Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother [NOOK Book]


Smart, warm, telling, and funny, Funny, Your Don't Look Like a Grandmother is the perfect bouquet for today's grandmother, that active and interesting woman who is old enough to be somebody's grandmother and young enough to run around the...
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Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother

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Smart, warm, telling, and funny, Funny, Your Don't Look Like a Grandmother is the perfect bouquet for today's grandmother, that active and interesting woman who is old enough to be somebody's grandmother and young enough to run around the world.

Lois Wyse's new book, charmingly illustrated by Lilla Rogers, is a collection of wit and wisdom for today's Nana, Grandma, Goo-Goo, or Gran.

How can you recognize today's grandmother?

Easy, says Wyse.

The grandmother is the one who goes out more and complains less than her daughter. In the spirit of Erma Bombeck and Bill Cosby, Lois Wyse tells loving and amusing stories that illustrate the joys of contemporary grandmothering.

According to Lois Wyse, "A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do."

Contemporary grandmothers and their children and grandchildren will see themselves in these reflections of family life that include everything from how it feels to become a grandmother to gentle advice on parenting and career grandmothers.

Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother is the first nontraditional book about grandmothers who may not look like grandmothers -- but who love as deeply as the generations of grannies who preceded them.

From the Hardcover edition.

A funny yet practical guide to grandmotherhood.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780307803078
  • Publisher: Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony
  • Publication date: 8/3/2011
  • Sold by: Random House
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 112
  • Sales rank: 393,041
  • File size: 3 MB

Meet the Author

Lois Wyse, a successful advertising entrepreneur, is the author of more than 40 books, including Love Poems for the Very Married and Company Manners. She has eight grandchildren.

From the Hardcover edition.
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Read an Excerpt

Chapter One


From the day they tell you the home pregnancy test was positive until the day they tell you the baby is here, you will be allowed to consider the single most complex naming problem you are permitted to solve: what will the new baby call you.

Never mind that the new baby will not call you anything for quite a while. Never mind that even when the baby does talk, the name will be garbled. Still you have to decide what Baby will call you.

It is wise to remember immediately that you will not be asked what to name the baby. Instead the children will ask what you will name yourself for Baby.

You will remind the children that you did not have to rename yourself when they were born. But your children are not listening.

My friend Marianne, my first grandmother contemporary, is called Nana. In our family that name was taken; my mother is Nana, and one Nana is the family limit.

So, faced with the choice of Grandmother or Grandma, I became Grandma. And because I am one of those grandmas whose last name isn't the same as the children's, life was made simple by naming me Grandma Lois. It does offer a kind of permanence that last names no longer do.

Firstborn Stephanie once shortened my name to Mama Lolo, which I like, but her mother (sensing a lack of respect, I guess) moved it back to Grandma Lois.

My grandson Max calls me Mama because he calls his mother Mimi-names he has established by taking the last syllable of Mommy and repeating it for his mom and the last syllable of Grandma and doubling that.

One woman who shuddered perceptibly at the very words grandma or grandmother has decided tobe called Mom's mom. Still another, a midwesterner, is known as Chicago Mommy. An auburn-haired granny is differentiated from the children's other grandmother by the title The Red Grandmother.

My friend Annelle was supposed to be called Grandmama by her English grandson, but his first words to her were "Amama" -now her family name.

My very favorite naming story is about Ed and Ethel, who were called the Jewish names "Zaide" and "Bubbie" by their grandson Josh.

When Josh went to nursery school, he talked continually about his zaide and bubbie. He told of adventures with them, and when show and tell day came, he announced that he would bring in his bubbie and zaide.

When he walked in with Ed and Ethel, his nursery school teacher said, "Who are these people?"

"Bubbie and Zaide," he said proudly.

"But . . . but," she stammered, "I thought they were gerbils."

Copyright ) 1989 by Lois Wyse

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 3 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 23, 2009

    great gift1

    nice to give grandmothers that are a little younger in age and at heart.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 26, 2007

    Grandmothers Can Be Hip

    A wonderful read about how the contemporary grsndmother looks and acts today. Filled with anecdotes that prove grandmothers have come a long way. They love there children and grandchildren just as before, but in a more modern, fresher, and hip way. A great read for all you grandmother's out there.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 14, 2001

    Microwave Apple Pie anyone?

    Today's grandmother is hardly old enough to be a grandmother. We envision grandmothers as those who bake apple pie, spend the day ironing, and are at least 55. These days it is hardly unusual to be a grandmother before you are forty. The contemporary grandmother may in fact drive a red convertible, be so young she doesn't want to hear the word grandmother and may feel as though she perhaps isn't ready to be a grandmother. Lois Wyse offers humorous stories to explain the happy days of being a grandmother in this day and age. This is the perfect gift for a contemporary grandmother as it is filled with a heartwarming collection of wit and wisdom the whole family will enjoy reading. Reflections on 'What will name our grandmother,'.'The secret no grandmother ever tells,' 'On the road with grams,' and many more stories illustrate the joy of being a modern grandmother.

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