Gil's All Fright Diner [NOOK Book]

Overview


Bloodier than Fried Green Tomatoes!
Funnier than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer . . .

Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick ...
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Gil's All Fright Diner

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Overview


Bloodier than Fried Green Tomatoes!
Funnier than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer . . .

Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley.
But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg. Seems someone's out to drive Loretta from the Diner, and more than willing to raise a little Hell on Earth if that's what it takes. Before Duke and Earl get to the bottom of the Diner's troubles, they'll run into such otherworldly complications as undead cattle, an amorous ghost, a jailbait sorceress, and the terrifying occult power of pig-latin.
And maybe--just maybe--the End of the World, too.

Gory, sexy, and flat-out hilarious, Gil's All Fright Diner will tickle your funnybone--before ripping it out of its socket!

At the publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management software (DRM) applied.


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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
"[A] laugh-out-loud comic fantasy that should appeal to fans of Terry Brooks's Landover novels."
Publishers Weekly
"Fans of Douglas Adams will happily sink their teeth into this combo platter of raunchy laughs and ectoplasmic ecstasy."
Library Journal
When the manager of Gil's All Night Diner asks transient customers Duke and Earl to lend her some assistance against an onslaught of zombies, the pair agrees to take on the task for $100, revealing after the job is done that they know something about the supernatural: Duke is a werewolf, and Earl, his best friend, is a vampire. What begins as a one-night job turns into a regular employment opportunity as it becomes clear that someone has targeted the diner for some unknown reason. A teenage witch, a lonely ghost, and a mysterious cult with one member round out the cast of characters in this laugh-out-loud comic fantasy that should appeal to fans of Spider Robinson's Callaha tales and Terry Brooks's Landover novels. Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
School Library Journal
Adult/High School-Two friends-Earl (as in the Earl of Vampires) and Duke (as in the Duke of Werewolves)-are driving along one evening when their truck runs out of gas. They wind up at an all-night diner in Rockwood, a small desert town that has a bit of a zombie problem. They help Loretta, the diner's owner/cook, fend off the zombies that are drawn to her eatery. Impressed, she asks the two to stay on and help her take care of some other supernatural problems in the town and to learn who is raising the ghouls. Duke and Earl discover that Tammy (also known as Mistress Lilith, Queen of the Night) and her loyal but dumb boyfriend are plotting to end the world in order to resurrect the old gods. Similar in style and humor to the work of Douglas Adams and Joe R. Lansdale, and Shaun of the Dead, this comic horror-fantasy is packed with warped humor and action. The characters are likable, three-dimensional, and quirky. The story is fast paced, interesting, and unpredictable. Martinez carves out a nice little bit of entertainment with surprising depth.-Erin Dennington, Fairfax County Public Library, Chantilly, VA Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
A first novel explores the dynamics of the horror novel and comes up with Wolf Man Meets H.P. Lovecraft. After all, Universal Pictures started this whole horror revival back in the mid-1930s just as Lovecraft was departing to meet the old gods of Cthulhu, so why not meld the two scary venues into one? Here, Martinez leads us into the lives of Earl the Vampire and Duke the Wolf Man, who met on the night that Duke first changed from human to werewolf, attacked Earl in the woods and began eating his guts. We meet these two argumentative lowlifes in their ratty pickup truck as they pull into Gil's All Night Diner in Rockwood County in the middle of nowhere. Even in human form, Duke is huge. Earl, defying Bela Lugosi's Hungarian hauteur, has a really bad comb-over on his balding pate. Gil himself disappeared five years ago-to rule the universe, we later learn-and left fat Loretta to run his diner. Over the years she's shotgunned about 185 zombies, but they continue to attack the eatery in small groups. Duke and Earl decide to stick around and help Loretta ward off these unwelcome walking dead. It turns out that Rockwood County has been pestered in recent years by various occult disturbances, thanks to Tammy, a high-schooler intent on becoming Lilith, Queen of the Universe. To that end, she's been studying her abridged Necronomicon and raising zombies to take over Gil's diner as her very own gateway to Lovecraftville. Meanwhile, Earl comes across Cathy, an attractive teen ghost guarding a no-longer-used local graveyard, and they fall for each other. That's as much plot as you need to know. Promising launch for a buddy horror series. Who's next: Frankenstein?
Analog Science Fiction and Fact
"If there's any justice in this world, Martinez is already working on a sequel."
Booklist
"Delightfully droll, this comic romp will be a crowd-pleaser."
Cemetery Dance
The best book that I've read all year. Martinez's writing flows as smoothly as cold draught beer. Highly recommended.

