Guys Are Waffles, Girls Are Spaghetti

( 33 )

Overview

Boy meets Girl; Boy wonders what in the world Girl is talking about and how he will ever keep up. Girl wonders what is wrong with Boy.
Enter, Waffles and Spaghetti—every teen's guide to figuring out the opposite sex and understanding and valuing our unique differences.

In a pivotal time of their development and social lives, teens are left to try and understand one another without much guidance. The purpose of...

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Overview

Boy meets Girl; Boy wonders what in the world Girl is talking about and how he will ever keep up. Girl wonders what is wrong with Boy.
Enter, Waffles and Spaghetti—every teen's guide to figuring out the opposite sex and understanding and valuing our unique differences.

In a pivotal time of their development and social lives, teens are left to try and understand one another without much guidance. The purpose of this book is to help better understand themselves as well thosefrom the "alien gender".

Guys' brains are like wafflesthey keep their lives compartmentalized in boxes. Girls'brains are like spaghettieverything in their life is connected to everything else. This book for teens includes brain development, social habits, differences in emotions, and relationship building skills for teens to develop early in their life. Loaded with humor and fun examples, this is a great way for teens to learn about healthy relationships with the opposite sex.

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  • Teens Video/ChadEastham_BB_81da70c2f4e8e1e1634e8049d0e11ad325893a19
    Teens Video/ChadEastham_BB_81da70c2f4e8e1e1634e8049d0e11ad325893a19  

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781400315161
  • Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
  • Publication date: 9/15/2009
  • Pages: 226
  • Sales rank: 245,341
  • Age range: 12 - 17 Years
  • Product dimensions: 5.30 (w) x 8.30 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author

Popular teen speaker, Chad Eastham, speaks to thousands of girls each year on The Revolve Tour®. Chad has written an award-winning health curriculum and several books for teens.

Best-selling authors of over 25 books including Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, Bill and Pam Farrel are co-founders and directors of
Farrel Communications, an organization that brings practical insights to personal relationships.

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Table of Contents

Contents

A Note from Chad....................vii
A Note from Bill and Pam....................xiii
1 You Say, "Eww." I Say, "Awesome!"....................1
2 Waffles and Spaghetti....................7
3 Chromosomes and Rocket Launchers....................21
4 Crying in the Bathroom....................37
5 Cussing in the Woods....................55
6 Excuse Me ... Did Your Body Just Say Something?....................73
7 Talking More Better....................95
8 Wanna Hold Hands?....................113
9 Study Before the Test....................127
10 Shoot Your Barber....................137
11 Dolphin Sex Ed....................151
12 How to Fail at Life....................173
13 Your Brain Doesn't Work ... Completely....................187
Study Guide....................203
Acknowledgments....................219
Notes....................220
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First Chapter

Guys Are Waffles Girls Are Spaghetti


By Chad Eastham Bill Farrel Pam Farrel

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2009 Chad Eastham, Bill Farrel, and Pam Farrel
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4185-7993-7


Chapter One

You Say, "Eww." I Say, "Awesome!"

What's That Smell? Oh ... It's Me.

When I was growing up, I spent a lot of my summers at the beach visiting my dad. I loved the sun; seeing my dad, step-mom, and grandparents; and catching up on some surfing. You could say, in fact, that I love surfing. And in my hometown, surfing is a pretty big deal. I'm not as talented at it as I am passionate about it, but I try. In fact, one summer I spent so much time surfing that I kind of lost track of a few other things that I should have been doing. One of those things was bathing. Every morning I woke up early, grabbed my board, went to the beach all day, and made my way back home in time for dinner. And then one day, before we actually went somewhere nice to eat, my dad came into my room. He always has a cool, calm manner about him, and he kind of looked at me and said, "You should probably take a shower." He said it so plainly that I believed him. He obviously knew something I didn't. Apparently everyone did. It had been twenty-eight days since my last shower. I know because I felt a little proud about it. I also figured I swam in the ocean every day, and that's like nature's bath, right? Most people disagree. I liked the sand and wax and grit in my hair. I liked peeling feet and sunburn. I also liked that I could actually get away with not showering for a month. As I walked to the bathroom, I remember saying to myself with a little grin on my face, "I love being a guy."

Why It's Great to Be a Guy:

• A trip anywhere, for any amount of time, requires only one bag.

• We can kill our own food without any feelings of guilt for the bunny.

• A guy can dismiss almost any problem, annoyance, or confusing situation with the phrase "Whatever!" followed by walking away—a negative quality, according to females everywhere.

