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Astonishingly, almost none of the literature on sex is helpful on this issue. Almost without exception, the "experts" have been asking the ...
Astonishingly, almost none of the literature on sex is helpful on this issue. Almost without exception, the "experts" have been asking the wrong questions and are stuck in an old paradigm of how sexual intercourse is supposed to work. As a result, few couples find the advice they need:
--Three approaches that allow both partners to get full satisfaction during lovemaking, including simultaneous orgasms, which the conventional wisdom has declared to be virtually impossible
--A breakthrough for couples in achieving mutual satisfaction and long-term sexual happiness
--Revolutionary ideas that liberate couples from conventional wisdom that doesn't work and helps them communicate about what does
Every day we are bombarded with sex. It comes at us in movies and TV shows, billboards and the Internet, suggestively clad people on the street, and magazine covers in the supermarket check-out counter assaulting us with headlines like "Ten Ways to Drive Him Wild!" The message is not subtle: everyone out there is having great sex, and if you aren't, well, poor you.
Even if we could block out this onslaught of sexual messages, hormones are coursing through our bodies, and most people-especially adolescents and young adults-are biologically driven to have sexual thoughts with some regularity. John Finley, the late Harvard professor and housemaster, used to joke that the mission of the university was to reduce the amount of time students spend thinking about sex from 85 percent of each day to 55 percent.
Yet for all this ambient sexuality and pressure to join the wonderful sexual party, there are occasional reports from the front lines that things may not be as rosy as we are led to believe:
--In 1985, Ann Landers asked the female readers of her advice column how they felt about making love. She was flooded with more than one hundred thousand letters, with 72 percent of the writers saying they'd much rather be doing something other than having sex. One woman wrote that she found sex with her husband "disgusting and unhygienic," but still loved him and enjoyed their life together.
Chapter 1: Disappointment in the Land of Eros: Is There a Design Flaw? -
Chapter 2: Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am: The Long History of One-Sided Sex -
Chapter 3: No Female Orgasm-But He Tried -
Chapter 4: Faking It and Dealing with It -
Chapter 5: Simultaneous Orgasms: Are They Possible? -
Chapter 6: Three Approaches to Mutual Satisfaction -
Chapter 7: What's Technique Got to Do with It? -
Chapter 8: Keeping Passion Alive in Long-TermRelationships -
Chapter 9: Finding Our Way to Sexual Happiness -
About the Author -