Further Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Knocked out by My Nunga-Nungas/Dancing in My Nuddy-Pants

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Overview

I have finally trapped a Sex God. He is mine, miney, mine, mine. There is a song in my heart and do you know what it is? It is that well-known chart topper "Robbie, oh Robbie, I . . . er . . . Lobbie You!!! I Do I Do!!!"

Georgia Nicolson is now the girlfriend of the Sex God (aka Robbie), and everything should be perfect. But whether it's because her loony parents drag her off to Och Aye land (aka Scotland) or because she accidentally snogs old ...

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Overview

I have finally trapped a Sex God. He is mine, miney, mine, mine. There is a song in my heart and do you know what it is? It is that well-known chart topper "Robbie, oh Robbie, I . . . er . . . Lobbie You!!! I Do I Do!!!"

Georgia Nicolson is now the girlfriend of the Sex God (aka Robbie), and everything should be perfect. But whether it's because her loony parents drag her off to Och Aye land (aka Scotland) or because she accidentally snogs old flame Dave the Laugh at a party, Georgia's life never turns out as planned!

In this edition that combines the third and fourth volumes in the hilarious #1 New York Times best-selling series, Georgia may be about to become a shameless vixen! The hysterically funny third and fourth volumes of the best-selling Georgia Nicolson diaries: knocked out by my nunga-nungas and dancing in my nuddy-pants.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780060590079
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 10/12/2004
  • Series: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series
  • Edition description: Adult Edition
  • Pages: 416
  • Age range: 12 - 17 Years
  • Product dimensions: 5.31 (w) x 8.00 (h) x 0.93 (d)

Meet the Author

Louise Rennison is the bestselling and award-winning author of the angst-filled Confessions of Georgia Nicolson. Louise lives in Brighton, the San Francisco of England (apart from the sun, Americans, the Golden Gate Bridge, and earthquakes).

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First Chapter

Further Confessions of Georgia Nicolson (adult edition)

october

return of the loonleader

thursday october 21st

my room



1:00 p.m.

Looking out of my bedroom window, counting my unblessings. Raining. A lot. It's like living fully dressed in a pond.

And I am the prisoner of whatsit.

I have to stay in my room pretending to have tummy lurgy so that Dad will not know I am an ostracized leper banned from Stalag 14 (i.e., suspended from school). I'm not alone in my room, though, because my cat, Angus, is also under house arrest for his love romps with Naomi the Burmese sex kitten.

2:00 p.m.

They'll be doing P.E. now.

I never thought the day would come when I would long to hear Miss Stamp (Sports Oberführer and part-time lesbian) say, "Right, girls, into your P.E. knickers!"

But it has.

3:30 p.m.

All the ace gang will be thinking about the walk home from school. Applying a touch of lippy. A hint of nail polish. Maybe even mascara because it is R.E. and Miss Wilson can't even control her tragic seventies hairdo let alone a class. Rosie said she was going to test Miss Wilson's sanity by giving herself a face mask in class and seeing if Miss Wilson had a nervy spaz.

Jas will be practicing her pouting in case she bumps into Tom.

3:50 p.m.

How come Jas got off with cloakroom duty and I got banned? I am a whatsit . . . a scapethingy.

4:10 p.m.

Robbie the Sex God (MY NEW BOYFRIEND!!! Yesss and three times yesss!!!!!) will be going home now. Walking along in a Sex Goddy sort of way. A walking snogging machine.

4:30 p.m.

Mutti came in. "Right, you can start making your startling recovery now, Georgia."

Oh cheers. Thanks a lot. Good night.

Just because Elvis Attwood, school caretaker from the Planet of the Loons, tripped over his own wheelbarrow (when I told him Jas was on fire), I am banned from school.

Mutti rambled on, although she makes very little sense since Vati got home. "It's your own fault. You antagonize him and now you are paying the price."

Yeah, yeah, rave on.

4:45 p.m.

Phoned Jas.

"Jas."

"Oh hi, Gee."

"Why didn't you phone me?"

"You're phoning me. I would have got the engaged tone."

"Jas, please don't annoy me. I've only been speaking to you for two seconds."

"I'm not annoying you."

"Wrong."

"Well, I've only said about two words to you."

"That's enough."

Silence.

"Jas."

Silence.

"Jas, what are you doing?"

