Green Eyed Burn: "The Fatman" [NOOK Book]

Overview

RCMP Inspector Catherine Wildman and Investigative Reporter Johnny Riel find themselves in the wrong place and the wrong time when a corrupt city councilman wants to have a few "words" with Johnny in this short story from the upcoming GREEN EYED BURN II - "The Inkwell"

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Green Eyed Burn:

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Overview

RCMP Inspector Catherine Wildman and Investigative Reporter Johnny Riel find themselves in the wrong place and the wrong time when a corrupt city councilman wants to have a few "words" with Johnny in this short story from the upcoming GREEN EYED BURN II - "The Inkwell"

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • BN ID: 2940011303081
  • Publisher: David A. Lloyd
  • Publication date: 5/14/2011
  • Sold by: Smashwords
  • Format: eBook
  • Sales rank: 329,582
  • File size: 55 KB

Meet the Author

David A. Lloyd is the Co-founder and President ofThe Cousin Company.A small and feral video production companysomewhere in the wilds north of Toronto.He is the co-writer and director of the low budget film THE LEGEND OF VIPER’S HILLproduced with his cousin and the screenwriter of IRON SOLDIER and JURASSIC SHARK for Brett Kelly Productions.He is currently in preproduction on his 2nd feature titled BEASTS
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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2012

    This could have been a good story

    A good command of the spoken word is an essential skill before undertaking the task of the written word. A simple proofing could have solved a lot of problems before releasing this for public consumption. Juvenile errors, misused words and fractured style detract from what could have been a good short story.

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 27, 2011

    Horrible

    Obviously could use the services of an editor with a spellchecker and a thesarus.

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted June 16, 2012

    Snoozer

    Spellcheck is there for a reason. Hard to read. Very boring, too. Wouldn't recommend.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 23, 2012

    Okay

    "Green Eyed Burn, part 1" was barely adequate as a short story. It is only 16 Nook pages. Admittedly, that was not a lot of writing space, but a good author could make it work. Unfortunately, that did not happen here.

    First, the author must engage the reader from the beginning and introduce the main characters. Why should we care if something terrible happens to them? There was not enough information for me to become invested in this story.

    Next, a conflict needs to begin and finish before the end of the story. No information provided explained why the characters were kidnapped and questioned.

    Finally, the conclusion re-states what happened, and any loose ends will be wrapped up before the last page. Instead, the female lead beats up many bodyguards and the boss without any explanation. There was a lot of superfluous posturing, but nothing useful was gained from it as it pertained to the storyline.

    These are essential elements for great storytelling. Without this format, the reader is left with a lackluster book. On top of that, there were some spelling and grammar issues.

    My primary complaint was that the story began in the middle of a scene without adequate character introductions or explanations. The author assumed that the reader could fill in any missing details without the benefit of additional information. Also, the constantly changing point of view was irritating.

    This short story is not worth reading. Additional editing is required before I can recommend it to anyone with a clear conscience. I gave it two stars because there was potential. The story could have been interesting, but it was not.

    -AvidReader

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 13, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews

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