Hauling Checks: A Novel

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Overview

I'm a cargo pilot. In the industry, I'm known as a "Freight Dog." I fly canceled checks and other types of high-value cargo around the country, mostly at night, in airplanes that are older than I am. Flying freight-or "work" as we call it-in small, twin-engine aircraft is a lesser known side of the aviation world. Our day starts when banker's hours end. Thousands of flights move millions of pounds of work from city to city every night while the rest of the country is asleep.

We're out there in the freezing rain getting de-iced when you're laying down for bed. We're sweeping the snow off our wings with a broom at three ...

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More About This Book

Overview

I'm a cargo pilot. In the industry, I'm known as a "Freight Dog." I fly canceled checks and other types of high-value cargo around the country, mostly at night, in airplanes that are older than I am. Flying freight-or "work" as we call it-in small, twin-engine aircraft is a lesser known side of the aviation world. Our day starts when banker's hours end. Thousands of flights move millions of pounds of work from city to city every night while the rest of the country is asleep.

We're out there in the freezing rain getting de-iced when you're laying down for bed. We're sweeping the snow off our wings with a broom at three in the morning. That horrible thunderstorm you heard last night while you were sleeping, we were flying through it. The fog you woke up to in the early morning hours, we were landing in it.

Hauling Checks is a comedy about the darker side of aviation. A cast of degenerate pilots, who work for a shady night time air cargo operation, take you on a flight through the unfriendly skies. The pilots abuse every Reg in the book in their quest to make deadlines for their high value cargo. As the company falls on hard times, management resorts to questionable measures to save the failing airline.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781449563332
  • Publisher: CreateSpace
  • Publication date: 11/12/2009
  • Pages: 168
  • Sales rank: 894,207
  • Product dimensions: 8.00 (w) x 5.25 (h) x 0.39 (d)

Meet the Author

Alex Stone grew up in Munster, Indiana. He's been flying since age fourteen and received a Bachelor's Degree in Aviation Science from Western Michigan University. He has worked as a flight instructor and has been a "Freight Dog" in the air cargo industry for four years.

Read an Excerpt

Before long, the storms were right in front of us. I scanned the radar to find the path of least resistance through the line. As we entered the weather, the turbulence started to kick up, and heavy rain began to hammer the plane. I tightened my lap belt and turned up the cockpit lights to drown out the lightning. The plane got tossed around like a rag doll as the updrafts and downdrafts took us.

"Ask for a block altitude," I told Chip. This would allow us to ride the waves through the storm easier without having to maintain a constant altitude. Chip didn't say a word. "Chip, you hear me?" I yelled. I looked over and realized he was catatonic. He sat there in his seat, staring straight ahead like he was looking into the face of a ghost.

I got the block altitude myself. It seems like no matter who I fly with I always get stuck doing all the work.

Damn worthless copilots!

The lightning flashed as bright as daylight all around us as I continued to fight the storm. The lights in the rear cargo area flickered on and off as the boxes bounced around back there hitting the light switch. I watched our airspeed as it fluctuated wildly up and down, continually making power adjustments to keep the plane within tolerances. Saint Elmo's fire crept up the windscreen, and the radios blared with static interference.

That's when I smelled the s***, literally. Chip had s*** himself.

The weather was over before long as we punched out the backside of the line but the s*** smell stayed for the rest of the night. What was worse was that, when Chip came out of his catatonic state and started speaking to air traffic control again, he started crying on the radio, sayingthings like "Tell myparents I love them," and "I'm too young to die."

"Will you calm down?" I said. "You're spilling your placenta all over the radio."

I had to pull his headset cords out of the mic jacks to save us from further embarrassment.

Excerpted from Hauling Checks by Alex Stone Copyright © 2009 by Alexander W. Stone. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpt is provided by AWS Books solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
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Sort by: Showing 1 – 4 of 5 Customer Reviews

  • Posted December 20, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    9780679785897 883929058006 9781588341372 12236106821 9780806532257

    Aviation meets "The Hangover"

    "Hauling Checks" is the story of a horribly disfunctional freight airline in it's twilight. Hilarity ensues as the moraly questionable employees of Checkflight make all the wrong descisions, finding themselves in one predicament after another. The characters are memorable and the laughs are non-stop. Highly recommended!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted April 5, 2011

    I Also Recommend:

    9780671636036

    Irreverent Comedic Read!,

    Examining the hilarious underside of the cargo shipping business is Hauling Checks by Alex Stone. The narrator is a "freight dog," a cargo pilot, employed by Checkflight, a company that primarily transports checks for banks. Unfortunately, for Checkflight the modern world is transitioning from paper instruments of payment to electronic payments. This drives the unscrupulous company to extreme cost-cutting measures such as using barely serviceable planes to employing pilots with sketchy or non-existent credentials. As Checkflight's business situation worsens the Chief, the owner, concocts increasingly desperate measures to keep the company flying, including, transporting farm animals; illegal drugs; and money laundering. In the midst of this chaos is the narrator, a relatively conscientious pilot, who is surrounded by a cast of misfits, drunkards, pathological liars, and other degenerates. Stone is a talented writer with a deft comedic touch. For instance, witness this passage: What's your first instinct when the Feds show up for a ramp check? Show them your certificates? Maybe if you work for another airline. If you work for Checkflight, set the plane on fire and run for the fence. If you get caught, deny everything, claim you've never seen the plane before in your life. Hauling Checks is an irreverent and entertaining read!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 20, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    9780671636036

    This book was funny!

    I don't think I've ever laughed this hard reading before. Go Freight Dogs!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 22, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

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