Gilmore Girls: I Do, Don't I?

Gilmore Girls: I Do, Don't I?

by Catherine Clark

"We have buried the putrid corpse of liberty."
— Benito Mussolini

It's not like I'm surprised my mom picked the Mussolini quote for her wedding invitation. She's never been what one would call "conventional." I was a little surprised (but happy) when she agreed to marry my English teacher, Max Medina. Which makes my summer even busier — with

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"We have buried the putrid corpse of liberty."
— Benito Mussolini

It's not like I'm surprised my mom picked the Mussolini quote for her wedding invitation. She's never been what one would call "conventional." I was a little surprised (but happy) when she agreed to marry my English teacher, Max Medina. Which makes my summer even busier — with my classes at Chilton, the wedding planning, and, as Paris so efficiently pointed out, about ten years of extracurricular activities to catch up on, it makes me wonder: whatever happened to the good ol' days of summer loving, had me a blast?

Product Details

HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:
Gilmore Girls Series
Edition description:
Product dimensions:
4.18(w) x 6.75(h) x 0.45(d)
Age Range:
9 - 12 Years

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Chapter One

The Wizard of Oz is a classic. I know it, you know it, Pink Floyd fans know it. Have you heard about "The Dark Side of the Rainbow"? Avid fans of the band discovered if you play the album and the movie at the same time, starting Dark Side of the Moon right after the MGM lion has finished his third roar, the album appears to have been written as a soundtrack for the film. Coincidences include the jangling bells from "Time" hitting right as Almira Gulch (also known as the Witch Lady) arrives on her bicycle, and the guitar jam of "Great Gig in the Sky" fitting perfectly with the tornado sequence. The album ends when Dorothy puts her head on the Tin Man's chest and you hear the sound of a loud beating heart from your stereo. It's actually very cool, and I was, of course, turned on to it by my best friend and resident music freak, Lane Kim.

My other best friend is Lorelai Gilmore. My mom. She definitely had her Wizard of Oz influence too. She bought me my first book involving the adventures of Dorothy and Toto -- the book the movie was based on -- The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. It was only appropriate, then, that because of my mom, I was having this weird Wizard of Oz flashback. I was completely surrounded by yellow daisies. Our living room was filled with them, and I kept expecting a winged monkey to come pick me up and take me to the Emerald City. Mom probably would have enjoyed hearing this, though she would have giggled for hours once I said "winged monkey," so I opted to keep that thought to myself and returned to my task.

Besides, I didn't want to distract her. She was currently piling flowers into thearms of a man at the front door. When he walked away, completely loaded down, she closed the door and walked through the room, picking up flowers and consolidating them by the front door.

"What year is Max's car?" I asked.

That's Max, as in Medina. The man responsible for my floral surroundings. Formerly known as one of my teachers at Chilton, currently deemed the man who had proposed to my mom the night before.

"Sixty-five Mustang," Mom answered.

"Goodyear," I said, noting it on the legal pad I was holding.

For a second, Mom stopped dealing with the flowers. "What are you doing?"

"The Lorelai Gilmore's 'Should I Marry Max Medina' Pro-Con List."

"Oh good, another list." She went back to her flowers as a group of ladies appeared at the door.

"Am I too late for some daisies?" one of them asked.

"Nope. Take all you want," she replied.

"It's turning out to be very interesting actually," I continued.

"I bet," Mom said as she helped the lady get her flowers.

I read from my list. "Pros. A career in academics, an excellent vocabulary, extremely smart, excellent collection of first editions, extensive knowledge of famous women in literature --"

"Oh my God, he sounds perfect for you," Mom said as another group of people came through the door. "Come on in. Help yourselves," she told them.

I continued reading from my list. "Funny, good cooking skills, excellent sugar tolerance, smells good, showers frequently, opens doors, pulls out chairs -- "

"Saves kittens daily from burning buildings. Cape and tights a lovely shade of red ... " Blah blah blah is what she really wanted to say.

"Better pipe up 'cause I got nothing under cons," I said.

"There's a pair of elephant boxer shorts that definitely could go under cons," Mom said.

"Doesn't count."

"The trunk moves."

"Okay, it counts. And thank you for ensuring I'll never be able to look at my English teacher again as long as I live."

"My pleasure."

"However, even with the creepy animal underwear, the pros are winning by a landslide, which should be telling you something."

"Rory, I am not deciding whether or not to get married off of a list. This is the most important decision of both of our lives and we cannot take it lightly. So toss a coin or get out the crazy eight ball."

Kirk walked in wearing his postman's uniform. Working at the local post office is just one of his many vocations in Stars Hollow.

"I'm here to pick up some flowers for the post office," he said.

"Yes, Kirk, come on in," Mom said.

"You're avoiding the subject," I said.

"You're annoying the mother."

Kirk looked around. "Is this the whole selection?"

"I'm afraid so," Mom said.

He looked around again, then started gathering up flowers. "Ill just have to make it work."

I continued on my campaign. "Max is perfect for you. He makes you happy. That makes me happy. Plus, I think I'd like having a Gilmore Boy around the house."

"So he's taking my name?"

"Of course."

"Good, because I really like my driver's license picture."

"Mom ... "

"Rory, I'm trying to be responsible here, okay?"

"Excuse me, Lorelai," Kirk interrupted. "I have to ask you something. There's a rumor going on around town that you're getting married. Is this true?"

"I don't know yet, Kirk," Mom said.

"Because my mom married my dad and nothing good came of it," Kirk continued.


"Total disaster on every front. I just can't recommend it."

"Thank you for sharing that, Kirk."

"Information is our greatest weapon," Kirk said as he walked out the door, his arms loaded down with flowers.

Mom went back to her arranging but I wanted her to talk to me about Max. She continued ignoring me, so I finally went over and shoved the pad in front of her. "Hey."

"Gnat," Mom said.



"Okay, look, I am just trying to put all of your arguments down in black and white so you can make the most rational, responsible decision possible. And the only way for that to happen is for you to take this list, sit down, and try to find a con."

"Rory, I've got people coming ..."

Gilmore Girls: I Do, Don't I?. Copyright � by Catherine Clark. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

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