The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence / Edition 1

The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence / Edition 1

4.6 80
by Gavin de Becker

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ISBN-10: 0316235024

ISBN-13: 9780316235020

Pub. Date: 04/16/2008

Publisher: Hachette Book Group

True fear is often a signal that can save your life. Are you listening?

  • The baby-sitter you've just hired makes you uneasy—what should you do?
  • You sense you are being followed —do you confront the stranger...or run?
  • A fired employee says "You'll be sorry"—should you take him seriously?
  • A person in the elevator


True fear is often a signal that can save your life. Are you listening?

  • The baby-sitter you've just hired makes you uneasy—what should you do?
  • You sense you are being followed —do you confront the stranger...or run?
  • A fired employee says "You'll be sorry"—should you take him seriously?
  • A person in the elevator you are about to enter just doesn't look right—do you wait for the next car?

A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust—and act on—our gut instincts.

In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger—before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.

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Hachette Book Group
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6.10(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.10(d)

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Gift of Fear 4.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 80 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I was writing a research paper when I first picked up this book. I wasn't planning to read all of it, just support some of my conclusions. The paper was almost late because I couldn't put the book down once I started! When I was a small child, I naturally followed my instincts (that's what small children do), but I started ignoring them as I got older. I felt the need to be polite and not upset the other person. This book reminded me that being polite at an inappropriate time can have serious consequenses. I started paying attention to what my subconscious (instinct) wanted me to do. To quote a book I read once upon a time, 'If you're feeling fear, something is really really wrong.'
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
My professor at my college suggested my whole class read this book. He has been a policeman in NJ and VA, so I was very interested. I have a BA in Criminology and I can sincerely say, this is one of the most important crime books you will read. It does not blame men or women for crime; it merely suggests steps to avoid situations you may have previously overlooked as putting yourself in a risky position. I know men AND women who have enjoyed reading this book. Great read particularly if you live by yourself!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I have always said that there is nothing stronger than your own feelings. This book underlines that message. If you have a gut feeling that something just isn't right, it usually isn't. This book is a must for any woman. Oprah Winfrey has featured many books on her show and each one has always been the greatest thing you could ever read, but this one is the truth. I also recommend R.A. Clark's "When God Stopped Keeping Score." If you ever have been challenged by your past, guilt or anger, this is a must read.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
As a woman,mother,registered nurse I found this book to be very informative. Don't apologize for refusing to get on a elevator if you feel unsafe, know that 18 calls a day does not show devotion, it IS stalking and you are right to feel nervous. I will have my daughter read this book before she leaves for college.Not to make her scared but to help her be aware her "gut" feelings should be trusted!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I bought this book many years ago when he was on Oprah and I can't count how many times I've recommended it since then. It provides great insight into the behavior and mindset of harassers, stalkers and the like. The book provides advise on how to deal with these situations. I highly recommend it.
KLH622 More than 1 year ago
Listening to your intuition is the key to your safety. De Becker reveals real life stories from his clients - the FBI, celebrities and people like you and I - to reveal that life-threatening danger will be something we all encounter. He explains what to do when you know something bad is going to happen even though you think you don't have a solid reason why you know; how to deal with danger when it's staring you in the face; and how to avoid it. Sayin 'no' is more than okay, it saved my life and it can do the same for you. Compelling - this book will have you gasping out loud! It's undoubtedly great for every woman, no matter her age or at what point she's at in her life. I especially recommend it to all single woman and those in college. The Gift of Fear truely can save your life.
Of_Books_and_Birds More than 1 year ago
This book was excellent. It is well-written and precise. You can learn to be safe without become a worry-wart. Be prepared, listen to your intuition and you will be as safe as you can be.
JessLucy More than 1 year ago
