As wondrous and heartwrenching as I anticipated
I knew of Neil's personal tragedies long before having read this book, but I still desired to see what lay in his mind during the healing process. I was fortunate to purchase both books at the May, 2002 Rush show at Riverbend Music Center (Cincinnati), but I was already in the midst of another large book series at the time, so I didn't read either of Neil's 'til January, 2003. I first read Masked Rider as more of a prelude, and found it enjoyable - I felt I was on the bike with the troupe through their trials in the African heat. Thus, I was incredibly excited to begin Ghost Rider.
As I began Ghost Rider, I again became immersed in Neil's world, reliving the horrible day when the police officer came to the door to deliver the news about Selena. I felt both Jackie's subsequent hopelessness and Neil's helplessness, and I gained more appreciation for the lyrics to the song 'Ghost Rider' as he told of Jackie's passing. I can sympathize with his need to just get away, and applaud his desire to 'keep moving' to avoid falling into a pit of despair, drink, and drugs. I could see how confused he was and I identify with that need for space, for the walls and memories in that house would have otherwise closed in on him. I think I would have had to get out as well, and as someone who is something of a loner, I would have been 'shouldering that invisible load' myself, thinking no one could help me through it but myself.
I used to live out west, so I selfishly took in the landscapes as he described them and wished I could be there, though not with the same motivation. I am glad, though, to see he brought some educational materials with him (the book on birds) in order to continue his self-education - I know others who foolishly ridicule him for being a high-school dropout, but his writing makes it clear that the lack of a diploma has been no hindrance to him. I think such self-reliance helped through his travails, and I'm not sure I know anyone who would have the fortitude to travel 55,000 miles to find healing. Most might just wallow in self-pity instead.
This is a wonderfully written book. I can see how the short-sighted might find his numerous letters a bit cumbersome, but these were the letters he sent to many people, and he wanted to credit each and every one of them for being there for him, even though they may have only been there to 'listen.' Of course many of them would contain the same information, but they were all different in subtle ways. He wrote the letters and this book as if he had nothing to hide, for the best way to heal was to be fully open with his feelings.
As a fan of Rush, I am naturally glad he found someone and was able to resume his drumming. Now, however, I realize how close we all came to not having that anymore, and their music has more value to me, and not just because of my own selfish desires for more quality music in a time devoid of it. It's because of the inner strengths of the men involved in the band Rush, especially the drumming 'ghost' who seems to be once again whole. And as when I listen to a Rush album, I was saddened to finish Ghost Rider, and I cannot wait to enjoy it again.
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