• We get extra credit for even the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

• We can pee standing up anywhere on earth.

• Car mechanics tell us the truth.

• We can sit quietly or play a game with a friend for hours without ever thinking, He must be mad at me.

• If someone forgets to tell us something important, he can still be our friend.

• If someone else shows up at a party in the same exact outfit we're wearing, we just found our new BFF.

• None of our buds ever traps us with statements like, "So, notice anything different?"

• No one expects us to know the names of more than five colors.

• We don't have to shave anywhere below the neck.

• A few loud burps and other "noises" are generally expected and tolerated by most people.

• All phone conversations can be done in under thirty seconds.

• Our bathroom lines are 97.8 percent shorter.

Weekends Are for Girls

Annie's weekend turned out pretty awesome, thanks to her natural female flair for fun and creativity. Friday afternoon she finished her report on female inventors of the past century, which included some really cool inventions like the fire escape, life raft, rotary engine, circular saw, Kevlar, and the chocolate chip cookie. Later, all of her friends came over for the first segment in a weekend of endless girl-only fun and relaxation. She and her sister cooked a theme meal for her girls'-night-in, which featured only Moroccan food. Then they piled in the basement that night with the amazing amount of pillows that only girls can conjure up, watched movies, talked until late in the night, and finally fell asleep with stomach pains from so much laughing.

The next morning Annie and her friends ate a great breakfast and headed out to a nature party in their favorite city park where they met up with a few more girlfriends. They planted trees and made a very eclectic design out of pinecones, leaves, and trimmings, which they left on display as a tribute to the event. Then the girls headed to a spa where they had pedicures and laughed about how guys never enjoy getting pampered like this. Energized, they went to the Cracked Pot, a pottery painting boutique, where they painted pottery to represent their own unique personalities. After dinner and bowling, they headed back to Annie's house for a girls' dance and karaoke party that went on for hours. Later, when Annie and two of her friends sat laughing on the couch, in a quick but insightful moment, her friend Nicole just looked at her and said, "Isn't it great to be girls?!"

One time I (Chad) was not a girl. In fact, I've always not been a girl. But I know some. And there are definitely some benefits to being a girl.

Why It's Great to Be a Girl:

• You can cry without pretending there's something under your contact.

• Speeding ticket? What's that?

• You actually get extra points for watching sports.

• If you're a lousy athlete, you don't necessarily question your worth as a human being.

• You don't feel the need to deny going to the tanning bed.

• You possibly could live your whole life without having to endure a group shower.

• You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose hair clippers.

• If the person you're dating is much better at something than you are, it doesn't kill your ego.

• Talking and people watching can be a great time.

• Your friend won't think you're weird when you ask if there's spinach in your teeth.

• If you're under six-feet tall, you don't have to lie about it.

• You'll never regret piercing your ears.

• You don't have to make awkward adjustments to private parts in public.

• If you have big ears, no one has to know.

• No one can ever say to you, "Stop acting like a girls."

Chapter Two

Waffles and Spaghetti

Teenager (n.) [lat adolescere = (to) grow] 1. is a transitional stage of physical and mental human development that occurs between childhood and adulthood. This transition involves biological, social, and psychological changes. 2. The time in life where people no longer have cooties; boys and girls act in even stranger ways, and the love bug often hits with all of its enormity and mystery. 3. a time period in which declaring one's independence is of utmost importance while they simultaneously depend on parents for almost everything including food; clothing; a bed; toilet paper; laundry services; and access to iTunes, the Internet, and various texting devices. In other words ... a very strange and somewhat delusional time in one's life.

Guys and girls are very different, plain and simple. Sure we have a lot in common; we both like oxygen, food, clothing (girls apparently more than guys), and pictures of baby polar bears. After these similarities, however, you will also find that we are often worlds apart.

If you want to have relationships that add to the quality of your life rather than make you exhausted, sad, frustrated, or hurt, try to understand the opposite sex a little more. Might I suggest thinking about it this way?

Guys are waffles, and girls are spaghetti.

At first this may seem silly, but stay with me. This picture really works, and guys "get it" because it involves food. Even as I write this I have a strange craving for pasta and waffles ...

