Great Sex: A Man's Guide to the Secret Principles of Total-Body Sex

Great Sex: A Man's Guide to the Secret Principles of Total-Body Sex

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by Michael Castleman
     
 

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Do you want to be a great lover and enjoy consistently great sex? Would you like reliable erections that don't wilt in the middle of lovemaking? Would you like superb ejaculatory control? Would you like your penis to be as large as it possibly can be? Do you want women to sing your sexual praises? All these sexual benefits can be yours if you read Great Sex

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Overview

Do you want to be a great lover and enjoy consistently great sex? Would you like reliable erections that don't wilt in the middle of lovemaking? Would you like superb ejaculatory control? Would you like your penis to be as large as it possibly can be? Do you want women to sing your sexual praises? All these sexual benefits can be yours if you read Great Sex and take its message to heart.

Author Michael Castleman is the nation's top journalist specializing in men's sexuality. He has been a sex educator, counselor, and writer for 30 years, including 5 years as the expert who answered the sex questions submitted to the Playboy Advisor. Written with the help of an advisory board that includes some of the nation's leading sex therapists, Great Sex is certain to help you overcome your sex problems; become a better, more confident lover; and enjoy the sex of your dreams.

Castleman's message is surprisingly simple: Stop imitating the rushed, all-genital sex you see in pornography. Instead, cultivate the opposite: leisurely, playful, total-body, massage-based lovemaking that includes the genitals, of course, but is not focused on them.

Sex inspired by pornography is a major reason why men think their penises are too small and why they have erection and ejaculatory problems. With wit, wisdom, and down-to-earth sympathy for men, Castleman discusses his own penis--like yours, it's a little too small--and his own struggles with balky erections, rapid ejaculation, and not expressing orgasm at all. Then, based on state-of-the-art sex therapy techniques, leading sexology texts, and almost 400 medical journal articles, he reveals how to overcome these issues and enjoy a satisfying and exciting sex life.

What's more, the sexual style Castleman advocates is the way most women prefer to make love. Take Castleman's advice and you'll benefit by having a lover who is more arousable, responsive, enthusiastic, and complimentary. In other words, when you embrace sensual, creative, whole-body lovemaking, everybody wins. You have fewer sex problems. The woman you love gets what she wants in bed. And you both enjoy sex that's hotter, more erotic, and more fulfilling.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
In this comprehensive sex manual, Castleman, a sex educator, counselor and journalist specializing in men's sexuality, leads readers through the pleasures and pitfalls of heterosexual copulation and its accoutrements. Illustrated with artful charcoal drawings and peppered with bon mots like "great sex is a combination of friction and fantasy," the book breezily covers a wide swath of the sexual arena, everything from the perennial libido crusher, male impotence, to questions of hygiene, like female douching. The author doesn't really reveal any new "secret principles." The Q&A section, for example, covers the same topics that most on-air sex therapists have been discussing since the sixties: e.g. "During sex with my girlfriend/wife, I have fantasies of other women. Is that okay?" and "Is it okay to masturbate as much as I do?" Still, Castleman does arrange and clearly present a wealth of information-from descriptions of the sexual positions that are most likely to bring a woman to orgasm to a careful discussion of how couples can regain intimacy in the wake a sexual trauma, such as abuse, rape or stalking. Combined with the author's calm, practical tone, such breadth is likely to win him many readers. 25 b/w illustrations. (Jan.) Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.
Library Journal
Pornography may be entertaining for men, but it's lousy sex education, writes journalist/educator Castleman (Sexual Solutions). Most men don't get much sex education, but they do see porn-and familiarity breeds imitation. Yet porn's rushed, mechanical, genital-based sex leads to erection and ejaculation problems and turns women off. "Great sex" is leisurely, playful, and creative, encompassing the whole body-and most women like it better. Castleman starts off by describing how healthy lifestyles enhance sex, then segues into men's common concerns, e.g., penis size, masturbation, male virginity, and fantasies. Further chapters cover male sexual anatomy, ejaculation timing, and erection reliability-all with facts and "Great Sex" coping approaches. Four chapters address women's sexuality/pleasure. Concluding chapters speak to both partners: variations and enhancements, birth control (including outercourse), infections, desire issues, and how to find a therapist. Throughout, Castleman deftly sells good sex for women by appealing to men's own interests, with accurate, well-referenced details. Including Internet and organizational resources, as well as a lengthy reference list on a web site, this book is highly recommended for public libraries.-Martha Cornog, Philadelphia Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.

