get Invited to Parties 87
Building your Social Proof 91
What Women Want 94
Why Women Like Bad Boys 97
Assignment #7: Approach 50 Women in 10 Days 104
Where to Engage with Women (Extended Duration) 106
Online Dating 114
Speed Dating 119
Pickup Artists 120
Putting Theories into Practice 130
Where to Engage with Women (Fleeting Duration) 132
Assignment #8: Approaches Leading to Conversation 139
Approaching in Bars and Clubs 142
Switching from the Opener to Conversation 147
Daytime Approaches 152
Reducing the Flake-Out Factor 163
Approach Anxiety 177
Solutions to Approach Roadblocks 182
Before your Date: Phone Game 183
When on a Date 184
Ensuring you Get a Second Date 189
Final Assignment 201
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