— Steve Vernon

The San Diego Union-Tribune
"Traditional necromantic horror treated as Southwestern fun."
Fangoria
"It's an appetizing snack perfect for devouring quickly over a hot cop o' joe."
Locus
"It's horror both humorous and grisly, a twisted take on small-town America and buddy adventures."
From the Publisher
Praise for Gil's All Fright Diner

"Fans of Douglas Adams will happily sink their teeth into this combo platter of raunchy laughs and ectoplasmic ecstasy."—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

"[A] laugh-out-loud comic fantasy that should appeal to fans of Terry Brooks's Landover novels."—Library Journal

"Do you know a young man twelve to seventeen years old who hates reading? This is the book for him! . . . A funfest of ghouls, zombie cattle, ghosts of various kinds, and lots of battles featuring decaying flesh and body parts. . . . Reads like the work of Douglas Adams. . . . One young reader gives highest praise: 'I buy the book . . . and read it straight through! I've never done that in my life, but I couldn't put it down.'"—Voices of Youth Advocates

"Delightfully droll, this comic romp will be a crowd-pleaser."—Booklist

"Traditional necromantic horror treated as Southwestern fun."—The San Diego Union-Tribune

"The story finds its footing through its personable likable characters and the absurdly awkward fight they put up against increasingly bizarre supernatural terrors. . . . Gil's All Fright Diner really goes the extra mile to distinguish itself from the pack, creating a unique mythology and canon rather than relying on pre-established guidelines for its various creatures. . . . It's an appetizing snack perfect for devouring quickly over a hot cop o' joe."—Fangoria

"If there's any justice in this world, Martinez is already working on a sequel to star Duke, Earl, Cathy, and the ghost of a plucky little dog."—Analog Science Fiction and Fact

"It's horror both humorous and grisly, a twisted take on small-town America and buddy adventures."—Locus

"A supernatural concoction spicier and tastier than a bowl of Texas red. . . . The funniest book you ever read about the undead, the occult, and Armageddon. . . . Martinez infuses his comic horror story with dry Texas wit, playing skillfully with the reader's expectations and the hoary conventions of the horror genre."—The Decatur Daily, Alabama

"The best book that I've read all year. . . . This is tale telling at its finest. Martinez's writing flows as smoothly as cold draught beer. I recommend this one highly."—Steve Vernon, Cemetery Dance

"Gil's All Fright Diner is a hoot of a novel. Fast-paced, Texas-wit-funny, sharply written, sharply observed. Pure blood-sweet entertainment from a Alex Martinez, a writer whose future books I look forward to."—Joe R. Lansdale, author Sunset and Sawdust

"Can a vampire find true love with a ghost? Can a teenage witch open the gates of Hell? Anything can happen in A. Lee Martinez's wacky debut."—Charlaine Harris, bestselling author of Dead to the World

"Not since Christopher Moore has anyone managed to make The Damned so damned funny. Martinez's Earl of Vampires and Duke of Werewolves are memorable characters, fully realized and totally plausible—if you believe in Texas, at least—and I hope to meet them again, and again."—Spider Robinson, bestselling author of Callahan's Con

"A rippingly wonderful novel, funny enough to wake the dead and gripping enough to captivate the living."—David Lubar

The Decatur Daily (Alabama)
"A supernatural concoction spicier and tastier than a bowl of Texas red.
Cemetery Dance - Steve Vernon
"The best book that I've read all year. Martinez's writing flows as smoothly as cold draught beer. Highly recommended."
author Sunset and Sawdust - Joe R. Lansdale
"A hoot of a novel. Pure blood-sweet entertainment from Martinez, a writer whose future books I look forward to.
bestselling author of Dead to the World - Charlaine Harris
"Can a vampire find true love? Can a teenage witch open the gates of Hell? Anything can happen in Martinez's wacky debut.
bestselling author of Callahan's Con - Spider Robinson
"Not since Christopher Moore has anyone managed to make The Damned so damned funny.
David Lubar
"A rippingly wonderful novel, funny enough to wake the dead and gripping enough to captivate the living."
Voices of Youth Advocates
"Do you know a young man twelve to seventeen years old who hates reading? This is the book for him!"
Alabama The Decatur Daily
"A supernatural concoction spicier and tastier than a bowl of Texas red."
author of Sunset and Sawdust Joe R. Lansdale
"A hoot of a novel. Pure blood-sweet entertainment from a writer whose future books I look forward to."
bestselling author of Dead to the World Charlaine Harris
"Can a vampire find true love? Can a teenage witch open the gates of Hell? Anything can happen in Martinez's wacky debut."
bestselling author of Callahan's Con Spider Robinson
"Not since Christopher Moore has anyone managed to make The Damned so damned funny."
author Sunset and Sawdust Joe R. Lansdale
"A hoot of a novel. Pure blood-sweet entertainment from Martinez, a writer whose future books I look forward to."
author of Hidden Talents and Flip David Lubar
"A rippingly wonderful novel, funny enough to wake the dead and gripping enough to captivate the living."
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781429913621
  • Publisher: Tom Doherty Associates
  • Publication date: 6/27/2006
  • Sold by: Macmillan
  • Format: eBook
  • Edition description: First Edition
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 82,849
  • File size: 273 KB

Meet the Author


A. Lee Martinez lives in Terrell, Texas.

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Read an Excerpt


Midnight Munchies!