This is a truly fascinating and engrossing book. The author gives a lot of useful and informative advice for everyday life. The examples he cites are terrifying and all-too true. I borrow this book to everyone I know; the issues covered are so important. This book was recommended to me and I'm so glad I read it! A must-read for everyone (women in particular), this book is very empowering in that it teaches us how to listen to our "gut" reactions and instincts during potentially violent situations. One message in particular has always stuck with me; the fact that women are generally too polite to be rude to a man that they are having sketchy feelings about. Please read this book!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was excellent, a truely excellent read. As someone who works with the public in a law enforcement setting this book prepared me to pick up on signals and clues that we see' every day but do not pay much mind to. It also makes you reflect upon previous experiences and makes you realize how you could have been is more danger than you realized. Living in a smaller town where most people don't lock their doors and trust a stranger who seems a little 'too' helpful... I have learned to trust my instinct and for signs to look for and pick up on that can really clue you in to someones true intentions. After only reading the 1st few pages I was hooked, and I am not generally an avid reader aside from required college textbooks.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I picked up this book a few years ago and have revisited it several times now. It's an amazing and potentially life-saving book. I gave copies of it to all my sisters and my girlfriend. Trust your instinct. And read this book. You'll be glad you did.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
My daughter's friend just recently told me that I had given The Gilft of Fear to her and my daughter to read. She told that it changed the way she looked at things. All these years later and it has been many years she still uses the wisdom from that book. How many books have a legacy of this magnitude
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I reread it every year......buying for all my female business clients this year. Gavin is the best.....and I am delighted to be his aunt too.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I have 4 children, as soon as they turn 13, I start to tell them about the book & then I have them read it. Some parts may be a little scary, but it teaches them how to use what they already have! I can't say enough about how much this can change your life! This should be a must for all law enforcement!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Cost, description, and shipping were all exceptional. Thank you.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I was sexually abused from the ages of 11-17(I lived in the Middle East at the time),once back in the States I was raped at the age of 19 by someone who was a family friend,at 20 I married my daughter's father who was an abuser and I stayed for 5 years just taking it,so when I met a man who seemed too good to be true at 26 I suppressed any and all doubts I had about him. My family loved him,he had 19 years in the NAVY and would retire when he had 20 years,he had full custody of his then 4 year old daughter,he treated my daughter well.......but he also never left my side while we were dating. He started talking marriage 3 weeks into the relationship,he never had his daughter with him she was always at his mother's,he bought me a cell phone 2 weeks into our relationship with a gold necklace stating that he go me the necklace so I would not think the phone was a way for him to keep tabs on me,4 weeks in he bought an engagement ring,if I would not answer the house phone or cell phone he would drive an hour to my house to see why,if I made plans to be with friends or to be with my daughter he would show up at my house to make sure I would not be able to go out as planned. I tried to break up with him many times but everytime he would come to my house(I lived with my mom due to the fact I have 2 autoimmune diseases and had been in and out of the hospital and had had roughly 11 surgeries over 18 months) crying and begging my mom to speak with me and that he just loved me so much. He was able to manipulate my family into thinking he was this great guy who just really loved me and wanted the best for me and my family would tell me my gut feelings were wrong and that he really loved me. When I finally told him I was leaving he lost it and for 5 hours he held me and my daughter inside the house cutting the phone line and taking my cell phone apart so we could not get help and he beat me leaving me with a concussion and then going after my then six year old daughter when I could not protect her. I wish so much that I had read this book before I met him. I wish my mother had read this book before I met him. It is a wonderful book and I will never ignore my gut feelings again. It teaches you to pick up things that you might not have ever thought about needing to pick up on,it teaches you about the ways people try to manipulate you into thinking a certain way about them,and it teaches you to pick up on the body signals that people give off that would allow you to pick up on them not being up to any good. The information in this book is invaluable!
thinkink More than 1 year ago
The Gift Of Fear is a wonderful way to insure yourself that what you feel is so very important. Gavin will tell you that animals, although less intellegent, will use the all important sense of fear that many times will save thier lives...but humans fail to listen to what thier bodies tell them. The American statistics are astounding...very good information!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you learn only one thing -- you will be safer. How can you put a price on that! Excellent book. Easy reading!!
