Growing into You!: An Inclusive, Shame-Busting, Get-Real Guide to Your Changing Body and Mind

by Melissa Pintor Carnagey, Brianna Gilmartin (Illustrator)

Overview

For tweens and young teens of all gender identities, a shame-busting, interactive guide to puberty!

Body hair. Changing friendships, feelings, and fluids. The tween years can be awkward and confusing—but with enough information and an open mind, you can thrive!

Growing into You! has all the puberty facts you’re looking for and more. For example, did you know that . . .

• Voice changes happen to people of all genders?
• Breast buds aren’t something only girls develop?
• Sleep actually helps your bones and muscles grow?
• Everyone has their own unique relationship to gender?

Packed with essential information, conversation starters, reflection exercises, surprising facts, and fun activities, the book contains plenty for you to take into the real world with you. After all, growing into you is a journey—so it’s time to embrace curiosity, ask questions, and treat your body with respect and care!

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781683694311
Publisher:	Quirk Publishing
Publication date:	05/06/2025
Pages:	176
Product dimensions:	6.40(w) x 8.60(h) x 0.80(d)
Lexile:	1080L (what's this?)
Age Range:	10 - 14 Years

About the Author

Melissa Pintor Carnagey (she/they), LBSW, is the founder of the online education platform Sex Positive Families and the creator of the Growing Into You!™ puberty workshops. As a Black, Puerto Rican, and Mexican sexuality educator, social worker, and parent, she believes that all children deserve holistic, comprehensive, and shame-free sexuality education. Melissa lives in Austin, Texas, with their family.

Brianna Gilmartin enjoys creating work that is full of silly and imaginative fun and reflective of quieter moments of life, as well as more emotional work that studies the human condition, human emotions, and our need for human connection.

Read an Excerpt

HOW TO GET STARTED


Throughout the book, you’ll find journal prompts (Let’s Write About It!) and activity ideas (Let’s Have Fun with It!). I recommend keeping a pen and a notebook or piece of paper nearby while reading so you can write down your responses, thoughts, and questions. You can keep them to yourself, but I also encourage you to share any questions and feelings that come up with your trusted adults, if you feel safe to do so. You might feel weird at first if you aren’t used to talking about these subjects with them, and it might not go “perfectly” the first few times you try—but don’t let shame join the conversation. To help you connect with trusted adults on these puberty topics, you’ll notice that each section of this book also includes a Let’s Talk About It! section with conversation starters. Talking openly is the best way to learn from one another!

Who counts as a trusted adult? Trusted adults can be found in many different roles and parts of your life. They could be a parent, stepparent, older sibling, aunt, uncle, grandparent, godparent, older cousin, teacher, counselor, youth leader, coach, pastor, mentor, nanny, neighbor, or other member of your community. They could also be a professional provider you go to for services like therapy or medical care.

However, their title or the role they play in your life doesn’t guarantee that you’ll see this person as someone safe and trustworthy to turn to when you have questions or need support during puberty. You get to determine who is a trusted adult in your life.

To help you identify a trusted adult in your world, think about someone who has some of these traits:

* Easy to talk to
* Kind
* Makes time for you
* A good listener
* Patient
* Respectful
* Honest
* Trustworthy
* Reliable
* Affirms and respects your identities
* Nonjudgmental
* Respects your boundaries
* Feels safe to you (this is a big one!)

Which qualities feel most important to you when you are looking for support? Are there other qualities you would add to this list? As you navigate changes to your body and mind during these years, you can refer to this list when you encounter new people and situations.
It’s also possible that a trusted adult is not available to you right now, or that you may prefer to keep the things you’re learning to yourself. That’s okay, too. Use this book and its resources in whatever ways feel most comfortable to you.

Finally, I invite you to use this book at your pace—because puberty is a journey, not a race. You might skim some of the chapters, try out some of the conversation starters or activities, skip around, or go through the entire book from start to finish. Some of the information may not apply to you yet, but you can revisit it when you’re ready. Some of the information may never apply to you, but I encourage you to read those sections, too. Learning about bodies, identities, and puberty experiences that are different from your own is an important way to foster empathy for and appreciation of others. You’ll notice this book was written inclusively to help you and other tweens and young teens of many different bodies, gender identities, and puberty journeys see yourselves reflected and learn many different facts about growing up.