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Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781623361228
Publisher:
Rodale
Publication date:
01/03/2004
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
Format:
NOOK Book
Sales rank:
259,844
File size:
2 MB

Read an Excerpt

The Misleading Messages of Porn

Want your honey to act like a porn star? Don't hold your breath. Pornography seriously misrepresents how women feel about sex and themselves. "It amazes me," says Great Sex advisory board member Dennis Sugrue, Ph.D., "how some men don't understand that pornography presents a fantasy world, a Neverland that's very different from the world real people live in."

Some fantasies it promotes:

Fantasy: Every woman can't wait to spread her legs.

Reality: In real life, compared with men, women usually need considerably more sexual warm-up time before they feel comfortable with genital sexuality. They need time for playful, creative, full-body sensuality. Porn totally ignores this very real need. Instead, it encourages men to plunge into intercourse long before women feel receptive. When surveys ask women what they dislike about the way men make love, they consistently reply that men rush into intercourse too quickly. Blame it on porn. Porn sex leaves many women cold -- and turned-off women aren't much fun in bed.

Fantasy: A woman should look like a porn star to be considered sexy.

Reality: Porn stars' bodies are way too perfect. They have flat bellies; firm breasts, thighs, upper arms, and butts; no flab; and no wrinkles. Many have also had plastic surgery: breast enlargement, tummy tucks, liposuction -- you name it. "Many men don't understand how most women compare themselves to porn actresses," advisory board member Louanne Weston, Ph.D., explains. "The typical woman feels very distressed that her body is nowhere near as flawless as what she sees on screen. Her man is sitting there thinking, 'I'd love a blowjob like that.' Meanwhile she's thinking, 'I'm a tub of lard.' When women see the men in their lives enjoying those women they often feel hopelessly outclassed. They fear rejection, and it's a deep and chilling fear, one few men appreciate."

Fantasy: Women love to flaunt their bodies.

Reality: The women in porn seem delighted to flash their breasts and genitals, and strut around naked just about anywhere. Few real women are exhibitionists. Because of their insecurities about their bodies, many women feel reluctant to reveal themselves even to the men they love. Meanwhile, men who view porn often expect their lovers to prance around in the buff and can't understand why they insist on wearing robes until just before slipping under the covers and want the lights off during sex.

Fantasy: Women are content to "receive" sex from men, with no hope of experiencing orgasm themselves.

Reality: Given that fewer than half of women express orgasm during intercourse, the fact that women in pornography almost never do is actually the X-rated media's only realistic element. After the man comes, known in the industry as the "money shot," the sex is over. The women scream and moan in the throes of supposed passion, but they almost never have orgasms. Imagine if the roles were reversed and you were in the throes of ecstasy only to be cut short once your lover had her orgasm. You'd likely feel disappointed. When women watch porn, that's how many of them feel.

The culture of porn has little interest in women's sexual satisfaction -- most is produced by men for men. In addition, given the rushed, nonsensual nature of porn sex, under those circumstances, it's a rare woman who could come, even if she wanted to. No wonder so many men are in the dark about women's orgasms. They never see them in porn, and they have no idea that porn-style sex leaves many women so turned off and unfulfilled that they can't possibly express orgasm.

Fantasy: All women respond the same way in bed.

Reality: Pornography ignores the unique individuality of sexual expression. Porn sex is cookbook sex. Take two people. Get them naked. She sucks. He licks. Then they have intercourse in various acrobatic -- and unrealistic -- positions. Some people may enjoy making love this way, but most prefer more creativity. Porn never shows lovers massaging each other's shoulders, or running fingers through each other's hair, or tracing fingers on the backs of knees, or sucking each other's fingers or ear lobes. All of these little moves add special zing to lovemaking. Pornography rarely shows eye contact, never zooms in to catch one lover whispering, "I love you." Nor does pornography ever show lovers asking each other, "Is this okay? How's this? Too light? Just right? Too intense?" Or "What can I do for you?" In porn, one script fits all. "Porn sex is very narrow," Klein says. "After a while, it gets boring. Great sex never gets boring."

(Reprinted from Great Sex: A Man's Guide to the Secret Principles of Total-Body Sex by Michael Castleman (Rodale Inc., Hardcover, $24.95). Permission granted by Rodale, Emmaus, PA 18098. Available wherever books are sold.)

Copyright © 2004 Michael Castleman

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