Read an Excerpt
From Type A to Type T
How to Be a Transformational Leader in a Bottom-Line World
By Marty Stanley Balboa Press
Copyright © 2015 Marty Stanley
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5043-2797-8
CHAPTER 1
You're Not Crazy
She sat staring at me, eyes filled with tears. "I never cry. I don't know why I'm crying now."
And so it began. Barbara hated her job of 20 years. As an officer of the company, she led a team of over 100 people. She didn't want to come to work anymore. She couldn't relate to her colleagues. She wasn't happy.
"Am I crazy? I make really good money. I have a great husband. I'm successful beyond my wildest dreams. Why am I so unhappy? People would give anything to have my life. What's wrong with me?"
Nothing.
Over the years, I have heard this scenario hundreds of times. It usually occurs for women in their late 40's and 50's. For men, it is usually a little later in life, maybe 55-65. However, I have had two male clients in their late 40's who expressed similar feelings — both business owners. They described their lives as being "flat-lined."
That's the general feeling for these people who would typically describe themselves as raging Type A personalities. Briefly stated for background purposes, people who are Type A are competitive, achievement oriented, aggressive and, very often, workaholics. It would not be uncommon for Type A's to be task-oriented, concerned with efficiency and struggle with collaboration. They also like to be in the spotlight and often are, as they can be highly successful in their endeavors.
So, naturally, this deadened feeling is very disconcerting. For most of these people, it's usually a result of having achieved a high level of success and once arriving at the top — whatever the "top" is for them — they find themselves looking out and thinking: "This is it?"
"I've worked all these years, sacrificed friends and family and put my career ahead of many things. Now I'm in a position of influence and "power," and it doesn't seem to be that great. What's wrong with me?"
As I see it, it's part of the leadership process of being more discerning. It's a stage where real leaders are discovering a higher purpose for their leadership.
Janet Hagberg's Stages of Power
There is some interesting research to support this shift in how people approach leadership. According to Janet O. Hagberg, author of Real Power — Stages of Personal Power in Organizations, people demonstrate different levels of power. While there are "6 Stages of Power," in most organizations, one will usually find people who are at Stages 2, 3 and 4.
At Stage 2, people are either entering their professional career and learning the ropes or are dependent upon their supervisor for information and approval to take action. They have gone from Stage 1 of being secure but feeling powerless and trapped to power by association.
While these first two stages of power are necessary steps in the process, for our purposes, we are going to focus on Stage 3, specifically the similarities between Type A personality traits and those identified in Hagberg's Stage 3. When we talk about leaders in an organization, Stage 3 is the norm. The commonalities between Stage 3 and Type A are egocentricity, competitiveness, ambition, power through knowledge and expertise, a rational perspective and a need for control. This type of leadership is very bottom line oriented. If you can't show the benefit to bottom line profitability, the Type A leader may ignore or disregard ideas as "fluff."
It's also important to take a brief look at the idea of power and its ramifications, which is common in organizations. The Stage 3 or Type A style of leadership is a very masculine style, as evidenced by bravado and competitiveness, being the expert and a high desire for all the perks and status to prove you've "made it."
Many of the symbols that "prove you've made it" are wearing a trendy, expensive watch, designer shoes, the luxury car or club memberships. I remember meeting a young "up and comer" who ordered a very expensive scotch on the rocks, and he secretly confided to me that it was part of his desire to be viewed as more mature and successful.
When women are in this stage of power, they adapt more masculine language, maybe even style of dress. To succeed, they've been told to "toughen up." Back in the 1980's, as women were rising in the ranks of corporate leadership, almost every woman read John Malloy's Dress For Success and started sporting boxy suits and perky bow ties, so they could look the part.
Today, fortunately, women have given up the manly clothes but are still cautioned not to look too feminine and God forbid — don't cry. To succeed in today's corporate environment, women have to prove themselves by being tough, rational, non-emotional, results oriented.
While those are not bad qualities, women inherently have additional skill sets that aren't necessarily valued in Stage 3 organizations or leadership teams. And because for the past 40 years most organizations have been male dominated, women have learned to adopt or emulate many masculine characteristics in the workplace.
