Get Laid or Die Trying: The Field Reports

( 6 )

Overview

In the beginning, there were field reports.

Before there were any books by Neil Strauss or Mystery, before there were pickup boot camps or DVD box sets, pickup existed as a loosely-knit “community” on Internet bulletin boards. There, would-be players shared their field reports, strategies, and results. They compared notes, exchanged critiques, and figured out a body of knowledge that defied everything men had ever been told about getting ...

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Get Laid or Die Trying: The Field Reports

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Overview

In the beginning, there were field reports.

Before there were any books by Neil Strauss or Mystery, before there were pickup boot camps or DVD box sets, pickup existed as a loosely-knit “community” on Internet bulletin boards. There, would-be players shared their field reports, strategies, and results. They compared notes, exchanged critiques, and figured out a body of knowledge that defied everything men had ever been told about getting women—what has since come to be known as game.

The undisputed king of the field report was a player named “jlaix.” This was the handle of Jeff Allen, who would go on to be a founding member of Real Social Dynamics with Tyler Durden and Papa, all of whom play major roles in Neil Strauss’s The Game, the bestselling exposé of the world of pickup artists. In an arena founded on one-upmanship, Jeff Allen did it bigger and better than anyone. Get Laid or Die Trying presents in utterly shameless, hilarious, and graphic detail, Jeffy’s gritty, 100 percent real, and jaw-droppingly astonishing feats of seduction, revealing exactly how one goes about:

• Attracting the girl you want by sleeping with all of her friends
• Getting into the pants of the hottest girl at the party—a total stranger—in less than thirty minutes
• Deflecting last-minute resistance with a single word
• Pulling a chick who is surrounded by ten jealous guys
• Cutting out enormous dudes that could easily pound you to a “fine red mist”
• Getting threesomes as your default extraction
• Having a stable so big you have to trim it down, and other “quality problems”
• Convincing a girl you just met that before you fuck her, she must mow your lawn

Jeff’s tactics produce superhuman results, yet he doesn’t do anything you couldn’t do—now that you’ve seen it done. The worst part? You could have been doing this your whole life.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781451620900
  • Publisher: Gallery Books
  • Publication date: 4/12/2014
  • Pages: 368
  • Sales rank: 1,450,623
  • Product dimensions: 9.00 (w) x 6.00 (h) x 1.20 (d)