Guys Are Waffles

Imagine the shape of a waffle. If you look closely at the waffle, you will notice it is basically a collection of boxes that are separated by walls. The boxes make convenient holding places. This way you can fill up some of the boxes with syrup and watch them ooze over into the other compartments. Or maybe I just love doing that. Either way, this might help illustrate how guys generally process life. Our thinking is divided up into boxes, and each of those boxes has room for one issue and one issue only. Family might go into one box, while girlfriend goes into another, while schoolwork is in yet another, and so on. The typical guy tends to live in one box at a time. When he is playing video games, he is simply playing video games. When he is playing sports or burning ants with a magnifying glass, he is playing sports or intensely focused on killing tiny insects in a terrible and fascinating way. Guys concentrate on one thing at a time. This is why he sometimes looks like he is in a trance and can seemingly ignore everything else going on around him. Psychologists call this "compartmentalizing"—that is, putting life and responsibilities into different compartments.

As a result of this compartmentalizing, guys are problem solvers by nature. They enter a box, size up the situation or the problem, and formulate a way to act on it or solve it. In the sports we guys choose to play, we consider what it will take to be successful, decide how good we might be able to be, and then focus on accomplishing some goals. In communication, guys usually are more concerned with the main point and getting there as quickly as possible. They are not as concerned with talking for lengths of time just to feel closer as they discuss something.

For guys social influence is also incredibly powerful, whether we know it or not. Being influential in a social way builds confidence, and it is attractive to girls. This is one reason guys spend time being the class clown, working on their sense of humor, achieving and succeeding in sports, and a thousand other things. This might help explain why guys crack jokes and don't seem to realize that it can hurt someone's feelings. Saying a girl has funny teeth in front of other people will not be funny to the girl, but the guy might be living in the "I'm a funny guy" box and forget about the "girls don't like to be embarrassed in front of everyone in class, you idiot" box. Time in the "apologize" box will be necessary later.

Class clown (n.) 1. The quintessential jokester who is usually a guy and compensating for a lack of stellar looks or ability to diligently do homework; he uses a sense of humor in hopes of scoring big with the ladies. 2. A big, attention-seeking, loud-mouth who will most likely end up in a sales position.

Here is a very important thing to know about guys as far as our waffle boxes go. A guy will strategically organize his life in boxes and then spend most of his time in the boxes where he is successful, where he gets attention, and where he gets affirmed. He will equally ignore the boxes and areas of his life that confuse him, make him feel like a failure, or where he gets little or no reward. Guys will avoid negative boxes like the plague. For instance, a guy named Joe finds out that by being funny, people will look up to him, he gets teased less, and girls seem to giggle and warm up to him more ... guess what? Joe is likely to spend time being the Funny Guy. If he gets bad grades in math class, unlike his buddy Adam, who gets great grades easily, then Joe will more than likely avoid that area as much as possible. Eleven times out of ten (I'm not great at math either), he will choose to spend time in the "ha ha" box.

Even in categories like laziness, guys think they can succeed. If a guy is bad at his job, or at meeting his parents' expectations and the expectations of other people around him, he may find out that he is pretty good at being lazy. I still have a number of friends who think this is a prestigious club. Girls usually disagree. Still, the guy may develop a commitment to being lazy because he knows he can do that today with the same proficiency as yesterday.

Guys also take this "success" approach to the way they communicate. If they talk to girls, their girlfriends, or other people's parents and get a desirable outcome or affirmation, they will be highly motivated to continue talking with these people. If, on the other hand (this will sound familiar to a lot of girls), the conversation seems pointless or he finds trying to understand the girl he is listening to impossible, he will lose motivation to talk and clam up! This might help shed some light on the moments where guys make very profound comments to girls, such as: "Where are you trying to go with this conversation? Can you just please get to the point?" Or the most common ... "What?" This word is usually accompanied by a furrowed brow, squinted eyes, and a wrinkled forehead. This means that the male is confused. A guy makes these statements out of frustration. Either he doesn't understand, or he doesn't know how to make the conversation work. For a guy, it's like being in the middle of a hockey game; you are playing hard and following all the rules, but then suddenly the rules change and the puck is gone and the score is measured in smiley faces. And then miniature horses come out onto the ice and start galloping all miniature horse-like! And suddenly all the other players start singing songs in unison and yelling, "We're winning, we're winning!" (I have had nightmares like that.) This is how lost guys can feel when they are trying to follow along with a talkative girl. There isn't a right or a wrong way; we're just very different. We don't understand what is happening, how to fix it, or what the main point is. We don't know how to succeed. And conversations like this can become a source of confusion and frustration.

