Anonymous
Posted September 4, 2000
A personal view of the aims of the book. I¿m really pleased with this book. I wanted it to say some very important things about a very difficult subject. I think it succeeds. Child Sexual Abuse is still rarely discussed. It has a great taboo over it. This makes it difficult to write books about. It also makes it difficult for survivors to know what to say, if they feel they want to mention it to relatives or professionals. Professionals may be trained in the facts these days, but many don¿t understand the feelings, the complicated tangle of reactions that I found was so normal for survivors of sexual abuse. It is really important for survivors to hear that other people can understand a lot about how they feel. This is the first step in enabling them to take the risk to come out of their self-imposed silence. We can form a bridge of explanations about how sexual abuse happens and what it does to people. We should `go to them¿ rather than expect them to come to us - after all, they are the sufferers. Metaphors, stories, case examples and small bits of research help in this. They give names to parts of the tangle. Like a jigsaw, they let people build up their understanding, bit by bit. They may not suit everyone, but they are much better than nothing. Writing in plain language is important. I wanted to avoid textbook-style writing because it is so difficult to apply to yourself. I wanted people to be able to `get inside¿ the experience of surviving abuse. I wanted survivors to be reassured that it can be talked about in ordinary words. I wanted relatives to have some idea of what their survivor family member was feeling and thinking. I wanted professionals to have a glimpse of the complications that trap survivors into silent distrust. The `Invisible Trap¿ is the name of one of the metaphors. I also wanted to give the idea of how Counselling works when dealing with this special area. I feel that the usual methods of Counselling people learn on courses are not enough. More understanding of the Trap is needed, and more ways of showing that understanding are essential. I also describe how Group Counselling works and some of the issues that can creep up on partners, and for parents caring for children and teenagers who have been abused. My hope for this book is to make a difference. I want survivors to gain confidence and strength from it. I want relatives to gain patience and understanding from it. I want professionals to gain direction and ideas from it. I also want politicians to consider how much of the community is paralysed by abuse and that directing resources to respond to this special area would be repaid by so much growth and gratitude. It might take some years - even a decade or two. But the difference would be immense. Rather than work with `depression¿ or `unemployment¿ or `alcohol or substance addictions¿ or `crime¿ - all of which may be caused by child sexual abuse, we should aim for the cause - both prevention and support for survivors. Please help this future come true in any way you can.
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