Read an Excerpt

And that’s when it happens. I see him there, Tyler, standing before me in the street like obi-wan, smirking at me with his motorcycle jacket and his sunglasses. He says, “DUDE. you KNOW what you have to do. Go to that fuckin’ bar, blow that moron out, pull the girl to Club Jeffy and FUCk HER, man! Eh?! OH MAN!” He brings his hands up, finger guns a-blazin’, nodding wildly.
Yeah, I think, nodding along with him. YEAH. I rise to my feet and take a deep breath, brushing myself off. I turn around and march directly to the Phone Bizzle.
I walk in and sure enough, lisa’s at the end of the bar with the guy. I go to the other end of the bar, order a drink, and pop open a four-set with (what else) THUG LOVIN’, so I’m not just standing there alone like “Follow-Man.” I text message her, “Turn around.”
I see her look at her phone, then she peers around. When she sees me, she shrieks and runs over. “you came!” she sits down and is quite drunk and affectionate. I start rubbing her.
I introduce her to the four girls I’ve been talking to. She buys shots and we start slamming them. I’m busting out CRAZY rapport shit, like getting VERY DEEP and SERIOUS. “I like you for you. you know that, I always have. Just you. you know I care about you, right? You don’t have to put a show on for me, baby. You know that. I’m here for you now, and I’m here for a reason. I don’t know what that is, but I just want to make you feel beautiful, all the time.” BOOM. Makeout.
She’s totally into it, but at the same time she keeps running back and forth between the other guy and me. It’s crazy, she’s literally going from one end of the bar to the other every five minutes. I phase-shift and we start making out. Yet she still goes back over to the dude.
She comes back to me as the bar closes down, saying, “I don’t know who I’m going to go home with!”
I tell her, “let’s cuddle, I have whiskey dick anyway, nothing will happen. Besides . . . you KNOW I’m cooler than that dode.” This might sound like I was qualifying myself, but it wasn’t really the case, since the statement was in actuality glaringly obvious. I mean, fuck, dude . . . I’m jlaix.
She says, “yes!” as the lights come up, but that dude is still there with his friend, waiting.
Janet’s been standing there the whole time, and now she says, “This is fucking scandalous, Jeff. what happens now?”
I turn to her and say, “What happens now? Tug-of-war. Pay attention Janet, we’re playin’ the game!” Indeed.
We go outside, the guy and I look at each other, sizing each other up. we both know what the fuck is happening here. Heheh! Here we go, fucker! We all start walking toward Janet’s car. Lisa is walking with the other guy, hand in hand. I know I have to do something. What that is, however, I have no idea. Somebody starts talking about nicknames, and Lisa says, “What’s my nickname?!!”
Before anyone can answer, I blurt out, “Drunken slut!”
Everybody goes, “OHHHH!!! DAMN!!” Lisa shrieks, runs over to me and starts pawing at me. Yes. I put my arm around her, and put her on my back for a piggyback ride.
She announces to the group, “all right! I’m going home with JEFFY!!!”
YES.
We get to the car and the girls start making calls looking for drugs. I walk over to the guy and his friend and ask, “What’s your name, man?” He tells me it’s John. I shake his hand and say, “Good game, man.”
He just laughs and says, “Yeah, you won.” I talk with them for a bit; they are actually pretty cool. Tall, good-looking guys with no game.

© 2011 Real Social Dynamics

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 6 )
Rating Distribution

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Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 7, 2013

    i read this in a couple sittings. easily one of the most inspiri

    i read this in a couple sittings. easily one of the most inspiring books but its true. he decides to become a ladies man ...and does it! its a record of his growth from a**hole to motivational speaker. it doesnt teach you like mystery's book does but this book is the inspiration that mystery's book lacks. highly recommended for frustrated males! great success story to spark your loins into action and put a smile on your face!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 11, 2011

    amusing

    this is like a crazy guy's rampage through women's vaginas. get's exciting and wild after a while.
    good book for young men. shows them the endless possibilities for dedicated ones.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted August 16, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    I loved it!

    Guy gets heart broken, becomes a douche bag towards mankind, and takes it out on women which the women like it, then he realizes he's pathetic and goes through a total inner and outer transformation. I got inspired by that transformation at the end of the book. Just loved the ending. Also, I have friends like him and they treat women like s**t and again, women like it! LOL

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  • Posted March 30, 2011

    DON'T PURCHASE IT!!! AN EXAMPLE OF A FALLEN WORLD!

    This is just another example of some very lost people. Please save yourselvs, your children, as well as the females. This book encourages you to cheat and use deception against females. it creates a picture that they are to be used and then tossed away for the next victim. This is a stomach turing book that must be removed from all Barnes and Noble Stores, as well as from their on-line site. I ask you one question, if your daughter's boyfriend purchased this book and used the information to have physical relations with your daughter, would you agree? This is a total disrespect to females as well as males; infact, it is total disrespect for created life. God Please Forgive Us!

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 30, 2011

    f ing amazing!!!!

    this book totally inspired me, quotes from Jeffy like "Moments that define you are not those when you're lording in the club, but rather when you are on your knees, broken, your mouth filled with blood and you want to give up" or "Only through massive repetition of social interaction will I be able to cultivate a noticeable improved level of social interactions" This book gave me hope, enabled me to survive very dark periods in my life and made me aware that there is no magic pill but smart work and it is possible to improve with baby steps- one step at a time my life, even if it is sh..t at the moment. It gave me hope. Thank you Jeffy!!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 17, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

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