truthname More than 1 year ago
This book provides valuable insights into trusting your instincts in ways that could save your life. When so much emphasis is placed on the logical and concrete today, it's eye-opening to realize that we have a sixth sense about people and that we indeed should pay attention to that tiny voice and yes, even cultivate it. De Becker provides excellent examples that make the truth of his words jump from the pages. Further, he provides very practical step-by-step guides to evaluating situations. It's a must-read for every female in particular, but also very valuable for men. In fact, a male friend recommended it to me. This book is a keeper that I'm certain I'll refer back to again and again.
Lily_Claire More than 1 year ago
This is a valuable read for any woman. The majority of the advice in the book is valuable common sense that most people (women) ignore. We all know that getting into an elevator, alone, with a man that you get a bad feeling from is not a smart move. But women do things like that anyway for fear of insulting people. This book points out the obvious (yet often ignored) facts: If you have to step on a few toes to feel safe, do so, even if it's a little embarrassing.
"The Gift of Fear" is a wake-up call to women (and men) everywhere to listen to your instincts, keep your eyes open, and really think about the little things we can do to keep ourselves safe. The author, Gavin de Becker, says over and over that violence is predictable as long as we know the signs, and we're paying attention. He's absolutely right.
I have recommended this book to all my friends. The writing style isn't Charlotte Bronte, but it's still an enjoyable read. Very touching, very interesting. An excellent resource.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The Gift of Fear is the most brilliant book about self defense I've ever read. I could've avoided some unpleasent experiences if I had learned to trust my gift of fear. The premise of the book is to learn to trust one's instincts. Debecker also does a good job delineating the difference between true fear and worry. He wisely states that we are less mindful when we are worried about things that are not happening. He also does a good job explaining red flags such as forced teaming and the unsolicited promise. Debecker does a good job exploring the psychology of predators. This book is a must read for anyone who works with victims of domestic violence.
Anonymous 6 months ago
Have you ever thought about what might happen if you were caught in a dangerous situation? How you might react, and how well you would perform under pressure? Do you have a daughter and do you want her to be aware of potential danger that may come her way? If so this is the book for you! Gavin De Becker wrote just that, he is the nation’s best known expert on the prediction and management of danger and violence. The information that he gives in, The Gift of Fear, could one day save your life. I really enjoyed this book and the message that he shared. It contained parts that read slower, but when he shared his personal experiences and stories from others, it made up for it. We all face danger in our lives and since reading this book I have been able to recognize some of the dangers Becker has stated. I would highly recommend that you read this book, and share it with those that you love. There is valuable information given that you should be aware of. It is better to be aware of and know how to access danger when it comes, then to not know, and be caught in a situation and feel vulnerable.
Anonymous 9 months ago
Valuable lessons Excellent examples
LNNO More than 1 year ago
I picked up this book after a recommendation from a friend. I have always considered myself aware in every situation. This book however helped me to hone my skills! As I read the book, my body would notice things but like the author would later remark, I did not process them until after. This book helps you listen to the inner voice and process and react efficiently. As a mom, I will share this book with my daughter when dating begins and I am confident it will be a blessing for her. Thanks for a great, well written, helpful book that I will now pass to so many women in my life, that I know will benefit from it.
cathygeeNJ More than 1 year ago
I first read about "The Gift of Fear" in Carolyn Hax' column for the Washington Post, "Tell Me about It." (She is an excellent columnist; I have learned a LOT from her.) After reading references to it a number of times over the years I finally made a note to look it up, and did, one Sunday afternoon, on the B&N website. I read the excerpt, easily accessible on this website, and ordered copies for my son and daughter-in-law, my daughter and her SO, and then wrote strong recommendations to my sibs, my own mother, and put a link up on my FB page. One of my sisters purchased it and used it to help get to a successful our-of-court settlement for a harassment problem. We have been taught to ignore our intuition - and we have been taught it at our peril. There is a cult of "niceness" that teaches us to ignore our twinges. This book is not about being rude at all; it does not validate inappropriate behavior. It teaches us how to pay attention, how to not escalate situations, and how to not become so fearful we are inclined to hole up in our houses instead. This book has the potential to save lives, if only people will read it, and act on it. Please do just that!
LoriAC More than 1 year ago
This is one of the best 3 books I have read!  As  Police Officer, I cannot count the times I have recommended it to others!!  Invaluable!!!