Get Me Out of Here!: Exit Strategies for All Occasions

Overview

Have you ever been stuck with a bore at a party? Bumped into your ex-husband with his new girlfriend? Suffered through a long car trip with your boss? Gotten sucked into attending your friend’s foreign wedding? You’ll have better luck next time escaping at the last minute or avoiding the situation entirely once you’ve mastered David Jacobson’s hilarious and ingenious techniques for finding the trap door in any social quagmire. Get Me Out of Here! provides expert advice and killer lines that really work, whether ...

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Overview

Have you ever been stuck with a bore at a party? Bumped into your ex-husband with his new girlfriend? Suffered through a long car trip with your boss? Gotten sucked into attending your friend’s foreign wedding? You’ll have better luck next time escaping at the last minute or avoiding the situation entirely once you’ve mastered David Jacobson’s hilarious and ingenious techniques for finding the trap door in any social quagmire. Get Me Out of Here! provides expert advice and killer lines that really work, whether you’re trying to avoid making small talk on a bus or desperate to leave your own party early. Every conceivable life scenario is anticipated here and addressed, from avoiding a landlord to evading your in-laws. With dozens of detailed illustrations, this entertaining reference gives step-by-step guidance on how to extricate yourself from almost any delicate situation.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780762429165
  • Publisher: Running Press Book Publishers
  • Publication date: 3/12/2007
  • Pages: 128
  • Product dimensions: 7.40 (w) x 5.40 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Meet the Author

David Jacobson is a humorist and journalist who has co-written Esquire’s “Dubious Achievement Awards,” as well as Business 2.01’s “101 Dumbest Moments in Business” and “Hits & Misses.” He wrote the funny stuff in The Rules: A Man’s Guide to Life, was a consulting editor for Maxim and Details, and has written for Life, Salon, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, and many others. Before giving up employee dental coverage, Jacobson was a staff feature writer for The Detroit News and The Hartford Courant. He lives in San Francisco, CA.

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Table of Contents


Introduction     8
Avoidance is Better than Cure
Avoiding Small Talk on Mass Transit     14
Avoiding Attending a Friend's Play     18
Avoiding Giving Feedback on Someone's Magnum Opus     20
Avoiding Family Gatherings     22
Avoiding Public Speaking     24
Avoiding Becoming a Godparent     27
Avoiding Meetings at Work     28
Avoiding Living Together     32
Avoiding Dinner Party Invitations     34
Avoiding Getting Up and Dancing     36
Avoiding Giving Advice     40
Avoiding Helping Someone Move     42
Avoiding Getting a Speeding Ticket     44
Avoiding Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties and Overseas Weddings     47
Avoiding Being Reached     48
Avoiding Expensive Restaurant Meals     51
Avoiding Viewing Holiday Snaps     52
Avoiding Getting Married     54
The Art of Extrication or How to Say "Gotta Go Now"
Escaping from a Blind Date     60
Escaping from Your Job     66
Escaping the Office Holiday Party     68
Escaping from a Teary Friend     70
Escaping Being Dumped     73
Escaping Unwanted Advances     74
Escaping Public Displays of Affection     79
Escaping Work Assignments     82
Escaping from a Fight     84
Escaping the Aftermath of Drunken Behavior     88
Escaping from an Orgy     91
Escaping the Scene of a One-Night Stand     92
Escaping from Unwanted Houseguests     96
Escaping from a Dismal Party     98
Escaping from Plant and Pet Care, House-sitting, and/or Babysitting     101
Escaping the Party Bore     104
Escaping from a Romantic Relationship     108
Escaping Unwanted House-Callers     112
Escaping Doing Housework     116
Escaping Volunteer Work     118
Escaping the Dreary Monotony of Everyday Life     120
Escaping Your Own Funeral     123
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