No matter how you experience this book, I hope it becomes a useful guide to support you along the journey of growing into you!

Editorial Reviews

Although the work specifically addresses a young adolescent audience, many adults will find value in it. The author presents the information clearly, concisely, and nonjudgmentally and reminds readers that there’s no room for shame in discussing these topics.”—Kirkus Reviews

“From growth spurts and growing pains to voice changes and self-care, Growing into You! is our family’s go-to resource for discussing puberty with confidence.”—Britt Hawthorne, New York Times best-selling author of Raising Antiracist Children: A Practical Parenting Guide

“Growing into You! is essential reading both for young people and the adults who love them. Melissa Pintor Carnagey’s work is always among my top sex ed resource recommendations, and this new book invites curiosity, learning, and long-overdue shedding of shame.”—Christine Koh, PhD, cohost of Edit Your Life and coauthor of Minimalist Parenting

“I highly recommend Growing into You! for tweens and young teens. . . . It’s a valuable tool for parents, educators, and young people themselves to navigate the complexities of puberty and sexuality with confidence and respect.”—Candice Nicole Hargons, PhD, award-winning psychologist, sexologist, and author of Good Sex: Stories, Science, and Strategies for Sexual Liberation

“The ultimate guide to puberty; Melissa Pintor Carnagey does it again! Melissa is the go-to sex educator for accessing books and resources for both parents and kids…This book is accessible, inclusive, and just what the world is needing right now. Sure to be engaging and grow with you, Growing into You! is the guide we’ve been waiting for since The Care and Keeping of You.”—Kristen Lilla, LCSW, CST-S, CSE-S, and Christian Hoeger, MEd, LMHP, authors of Vaginas and Periods 101: A Pop-Up Book

“A must-read for anyone navigating the journey of adolescence.”—Alyssa Blask Campbell, MEd, author of Tiny Humans, Big Emotions

“Full of practical guidance, interactive learning, Q&As on the topics that real kids are asking about, and adorable illustrations, this is exactly what a child needs as they grow into themselves!”—Sarah Casper, founder of Comprehensive Consent and author of The Kids and Consent Curriculum

“Growing into You! is the perfect addition to any tween’s bookshelf, covering important sex ed topics in such an approachable, inclusive, and entertaining way.”—Jennifer Litner, PhD, LMFT, CST, CST-S, founder of Embrace Sexual Wellness

“Growing into You! offers a shame-free, in-depth, fresh, positive perspective on puberty for parents and kids alike.”—Rowena Thomas, founder of Amazing Me Sexual Health Education

“Kids deserve real information about what to expect during puberty, and that’s what they’ll get from Growing into You!”—Christopher Pepper, award-winning health educator and coauthor of Talk to Your Boys

“Growing into You! uses empathy and inclusivity to help young people understand the full experience of puberty’s physical, emotional, and social changes. The relatable tone and interactive nature meet kids where they are in order for them to truly take on board all the important information in the book.”—Vanessa Kroll Bennett, coauthor of This Is So Awkward

From the Publisher

2025-03-08
An LGBTQ+-friendly guide to all things related to puberty.

Written by a nonbinary sexual health educator and social worker, this book is divided into four parts, covering an introduction to puberty, changes to your body, self-care tips, and how to connect with yourself and others. Within each section, readers find activities to further their learning and interaction with the content, including writing and discussion prompts and suggested activities. Carnagey intentionally presents the information using gender-inclusive language, for example speaking of “people who were assigned female at birth or who have ovaries.” The book covers topics such as gender, sex assigned at birth, being intersex, going through puberty as a nonbinary individual, period care for trans and nonbinary people, and sexual orientation. The care with which these topics are handled creates a safe space for tweens to explore their identities. Other sensitive topics discussed are period poverty, masturbation, and the importance of consent and boundaries. The backmatter includes suggestions for further reading, websites and organizations, and resources for adults. Although the work specifically addresses a young adolescent audience, many adults will find value in it. The author presents the information clearly, concisely, and nonjudgmentally and reminds readers that there’s no room for shame in discussing these topics. Gilmartin’s bright illustrations show people of varied abilities, skin tones, and sizes and include clear anatomical drawings.

An inclusive look at puberty for tweens and young teens of all gender identities. (glossary, references, index)(Nonfiction. 12-14)

Kirkus Reviews