On the other hand, because of his drive to succeed, when a guy finds something he is good at, it makes him feel great about himself and about his life. Guys tend to be very good at mechanical and spatial activities. This is why we get emotionally attached to building, fixing, and chasing things. Guys take on the things they do well at as part of their identity. This means that as far-fetched as the shoot-giant-guns-from-speeding-cars video game scenarios are, when guys succeed at them, this success transfers to how they perceive themselves. The bottom line is that guys will usually spend most of their time doing what they are best at while attempting to ignore the things that cause them to feel deficient ... or like losers. While girls may have the same tendency to stick to what they are good at, guys will often live by this habit.

Girls Are Spaghetti

In stark contrast to guys' waffle-like approach, girls tend to deal with life as though it were a plate of pasta. If you look at a plate of spaghetti, you will notice that there are a lot of individual noodles and all of the noodles touch one another. If you attempted to follow just one noodle around the plate, you would intersect a lot of other noodles, and you might even switch to another noodle seamlessly without realizing it. This is how girls face life. Every thought, feeling, and issue is connected to every other thought, feeling, and issue in some way.

This is why girls typically are better at multitasking than guys. A girl can talk on the phone, paint her toenails, shop online, dabble with her algebra homework, and picture what her wedding will look like while simultaneously texting and eating. Because all her thoughts, emotions, and convictions are connected, she processes more information and keeps track of more activities taking place.

As a result of this, most girls pursue a life that is connected. Even as I write, I am witnessing this. I'm in a little coffee shop, and sitting next to me are three girls who are very loud. They are moving from one topic to another so quickly that I am about to get a nosebleed from trying to follow them. I'm not meaning to eavesdrop; they are just loud. I can't understand the point of anything they are saying because they are all talking at the same time. How they understand each other, I have no idea. But, magically using girl power, they do.

Because girls have these incomprehensible conversational skills, when it comes to solving problems they have a very different perspective than guys. Girls don't look to solve all problems with simple and fast solutions. Girls, much more than guys, desire to talk things through. This helps them process the situation. Guys usually try to process in their heads by themselves first. Through conversation girls can link together the logical, emotional, relational, and spiritual aspects of an issue. These links come to girls naturally, so a spaghetti conversation is effortless for them.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Guys Are Waffles Girls Are Spaghetti by Chad Eastham Bill Farrel Pam Farrel Copyright © 2009 by Chad Eastham, Bill Farrel, and Pam Farrel. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 33 )
Rating Distribution

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(20)

4 Star

(7)

3 Star

(3)

2 Star

(1)

1 Star

(2)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 34 Customer Reviews
  • Posted September 8, 2011

    Helpful and simple.

    Chad writes this analytical and insightful book in a term that can be read by any maturing age seeking wisdom. It is detailed and deep enough for this 17 year old honors student to not feel underminded, yet simple enough to explain to the 15 year old with his first chest hair who is confused and searching for answers. This book is well worth reading and I suggest it to any maturing party, male or female.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted March 20, 2011

    wow!

    this book was very insightful. it is hilarious, simplistic, yet informative. it is a must-read!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 19, 2011

    Chad

    Chad Eastman is such a great speaker! So just imagine how great his book is! i recommend :)

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 18, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Chad Eastham makes me laugh, and that's a very good thing

    Review by Jill Williamson

    Chad Eastham makes me laugh. And that's a very good thing when you're talking about serious subjects, like relationships. In this book, Chad explains how girls' brains and guys' brains are different and how that affects the way girls and guys behave. It's fascinating and oh so true.

    This book is gold. There is so much wisdom between these pages. You want to know what's up with boys? Or why girls do that? Whatever your question is, Chad knows the answer. This book will help you understand the opposite sex, which is a skill that will be valuable your whole life. I highly recommend this book for all teenagers, because it's that good. And it's funny too.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 18, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Lost my appetite.

    I was really hopeful this book would be a fun, smart look at the differences between boys and girls, instead, it's a rather sterotypical look at boys vs. girls, mars vs. venus and now, spagetti vs. waffles.

    Summing up the book in a few short phrases: boys like to be smelly, are competitive, truly do not understand girls and like to focus on one thing (here is where the waffle analgogy comes in). They have individual "boxes" just like waffles, where they spend their time and they dislike switching from box to box, instead they prefer to concentrate on one thing at a time.

    Now, for the girls. They are like spagetti, everything is intertwined, so they can begin on one topic and find themselves ending up on a completely different subject because everything is so connected. They can also multitask because they are not limited by "boxes", they have the complete freedom of a whole plate of noodles. This is why they talk so much and confound boys. This is also why they are so difficult to understand, since they do not concentrate on the facts, but feelings.