Some women have learned those skills all too well — perhaps to an extreme. I had a client who was an officer at a large financial institution. I was hired as an executive coach because Jean had been promoted many times and was now at a senior level, when her boss basically said, "Stop acting that way. You're too aggressive." When I met her, she told me in a very defiant way, "I'm the one they go to, to get the job done!" I could only imagine all the dead bodies left in the wake of her steamroller approach.
This was a classic Stage 3 woman. Aggression in women is not a valued trait in the organizational leadership ranks. Assertiveness is more acceptable, but women can't be too conciliatory either. Successful women in organizations learn how to survive in this kind of culture. At least until the day they begin to feel like they've lost themselves and are asking, "What happened to me?" They begin to feel like an impostor and really uncomfortable with who they are or how they feel they are projecting themselves.
For most men, "Stage 3" isn't a "stage" but just who they are naturally in organizations, more competitive, goal focused, bottom line oriented, analytical and rational. It's not personal — it's business.
Enter Stage 4
Yay! Hagberg says that Stage 4 is the first real stage of leadership because it's at this stage that there is an integration of the traditional feminine qualities of reflection, competence without bravado and mentoring. Leaders at this stage are less egocentric and are more concerned about long-term impact and development of people.
Once men, and women especially, get past the thought that they're not crazy for not wanting all the status and outward glory, they can start developing deeper connections and contributing to the big picture initiatives in their organizations. They slide in easily to this level of leadership — provided their organization respects and honors this approach. Not all do.
For both, transitioning to leadership at the Stage 4 level of power is very uncomfortable. Generally, it's at this point that men and women feel like they have "lost their edge," with men thinking they're going "soft." It's particularly hard for men at this point because the expectations are so hard-wired for them to be more aggressive, more analytical, more bottom line oriented. When men start to question themselves and a greater purpose, it's often unspoken, dismissed and suppressed. Ideas or initiatives that benefitted employees or customers, that in the past were disregarded because they didn't show a direct benefit to the bottom line, may now seem like a good idea — because it's the "right" thing to do.
We have been conditioned to believe that the Stage 3 power of leadership is the be all and end all. Most advertising and media target people at this level. It's the American dream. According to Hagberg, people experience a "crisis" which will precede moving to the next stage of power. The crisis can be personal or professional, but it's like a wake-up call that sends an alarm saying, "You can't continue like this." So, naturally, when a leader experiences the crisis before moving to Stage 4, it is often overwhelming.
Many times, the "crisis" takes the form of a major loss, such as a loss of a parent, spouse or close friend. In Barbara's case, within a 15-month period, her father, who was her role model and confidant, had died. Her kids had gone to college, and she and her husband were empty nesters and learning to get to know each other again. And the dog died. Not surprisingly, it was the loss of the dog that put her over the edge.
She felt like a fish out of water. In fact, having gone through this experience myself, I remember it as feeling like I was a snake shedding its skin.
When a snake sheds its skin, it rubs up against something sharp to help the process of releasing the old skin. Slowly, the snake rubs against a sharp object, slowly slithering out of the dead skin — only to have the raw sensitive skin exposed to the air, while still dragging the dead skin behind, until the process is complete. Gradually the new skin becomes more supple, and the snake can move freely again.
Transformational Leadership
Transformational leadership requires personal change as well — in order to find your true, authentic self, which is where the transformational journey begins. It's uncomfortable to start and, like the snake shedding its skin, we can feel like we're rubbing up against sharp objects. Perhaps we're experiencing resistance to some of our new ideas and suggestions. Or maybe our reactions to people and situations have shifted, and people are uncomfortable with our new approach. Maybe the sharp objects we're rubbing up against are our bosses and organizational practices that seem incongruent to our new direction. During this transition time, we're still raw, experimenting and practicing and then testing our new directions and ideas. Yet, we are still in the old environment and must carry around what seems like the dead weight of the old ways of being until the transition is complete.
During this time, it's like we're hanging on a great divide — not ready to take the leap to the other side but trusting that the net will be there if we fall. And we trust that when we do take the leap, there will be others ready to catch us and welcome us to the big picture of leadership.
And the big picture of leadership requires a transformational shift from Type A to Type T leadership. Just remember — you're not crazy because you no longer can, or want to, be a Type A leader. You're on the path to discovering the higher purpose for your leadership. As you transition to the new model of transformational leadership, you will feel alive, vibrant and happy. People will follow the new you. It's an exciting time. And just remember, it takes courage to cross the divide from traditional, egocentric leadership to true, authentic leadership.