"I'm not annoying you."

She drives me to the brink of madnosity. Still, I really needed to speak to her so I went on, "It's really crap at home. I almost wish I hadn't been banned from school. How was Stalag fourteen? Any goss?"

"No, just the usual. Nauseating P. Green smashed a chair to smithereens and back."

"Really?! Was she fighting with it?"

"No, she was sitting on it having her lunch. It was the jumbo-sized Mars bar that did it. Everyone was killing themselves laughing. The Bummer Twins started singing 'Who ate all the pies' to her, but Slim, our beloved headmistress, heard them and gave us a lecture about mocking the unfortunate."

"Were her chins going all jelloid?"

"Yeah. In fact, it was Chin City."

"Fantastic. Are you all missing me? Did anyone talk about me or anything?"

"No, not really."

Charming. Jas has a lot of good qualities though, qualities you need in a bestest pal. Qualities like, for instance, going out with the brother of a Sex God. I said, "Has Hunky, I mean, Tom, mentioned anything that Robbie has said about me?"

"Erm . . . let me think."

Then there was this slurp-slurp noise.

She was making slurping noises.

"Jas, what are you eating?"

"I'm sucking my pen top so I can think better."

Sacré bloody bleu, I have got le idiot for a pal. Forty-nine centuries of pen sucking later she said, "No, he hasn't said anything."

7:00 p.m.

Why hasn't Robbie mentioned me? Hasn't he got snogging withdrawal?

8:00 p.m.

I can hear Vati singing "If I Ruled the World." Good Lord. I have only just recovered from a very bad bout of pretend lurgy. He has no consideration for others.

8:05 p.m.

The worsterosity of it is that the Loonleader (my vati) has returned from Kiwi-a-gogo land and I thought he would be there for ages. But sadly life was against me and he has returned. Not content with that, he has insisted we all go to Och Aye land to "bond" on a family holiday.

However . . . nananana and who-gives-two-short-flying-pigs'-botties? Because I live in Love Heaven.

Lalalalalalala.

I am the girlfriend of a Sex God!!

8:15 p.m.

The Sex God said I should phone him when I get back from Scotland. But there is a fly in his ointment . . . I am not going to Scotland!!! My plan is this, everyone else goes to Scotland and . . . I don't! Simple enough, I think, for anyone to understand.

operation explain-brilliant-not-going-to-scotland plan to mutti and vati

8:30 p.m.

The olds were slumped in front of the tv canoodling and drinking wine. They are so childish. I had to leave the room in the end because Dad did this really disgusting thing. They were laughing and grappling about on the sofa and they did number five on the snogging scale (open-mouth kissing). Honestly. I mean it. There might even have been a suggestion of six (tongues). Erlack a pongoes!!!! Libby was there as well. Laughing along. It can't be healthy for a toddler to be exposed to porn.

I'm sure other people's parents don't do this sort of thing. In fact, some of my mates are lucky enough to have parents that are split up. I've never really seen Jas's dad. He is usually upstairs or in his shed doing some DIY. He just appears now and again to give Jas her pocket money.

Further Confessions of Georgia Nicolson (adult edition). Copyright © by Louise Rennison. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
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Customer Reviews

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 16, 2005

    omg roll on floor laughing

    Louise Rennison is the ONLY good young adult fiction writer!!!! Its not about spirits or death or pain or anguish, its not depressing and it doesnt have a despret attempt to be funny...its hysterical. i would give all her books a higher raiting if possible she is an excellent writer funny and down to earth something everyone needs today young or old.Shes deffinatly an inspiration especially because i want to be a writer one day. thank you louise i hope you come out with a new georgia experience really soon!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 10, 2005

    WOW

    i used to not like reading but when i read this series i like learned all these new books and these were my FAVORITES i couldnt put any of the books down

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 26, 2005

    It waz good

    This series is more for people who want excitement in their lives. Its about a teenage gurl who lies in london and is really obsessed with boys. She goes to an all gurl school and her 'ace gang' freaks out when they see a boy near. They hurry and put on some lipgloss, mascara and roll UP their skirts. This series is full of adventure also. I recommend this series if u want a good laugh.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 5, 2005

    best book for teens and older

    the series of georgia nicolson is the best series ive ever read. these books are hilarious,not shy, and different from any other teen books.

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