    Sound a little bit sexist? It did to me, but then again I am a mom.
    Though there might be the obvious truth to the fact that boys and girls think and act differently, it felt a little too generalized for me and most certainly slanted to a guy's point of view.

    The book also has too many unpleasant religious aspects in my opinion. I am a Christian and have no issue with presenting good, clean facts to address awkward subjects like bodies and relationships and sex, but I really can't agree with the thought that ever since Eve, girls have felt shame and need to work on this...or that ever since Adam, boys have been perverted and need to work on that.

    Throughout the book there are little blurbs as well between Chad (the author) and MacKenzie (the girl editor). I am sure they are there to present a bit of a female slant to this very male book, but they are awkward and detract from the book rather than enhancing it. If they would have had a male and female perspective throughout it might have seemed more balanced. Instead, this is very much Chad's book with some editing (and other bizarre) comments by MacKenzie.

    Just not what I had hoped for to enlighten my son & daughter about the opposite sex. Too bad, since it's a good subject to relate to them, this just isn't it for me.

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 22, 2010

    Very real book

    I went to this book thinking that it was going to help me with understanding girls and all that but it really went beond my expectations i am a guy and this guy speaks for an all teen girls tour but this book is for both guys and girls. you wont be disepointed when you read this book It is really funny also you'll read it and go twords the opposite sex and be able to understand them better. READ IT YOU WILL NOT BE DISIPOINTED!!!!!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 1, 2010

    this guy knows what he's talkin' about!!!

    this book explains some things we may not understand about guys and girls. how we're different, how we're the same. Chad talks about situations and problems we could face with the opposite sex in a very humorous way.you can't expect one person to know everything about both genders, but Chad Eastham does better than most. in his book he explains a lot of things, like the great things about being a guy or girl, body language, interactions, confusing situations, and the meanings of some things we may misinterpret.

    he's as funny and clear in his book as he is when he speaks to a crowd. this book also focuses on God's plan for your life and the importance of him above anything or anyone.

    i loved the way he put our genders simply. guys are waffles, they put everything in their life into simple boxes, and do one thing at a time. girls are spaghetti, connecting things in their life and multitasking. along with those there's an endless amount of great analogies and funny stories also.

    i recommend this book a million times over, it was so helpful not only for understanding how and why we do things,the comparison of our genders, and for caring for others in the right way, but also for finding out who you are and what we really want in other people.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 15, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Awesome!

    This book is awesome.It's helped. I totally reccomend it!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 24, 2014

    To christiangirl age 13- advice

    It sounds like you like both of these guys. J is a year older than you, so try to talk to him. Say hi. Strike up a conversation. Since hes older i wouldnt suggest dating since at your age the difference is just wierd. As for t, it sounds like your lashing out that one night scared him off and maybe embaarassed him. He is probably a little nervous around you. Not a big problem. Just tell him your sorry and be friendly with him. You may become friends, maybe not. Its ok, just know that that barrier is broken and he knows you are a nice person. Good luck and happy living.
    Ashley K.- age 13

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 8, 2014

    To K

    Ok so i like two guys one we will call j and the other we will call t. Problem one i never see j. Problem two i told t i did not like him wensday night so he would stop looking at me as if i was crazy. Problem three j is older than me by one year. Problem four t seems uncomfterbal around me oh sure he will talk to me but that is it he usually just says hi no more. They are both Christians. What should i do? Who should i choose? Reply to Christian Girl age 13 grade 8th

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 4, 2014

    Wow..

    Im the first review of 2014 that is soooo cool. That is awesome,wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
    Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 11, 2013

    Need advice

    Ask K !!!!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 8, 2013

    Eyeyeyeyeyeyeyyeyeeyyyeehahahifbgsjdjfuuehhfhfhhc

    Hey guys anyone wanna have some fun

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 7, 2012

    Plz read this!

    I gotta say im with the 11 year old that posted on nov 13.
    Only,im 14,not 11.lol.

    -lexie

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 27, 2012

    THIS GUY KNOWS HIS STUFF!!!!

    THIS GUY KNOWS HIS STUFF!!!!!!!(:

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 12, 2012

    Pretty good.

    I really lke it. It had humor and info on how girls and boys brains work. The only thing I didn't like about it was all the mention of sex. I'm 11 and am not thinking of sex at all.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 30, 2012

    Yaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This book is 100% golden. Read it, read it! You will enjoy fun humor as well as learn alot about to opposite gender.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 17, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted November 10, 2011

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 10, 2012

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