The waitress smiled. Her smile vanished as her eyes fell on the glass diner doors. "Aw, damn it. Not tonight."

Earl glanced to the front. Nine shambling corpses in various stages of decay were pressed against the glass. Their yellow eyes (for those that had eyes) stared hungrily. Purple tongues licked peeling lips.

"Told'ja I smelt zombies," Duke said without turning from his meal.

The walking dead smashed their way through the glass doors. The lead corpse, in a paisley blue suit, stumped forward on stiff legs.

"Don't you worry none, boys. I'll handle this."

She pulled a double-barreled shotgun from behind the counter, took aim, and squeezed the trigger . . .
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 81 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(45)

4 Star

(26)

3 Star

(6)

2 Star

(3)

1 Star

(1)

Your Rating:

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 81 Customer Reviews
  • Posted February 15, 2011

    I recommend this to anyone who enjoys a good laugh

    I picked this book up at a Barnes & Noble store based on the title alone. It was the first of A. Lee Martinez's books that I read, and I loved it. Very funny stuff. I am excited that it is finally available for my nook!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 17, 2014

    Loved this!

    I loved this story

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted January 13, 2014

    I Also Recommend:

    The first book by Martinez, it is one I might have hesitated abo

    The first book by Martinez, it is one I might have hesitated about if it were my choice to bestow an award. I have usually known authors to receive awards for later books, so Martinez maybe could himself a lucky man. The book was enjoyable in its own right, a bit immature and sweaty at times—referring to young peoples’ hormones. It has kind of a dark edge to it and maintains its humor. Not bad for a first book.

    I would recommend this product along with Sirens of Morning Light by Benjamin Anderson, a quest for a man in Iowa to regain his identity, which becomes entangled with people who claim to have known him when he discovers he is a scientific experiment. Make sure not to miss either book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 23, 2013

    Awesome book!

    I am officially in love with this author. I do not usually write reviews but this book is refreshing...I have grown bored of a lot of books and authors but this story was thouroughly entertaining. I recommend it 100%

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 5, 2013

    HELP!!!!!!

    How long is it???

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 26, 2013

    Another good read...

    A.L. Martinez is always entertaining with new twists on predictable themes. For some solid witty mental bubble gum, this is another enjoyable chews...

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 23, 2013

    Love this book.

    One of the fun and original book to read in a while he has a new fan.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2013

    Fun and easy

    I loved this book! It was funny and very entertaining. I also recommend reading the authors other books. You wont be disappointed.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 26, 2012

    11th result for fright

    ?

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 14, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Highly Recommended

    Normally I don't like science fiction, or werewolves or that sort of thing. This book changed all of that. Written in extremely entertaining prose, I couldn't put it down. I loves the relationship between the two title characters and the author's writing style is very easy and fun! Take the risk...you'll be glad you did!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted July 2, 2011

    Horror, Romance, and more than a few laughs

    Good times through and through.

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  • Posted June 26, 2011

    His first book and my favorite.

    Best werewolf and vampire aliance EVER!!!!

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 28, 2010

    Bought the book for the title, and it was worth it

    Very funny stuff, and this is going to be Dreamworks movie once they figure out how to do the story with no profanity. Please make this into a nookbook! It's one of Martinez's best books.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted September 16, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Lots of fun

    I giggled my way through this book. You can't go wrong with a vampire who's afraid of ghosts, a werewolf with a serious bear belly, zombie cows ready to eat you, and an evil spirit that lives inside a magic eight ball. It was a fun read.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 29, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    A Really Good, Funny Read

    Honestly, the only negative thing I can say about this book is that I wish J.L. Martinez would write sequels. This is a really funny, creative story, and fans of horror/fantasy novels should enjoy it immensely. There's something very clever about how Martinez takes a bunch of cliches from both genres and makes them new and interesting: vampires, werewolves, seductive enchantresses. You'll find all of these in the book, but they're quite different (and more humorous) than you would expect. At the same time, the plot is really engaging, and I found myself turning pages quite quickly to find out what would happen. Overall, definitely worth a read.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 8, 2010

    Gil's All Fright Diner

    Fun read. Love the writing style, laid back. You almost could be there!

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  • Posted March 23, 2010

    Entertaining

    Very good read!

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  • Posted February 24, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Fun Little Romp

    A vampire, a werewolf, a ghost dog with lots of heart, and zombie cows... What's not to love? It was a quick read, definitely different, and gave me several laughs along the way. A nice weekend or rainy day story, or just an easy story to make you giggle on a bad day.

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  • Posted April 28, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Delightfully Offbeat

    A. Lee Martinez's style is an undeniable collaboration of hilarity and suspenseful absurdity.

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  • Posted March 4, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I love this book!

    I really love this book. You must read it. That is all I have to say - I LOVE THIS BOOK!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 81 Customer Reviews

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