Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World: Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life

by Joanna Weaver

Overview

CBA BESTSELLER • More than a million copies sold! An invitation for every woman who’s ever felt she isn’t godly enough, isn’t loving enough, isn’t doing enough.

“Easy to read, personal, and well-written with a message much more than surface deep. Joanna probed, challenged, and encouraged me to live day by day as Mary in a Martha world.”—Carole Mayhall, author of Come Walk with Me and Here I Am Again, Lord

The life of a woman today isn’t all that different from the lives of Mary and Martha in the New Testament. Like Mary, you long to sit at the Lord’s feet . . . but the daily demands of a busy world just won’t leave you alone. Like Martha, you love Jesus and really want to serve him . . . yet you struggle with weariness, resentment, and feelings of inadequacy.

Then comes Jesus, into the midst of your busy life, to extend the same invitation he issued long ago to the two sisters from Bethany. Tenderly, he invites you to choose “the better part”—a joyful life of intimacy with him that flows naturally into loving service.

With her fresh approach to the familiar Bible story, Joanna Weaver shows how all of us, Marys and Marthas alike, can draw closer to our Lord: deepening our devotion, strengthening our service, and doing both with less stress and greater joy.

This book includes a twelve-week Bible study for individual or group use. A Study Guide and a corresponding ten-session video series on DVD or online are available separately.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781578562589
Publisher:	Random House Publishing Group
Publication date:	07/18/2000
Edition description:	Revised
Pages:	256
Sales rank:	104,905
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Joanna Weaver is the bestselling and award-winning author of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, which has sold more than one million copies. Her other books include Having a Mary Spirit, Lazarus Awakening, At the Feet of Jesus, and Embracing Trust. Her articles have appeared in such publications as Focus on the Family, Guideposts, and In Touch. The parents of three, Joanna and her pastor husband, John, live in Montana.

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1: A Tale of Two Sisters

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.

LUKE 10 : 38 - 39


Have you ever tried to do it all?

I have, I do, and I probably always will. It’s not only in my nature; it’s also in my job description—and yours, too. Being a woman requires more stamina, more creativity, and more wisdom than I ever dreamed as a young girl. And that’s not just true for today’s busy women. It has always been the case.

In 1814, Martha Forman was married to a wealthy Maryland plantationowner. You might expect she spent her days sipping tea, being fitted for lovely gowns, and giving orders to her servants as she chatted with important guests. Instead, Martha worked right beside her servants from four in the morning to eleven o’clock at night. Among her daily activities were the following:

Making thirty to thirty-four pounds of old tallow into candles; cutting out fourteen shirts, jackets or trousers; knitting stockings; washing; dyeing and spinning wool; baking mince pies and potato puddings; sowing wheat or reaping it; killing farm animals and salting the meat; planting or picking fruits and vegetables; making jams, jellies, and preserves with her fruit; helping whitewash or paint walls; ironing; preparing for large parties; caring for the sick . . . 

So, what did you do today? You may not have slaughtered a hog or harvested wheat, but I know you were busy. Whether you were out selling real estate or at home kissing boo-boos (or both), your day passed just as quickly. And your mind and body are probably as tired as poor Martha Forman’s as you steal a few moments to spend with this book.

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. The thought intrigues you. Deep inside of you there is a hunger, a calling, to know and love God. To truly know Jesus Christ and the fellowship of the Spirit. You’re not after more head knowledge—it’s heart-to-heart intimacy you long for.

Yet a part of you hangs back. Exhausted, you wonder how to find the strength or time. Nurturing your spiritual life seems like one more duty—one more thing to add to a life that is spilling over with responsibilities.

It’s almost as if you’re standing on the bottom rung of a ladder that stretches up to heaven. Eager but daunted, you name the rungs with spiritual things you know you should do: study the Bible, pray, fellowship . . . 

