Getting Beyond Bullying and Exclusion, PreK-5: Empowering Children in Inclusive Classrooms

by Ronald Mah

Overview

Children with challenges can encounter difficulties in navigating their journeys within inclusive classrooms. This book focuses on the vulnerabilities of youngsters to be bullied, especially those with learning disabilities, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, Asperger syndrome, and gifted abilities, and also discusses why these children sometimes become bullies themselves.

Getting Beyond Bullying and Exclusion, PreK-5 deepens teachers' understanding of common challenges and provides an intimate and realistic view of how children with special needs can become easy targets for bullies. The book also shows how adults can inadvertently facilitate development of victim behavior in children or contribute to the development of bully personalities. With an abundance of tried-and-true techniques for helping children manage emotions and build on their strengths, this book examines

Bullying styles, including classic male and female models

How teachers can prevent and stop bullying

Methods for intervening early before a negative dynamic progresses into middle or high school

Strategies for working with overprotective parents

A "Ninety-Second-a-Day Self-Esteem Prescription Plan" to improve children's self-views

Ideal for both teachers and counselors, this book increases the sensitivity and expertise that educators need to help children with special needs become more resilient and experience success at school.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781620878781
Publisher:	Skyhorse
Publication date:	04/09/2013
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	152
Product dimensions:	6.90(w) x 9.90(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Ronald Mah, an educator and licensed marriage and family therapist, has worked in early childhood education for 16 years. A credentialed elementary and secondary teacher, he is the author of Difficult Behavior in Early Childhood and The One-Minute Temper Tantrum Solution (2006 and 2008, Corwin Press). He wrote the Asian Pacific Islander Parent Education Support curriculum (DHS-San Francisco, 1996). Mah has DVDs on child development and behavior (Fixed Earth Films), and has been involved in community and high school mental health clinics, severe emotional disturbance, at-risk youth, welfare-to-work, and Head Start programs. A graduate college instructor and Board of Directors member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and of the California Kindergarten Association, Mah combines concepts, principles, and philosophy with practical techniques and guidelines for effective and productive results. Mah has a psychotherapy practice in San Leandro, California where he works with children, teens, adults, couples, and families.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments viii

About the Author x

Introduction 1

Inclusion Means... 1

Inclusion Means More 3

Inclusion Means Less 4

Educational Challenge 4

Exclusion...and Bullying 5

Compromising the Intent of Inclusion 6

Continuums or Labels 7

Three Perspectives 8

1 Inclusion, Exclusion, and Bullying 10

The Chicken Spends Its Whole Life... 10

The Hawk Spends Its Whole Life... 12

Anxious Vulnerability 14

Please Please Please... 15

The Loud Aggressive "Victim" Becomes a Bully 18

Victim Entitlement to Bully and Intellectual Bullying 19

Classification Creates Targets for Exclusion 20

2 The Stress, Frustrate, Fail, Suffer Method and Emotional Intelligence 22

The Real World 22

The First S Is for Stress-Stress 'Em! 24

The First F Is for Frustration-Frustrate 'Em! 24

F Is for Failure-Let 'Em Fail! (Make Sure They Fail!) 25

The Second S Is for Suffer-Let 'Em Suffer! 26

Emotional Intelligence 26

3 Creating Powerful and Successful Children 32

Win So He Would Throw a Tantrum 32

The Next SS Is for Sensitivity and Support 34

The Next SS Is for Skills and Strength 35

SF Is for Survive and Flourish 39

4 Social Cues 44

Who Is This Kid? 44

Reasons Individuals Don't Get It! 51

5 Reasons for Missing Social Cues 54

Physical Disability-Compensation (No. 2 of 11): "What? Huh?" 54

Cross-Cultural Issues-Cross-Cultural Education (No. 3 of 11): "So that's what you mean!" 55

Overstimulation-De-Stress (No. 4 of 11): "I'm tired. I don' wanna have fun!" 56

Denial-Alleviate Fear (No. 5 of 11): "Nah, nah, nah!" 57

Anxiety-Stabilize and Secure (No. 6 of 11): "What? Where? Watch out? Where? Now? Oh no!" 58

Neurosis-Reality Filter orCheck (No. 7 of 11): "That was then, and this is then." 59

Disassociation-Trauma Work (No. 8 of 11): "Click... This station is no longer broadcasting...or receiving." 61

Learning Disabilities-Compensation (No. 9 of 11): "Trying hard, harder, and harder..." 62

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (and Attention Deficit Disorder)-Focus (No. 10 of 11): "Attention wanders..." 63

Intoxication and Substance Abuse-Sobriety (No. 11 of 11): "Common adverse effects..." 64

6 The Victim Dynamic 67

Why Do You Pick Up Crying Babies? 67

Victimized by Victims 69

Reversing the Dual Theory of Frailty 70

How Victims Are Created 70

7 Creating Bullies 74

A Blustering, Browbeating Person 74

Bullies, Aggression, and the Search for Self-Esteem 75

"Who Are You Looking At!?" 77

"Huh? What?" 78

8 Relational Aggression 83

"You Can't Come to My Birthday Party" 83

What Do You Mean..."We?" 86

9 Frustration to Resentment to Aggression 90

Lost Self-Esteem 90

Bullies With Learning Disabilities 91

Bullies With ADHD 93

10 Arrogance and Entitlement 99

Bullies With Asperger Syndrome 99

Bullies With Gifted Abilities 105

11 Motivation and Survival 112

Adult Stress, Frustration, Failure (and Suffering) 112

"Or Else What?" 113

Internalized Motivation 114

Cultural Characteristics of Children With Challenges 117

Conclusion 123

The Ninety-Second-a-Day Self-Esteem Prescription Plan 123

A Last Thought 128

References 130

Index 135

Editorial Reviews

"I have been a therapist working primarily with children for more than 20 years, and I'm grateful to see issues about bullying given serious attention. The subtle and often devastating effects of children’s abusive behavior to one another can have enormous ramifications, yet for too long even professional adults have dismissed much of this behavior as being 'normal.' I am glad to see the research and detail that has gone into this book. All bullying needs to be monitored and addressed so children are able to see how their behavior affects others, learn new strategies to interact with peers, and get their needs met in healthier ways.

Kim Meinke

This is the first text I've read that connected specific disabilities to bullying. The material is informative, relevant, and thought-provoking. A useful tool in understanding the evolution of a bully and the necessity of early, appropriate intervention.

Karen Thomes

An honest and thought-provoking discussion exploring ways we can teach and support children to help them develop into capable learners and caring humans. Mah provides straight talk on how inclusion provides benefits but also many hurdles. To be truly inclusive, we have to recognize differences rather than ignore them, while teaching our students to develop better problem-solving and coping skills through strong adult support and reframing their experiences. Whether the victim or bully, all students need a better adult-supported framework for learning to work with their peers. "

Michelle Garcia Winner

What wonderful insight Mah has into the workings of classrooms. This book applies to all children. This is a valuable read for both parents and teachers. I have been in education for over thirty years and found this book very beneficial. I loved the 90-Second-a-Day Self-Esteem Prescription Plan. Thank you!

Kathy Gallagher