Trust the process and know that you're ready to be Type T!
Let's get started!
CHAPTER 2
Foundational Tools for Transformation
As you embark on your quest for discovery of your higher purpose and more authentic leadership, know that to do so is a step in the direction of improved mental, physical and spiritual health. Perhaps this sounds odd, but consider the impact of the lack of alignment when you feel that who you are is no longer in sync with the person you knew yourself to be.
For years, you probably saw yourself as the hard-driving, Type A, results-oriented leader. Then, with what seemed like a sudden jolt, you felt like you could no longer operate that way. Now, you feel compelled to be more inclusive, more nurturing and sensitive to other people's ideas, situations and feelings. You start to trust your intuition more, and it feels awkward, yet compelling. As you trust your intuition, your responses and choice of words in responding to people seem different but more authentic than ever before. Internally, the voice in your head is saying: How did I think to say that? Where did that come from? That was really great!
First of all, know that this is normal.
Know that you are being drawn to a healthier style of leadership because you are speaking from your heart, not your head. The authentic you is emerging, and it feels good.
The best way to adapt to this shift in integrating your head and your heart is to understand the impact of your thoughts, words and actions on your overall health and well-being. According to scientific studies, your thoughts are vibrational energy because everything is constantly in motion, your thoughts can gain momentum! If you hold a thought for 17 seconds or more, whatever is on that frequency will come back to you. Basically, positive thought energy will attract positive things. Every thought you have has an impact on you, and these thoughts affect your perspective and your subsequent actions. It only makes sense that positive thought energy will attract positive things.
Consider the expressions "birds of a feather flock together" or "likes attract likes." Imagine that your thoughts are like a giant magnet, and whatever you're thinking about, for 17 seconds or more, will be reflected in your life.
I invite you to consider what I call Red Light Days and Green Light Days.
Here's how it works: You wake up, and you think, "Oh, I am so tired today. I don't want to go to work, I just can't deal with all the complaining clients and difficult co-workers ..." Then you drive to work and hit every red light. You get a crummy parking space (in the rain, of course), and when you get to your office, someone tells you two people are out sick. Mid-day, someone asks you, "How's your day going?" to which you respond, "It's started out bad, and it's gone downhill since then." This is definitely a Red Light Day.
Guess what? I hate to tell you this, but you're just getting more of what's on your vibrational frequency. You started out the day focused on not wanting to go to work and deal with difficult people. And with each event after that, the red lights, the parking space, the people being absent from work, you're focused on the negative aspects and all of the same crummy things accumulating, adding to your perception that it's a bad day. In fact, you're merely unconsciously reinforcing that perspective each time you think about how things are going downhill and attracting more of the same. Your negative thoughts gained momentum.
Let's see what happens with a different perspective: You wake up and think "WOW! I must have had a fabulous dream — I can't wait to get to work." You breeze through every green light, you get rockstar parking, and when you walk inside the building, people say "You look Mahhhvelous!" People are returning phone calls, and you're getting all the information you need to complete a project easily and effortlessly. And then, mid-day, a co-worker says, "I'm all caught up with my work; can I help you out today?" This is definitely a Green Light Day!
And it seems that the rest of the day is great. Even if there is a glitch, it's not overwhelming, like on the red light days. The kind of thinking that happens on red light days wears you down — emotionally, physically and mentally. At the end of the day, you'll go home feeling exhausted and like you didn't get anything done.
The green light days, however, are uplifting, productive and fun! You go home at the end of the day feeling energized, happy and alive. You are able to engage with your friends and family and feel more motivated to tackle a project at home or even go for a walk, exercise or get together with friends. You may be wishing that every day could be a green light day. And they can. Because from this point forward, you get to choose, on a moment-by-moment basis, what kind of day you're going to have.
Yes, that's right. You get to choose. In the past, you probably thought you just had to deal with whatever negative circumstance or situation you encountered. Some people may think they are victims of fate or they have a black cloud over their head. It doesn't have to be that way. That person doesn't have to be you.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from From Type A to Type T by Marty Stanley. Copyright © 2015 Marty Stanley. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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