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A collection of humorous stories derived from the Old Testament.
Adam loved to play games, and the animals in the Garden of Eden loved to play games, but the games they loved to play were different -- really different!
The animals loved to play games like chase your tail, but Adam didn't like that game, because he didn't have a tail. Adam loved playing smack the coconut, where he would take a big stick and try to hit a coconut over the wall that went around the garden, but most of the animals didn't like that game, because they didn't have hands to hold a stick. Besides, they thought the game was a waste of a perfectly good coconut that you could eat instead of smack.
The animals loved to play I'm gonna bite your neck, but after playing that game once with some tigers and bears, Adam decided that he would never play this game with any animal that had pointy teeth! Adam loved to play hit the little white ball into a hole in the ground with a curved stick, but the animals thought this game was so silly it would never catch on.
The animals loved to play pull on both ends of a rope with your teeth, but every time Adam played that game with some big strong animal, he got dragged around the garden by his teeth.
The animals loved the games where they got to eat something or chase something or bite something, and Adam loved the games where he got to hit something or catch something or run or jump somewhere. In fact, there was only one game both Adam and the animals loved to play. That game was called jump and run aroundand make all kinds of happy noises for no reason at all. So both Adam andthe animals loved to play games, but it was hard for them to play together.
God knew what was wrong. God had put lots of animals in the garden but only one person. God knew that Adam was lonely. Of course there was a reason why God made just one person to begin with. God didn't want any person to say, "My family is better than your family." God wanted to make all the families come from the same person so that everybody would feel special to God in the same way. This was a very good reason for God, but it was a very bad deal for Adam, because it meant that if he didn't want to play chase your tail, or I'm gonna bite your neck, he had to play all by himself. So God decided to make Adam somebody to play with. But God knew that it was also time for things to change.
The next day Adam woke up and screamed, "Yeouch!" He was real sore on his left side.
God told Adam why he was sore. "Adam, you are sore in your side because last night that's where I took the stuff to make another person to share the garden with you. I made her from your rib so that you will not argue about who is better. I want all people to remember that everybody came from you, and you came from me. I did all this so that you and the woman could become a family and make babies, and that way I can get out of the peoplemaking business. Most of all, I did this so that you will not be lonely anymore."
"Where's the person?" Adam asked while rubbing his side, but God was finished talking. Adam looked all over the garden to find the other person, but all he found was a few animals that wanted to play I'm gonna bite your neck.
Later in the day the pain went away from Adam's side, and after a while he forgot he had ever been sore. He headed out to the field in the afternoon to play a little smack the coconut, and, asusual, none of the animals wanted to play. So, as usual, Adam played alone. He grabbed his favorite stick, threw a nice big coconut up into the air, and took a big swing at it with the stick. Smack! The coconut sailed high into the sky, but just before the coconut whizzed over the wall of the garden, a hand reached up from the weeds and caught the coconut! Adam couldn't believe his eyes.
"Nice hit!" a voice shouted from the outfield. It wasn't an elephant voice. It wasn't a monkey voice. It wasn't a hippopotamus voice. It was a voice like his voice, only a little higher and a little softer.
"Who's out there?" Adam asked. That's when Adam saw that the voice was attached to a hand, and the hand was attached to another person. It was the other person! The other person kind of looked like him except that her hair was longer and she had curves where he had bumps. Adam was happy right away.
The other person handed him the coconut, and Adam said, "Thank you."
The other person said, "You're welcome."
Adam said, "What's your name?"
The other person said, "What's a name?"
Adam said, "A name is a word we can use to find each other. My name is Adam, which God told me means 'red earth,' because God made me out of red earth. If you can't find me, all you have to do is call out my name, and wherever I am, I'll come running to find you again."
"What did God use to make me?" the other person asked.
"God made you out of one of my bones," Adam answered.
"Well then, maybe my name should be Bony," the other person said.
"Bony is a good name," said Adam.
"Would you teach me how to smack the coconut?" Bony asked.
Adam said, "Sure!"God's Mailbox. Copyright © by Marc Gellman. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.