| Introduction: The New Rules of the Game | 1 |
| How the laws are hurting women | |
| What you can do to protect yourself and your children | |
| How to get the most out of this book | |
| 1 | The Right Lawyer for You | 7 |
| How to find, question, and pick an attorney | |
| Eight kinds of lawyers to avoid | |
| Should you choose a man or woman? | |
| The "toughness" factor | |
| How divorce lawyers feel about women as clients | |
| What your divorce will cost | |
| How to make sure you don't overpay | |
| Your rights as a client | |
| 2 | Your Husband Is No Longer Your Partner | 23 |
| Overcoming the "Trust Me" Syndrome | |
| How to protect yourself: what to do about joint accounts, credit cards, safe-deposit boxes | |
| The dangers of moving out or locking him out | |
| Should you sleep in the same bedroom? | |
| How to deal with threats and pressure | |
| 3 | The Opening Legal Moves | 32 |
| How your lawyer will start a divorce action | |
| What happens if your husband resists? | |
| Steps your lawyer can take to get you temporary support, shield you from abuse, keep your husband from hiding the family money | |
| How to protect yourself if you are having an affair | |
| Can you hold on to a husband who wants to leave? | |
| Will your lawyer pressure you to go through with a divorce? | |
| 4 | Old-Fashioned Detective Work and Space-Age Accounting | 44 |
| What wives don't know about the family money | |
| The records your lawyer needs and how to get them | |
| The "discovery" process to uncover hidden assets and income | |
| What if everything is in his name? | |
| The surprising property you are entitled to--if you can find it | |
| The importance of pinning down the value of what you own | |
| How to get your share of his pension | |
| 5 | The "Passages" of Divorce | 57 |
| Why your friends' divorces are no guide to your own | |
| The special needs of and strategies for: The young woman with a brief marriage | |
| The young mother of pre-school children | |
| The working woman with school-age children | |
| The full-time housewife with children still at home | |
| The woman with grown children who has worked throughout her marriage | |
| The older homemaker who has not held a paying job during her marriage | |
| 6 | "Isn't He Going to Pay for What He Did?" | 70 |
| What "no-fault laws" really mean | |
| Does it matter who ends the marriage and why? | |
| How to stop being bullied | |
| The best way to punish an unfaithful husband | |
| Dealing with his wounded pride when you have found someone else | |
| How to win a judge's sympathy | |
| 7 | Negotiating to Get What You Deserve | 80 |
| The unexpected problems that come up in a "reasonable" agreement | |
| How your lawyer can use leverage to get you what you want | |
| Ways women undermine their bargaining position | |
| Your role in the negotiations | |
| Taking advantage of a husband's blind spots | |
| When and how to settle | |
| A sure way to test your doubts about a proposed agreement | |
| 8 | How to Protect Your Children Psychologically | 99 |
| The problem of "custody blackmail" | |
| How parents use their children as weapons | |
| What you can do to prevent a court contest | |
| The difference between legal custody and where children live | |
| How judges decide when both parents want custody | |
| What you must do at a trial | |
| Will the children have to testify? | |
| Five questions to answer before you agree to joint custody | |
| Your husband's and your in-laws' visitation rights | |
| 9 | How to Protect Your Children Financially | 112 |
| The new state guidelines for child support and what they do | |
| How to calculate your child-care costs | |
| Ways to guarantee that he will pay | |
| The expenses to anticipate and how to provide for them in an agreement | |
| The best way to prevent future arguments over support and visitation | |
| 10 | Going to Trial | 123 |
| If your lawyer recommends against a trial, should you get a new lawyer? | |
| What it takes to change a judge's mind | |
| A step-by-step guide to preparing for a trial | |
| How to be your own best witness | |
| The art of coping with cross-examination | |
| When your lawyer can denounce your husband | |
| The judge's decision | |
| Your lawyer's last-minute chance to gain advantages for you | |
| 11 | It's Over--Isn't It? | 145 |
| The emotional aftermath of divorce | |
| A checklist of legal and financial steps to starting your single life | |
| What to do about managing your money | |
| Where to get help with the psychological scars of divorce | |
| How to handle the post-divorce legal problems that come up | |
| The rewards of making peace with your former husband | |
| 12 | What Every Happily Married Woman Must Know About Divorce | 155 |
| The lessons of divorce | |
| How the no-fault laws have changed the marriage contract | |
| What wives can do to protect themselves without hurting their husbands | |
| The question of pre-nuptial and post-nuptial contracts | |
| Changing the laws to give women better protection | |
| Appendix A | The Legal Steps in Divorce | 167 |
| Appendix B | State-by-State Laws | 173 |
| Acknowledgments | 176 |
| Index | 177 |
