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Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted [NOOK Book]
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Known for her psychologically perceptive relationship books, Sills (Excess Baggage) turns her attention to dating for women of a certain age, particularly those recently out of long marriages. The author advises older women how to get back "out there" and how to contend with the anxiety that can ensue after a long period of celibacy. While Sills addresses the ugly truths that older women have to work harder than men to find eligible partners, she argues that courtship, companionship and sex are all available, especially if women remain "open to a wide variety of partners who are not necessarily prospects for love. They are practice, stimulation, and possibly even pleasant company." Sills's clinical psychology background comes to the fore when she dissects the scenario of a suddenly single woman who has been used to socializing with a group of couples but now may be perceived as a threat by other women, or an opportunity by the men, suggesting behavioral strategies for keeping boundaries clear. Sills also addresses transitional relationships, the heartbreak of rejection or of premature attachment to a new partner and includes welcome male perspectives. (Feb.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.Courting again as an over-50 retread raises psychosocial and sometimes physical challenges. Sills (Biting the Apple: Women Getting Wise About Love) focuses on the psychosocial for both women and men readers. Internally, one must permit a change in identity, from attached and not looking to alone and looking. Externally, one must play a no-longer-familiar game again but now with different rules. Clinical psychologist Sills has logged 35 years of interpersonal insight, and it shows in warm and witty advice that's simultaneously protective and permissive. Also, she talked to 100 newly dating singles aged 50 to 80, and her quotations from the field are apt and memorable. Sills is a superb writer and a real pleasure to read. The only drawback is the lack of a resource section. For example, she gives no information about aging and sexuality regarding biology or techniques. That's fine-other books do-but she should suggest some, like Robert Butler and Myrna Lewis's classic, The New Love and Sex After 60, which all public libraries should have. Sills's book is recommended for public libraries.
—Martha Cornog
Part I Personal Evolution
Chapter 1 Reentry or Would I Sleep with Eisenhower? 3
Chapter 2 You Bleed or You Thaw 15
Chapter 3 Turning Single 41
Chapter 4 Getting Your Head in the Game 59
Part II Interpersonal Expertise
Chapter 5 Act 1: They Meet 107
Chapter 6 Other Women and Their Husbands 143
Chapter 7 Conversation, Sex, and Money 161
Chapter 8 Sexual Mentors, Palate Cleansers, and Other Transitional Relationships 209
Chapter 9 Grail 261
Author's Note 273
Sources 275
About The Author 277
Anonymous
Posted April 8, 2011
This book is geared toward women mid-forties and older. The title is intriguing, whether it attracts you or puts you off. If you find it a bit off-putting, don't let it scare you away. The book is about much more than Getting Naked. I am forever indebted to the friend who recommended it to me when I got divorced. I had been married for 28 years and the idea of dating, much less getting naked, seemed beyond my thought processes. I was looking forward to being blissfully single and, to borrow a phrase from the author, sitting this one out, indefinitely. Then a nice man asked me out on a date and I found myself doing a blitz read. The shelves are full of books that tell you NOT to date, taking time to get to know yourself, learning how to be single, and figuring out what you want. This author points out that one way to get to know yourself, learn to be single, and figure out what you want is by taking some risk and being open to new experiences. A great read.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Posted February 17, 2009
I Also Recommend:
Initally, it was the title of this book that drew me to it. I mean, who doesn't want that? However, it may seem offputting to some, but I found the whole book to be a refreshing take on the dating scene. The author mostly addresses older women who are just now getting back out there. But I think any woman who wants to know more and date better can benefit from this one.
1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
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Posted December 19, 2009
It is a cute book, full of humor, guidance, and frankness. I would recommend it for the middleagers for sure.
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Posted March 31, 2009
I Also Recommend:
A life-line of honesty, humor, humanity, and heart; filled with healing insights that are timeless and universal... this author's gift to her readers lives beyond the reading where, in one's life, the benefit of her wisdom and humor can serve to enhance the choices to be made and the relationships that are possible as a result.
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Posted October 5, 2011
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Overview
You are divorced, you're widowed, or maybe you've just been busy with other things. Lately though you might be ready (are you?) to meet (but where, and how?) another romantic partner. In GETTING NAKED AGAIN, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Judith Sills, PhD, leads readers through each stage of the process, offering sophisticated advice and sharing insightful stories about women like you, who have experienced relationship loss and are successfully pursuing new romance. In this book, Sills offers a frank, funny, and unusually savvy look at midlife dating- including smart sexual strategies, predictable new relationship patterns, financial manuvering, and interpersonal finesse. Be prepared: This is ...