“He’s up there somewhere,” you say, swaying slightly as you peer upward, uncertain how to begin or if you even want to attempt the long, dizzy climb. But to do nothing means you will miss what your heart already knows: There is more to this Christian walk than you’ve experienced. And you’re just hungry enough—just desperate enough—to want it all.

A TALE OF TWO SISTERS

Perhaps no passage of Scripture better describes the conflict we feel as womenthan the one we find in the gospel of Luke. Just mention the names Mary and Martha around a group of Chris tian women and you’ll get knowing looks andnervous giggles. We’ve all felt the struggle. We want to worship like Mary, but the Martha inside keeps bossing us around.

Here’s a refresher course in case you’ve forgotten the story. It’s found in Luke. It’s the tale of two sisters. It’s the tale of you and me.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (10:38-42)

A MARTHA WORLD

When I read the first part of Mary and Martha’s story, I must admit I find myself cheering for Martha. I know we tend to sing Mary’s praises in Bible studies. But Martha, to be honest, appeals more to my perfectionist tendencies.

What a woman! She opens her home to a band of thirteen hungry men, possibly more. What a hostess! She doesn’t whip up an impromptu casserole of Kraft macaroni and cheese and Ballpark franks as I’ve been known to do on occasion. Not her! She is the original Martha Stewart, the New Testament’s Proverbs 31 woman, and Israel’s answer to Betty Crocker. Or at least that’s the way I imagine her. She’s the Queen of the Kitchen—and the rest of the house as well.

And Luke’s story starts with Martha in her glory. After all, this is Jesus. She scraps her ordinary everyday menu of soup and bread and pulls out all her cookbooks. This, she decides, will be a banquet fit for a messiah. For the Messiah. Martha sends one servant to the field to slaughter a lamb, another to the market to pick up a few of those luscious pomegranates she saw yesterday. Like a military general, she barks commands to her kitchen staff. Soak the lentils! Pound the grain! Knead the dough!

So many things to do and so little time. She must make sure the centerpiece and the napkins match, that the servant pours the wine from the right and not the left. Martha’s mind is as busy as a room filled with kindergartners. What would be just right for dessert? A little goat cheese with a tray of fresh fruit? Will Jesus and his followers stay overnight? Someone must change the sheets and fold some towels.

“Where’s Mary? Has anyone seen Mary?” she asks a servant scurrying by. If Mary changed the sheets, Martha might have time to fashion an ark from the cheese and carve the fruit into little animals marching two by two. Productions of this magnitude require the skill of a master planner. And Martha’s an administrator extraordinaire—a whirling dervish of efficiency, with a touch of Tasmanian she-devil thrown in to motivate the servants.

I happen to be the oldest in my family. Perhaps that’s why I understand how frustrated Martha must have felt when she finally found Mary. The entire householdis in an uproar, busy making ready to entertain the most famous teacher of their day, the man most likely to become the next king of Israel. I can relate to the anger that boils up inside of Martha at the sight of her lazy sibling sitting at the Master’s feet in the living room.

It’s simply too much. With everything still left to do, there sits little Mary, being quite contrary, crashing a party meant only for men. But worse, she seems oblivious to all of Martha’s gesturing from the hall.

Martha tries clearing her throat. She even resorts to her most effective tool: the “evil eye,” famous for stopping grown men in their tracks. But nothing shedoes has any effect on her baby sister. Mary only has eyes for Jesus.

Pushed to the limit, Martha does something unprecedented. She interrupts the boys’ club, certain that Jesus will take her side. After all, a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Her sister, Mary, should be helping prepare the meal.

Martha realizes there is a cutting edge to her voice, but Jesus will understand. He, of all people, knows what it’s like to carry the weight of the world.

Now of course, you won’t find all that in the Bible. Luke tends to downplay the whole story, dedicating only four verses to an event that was destined to change Martha’s life forever. And mine as well. And yours, if you will let the simple truth of this passage soak deep into your heart.

Instead of applauding Martha, Jesus gently rebukes her, telling her Mary has chosen “what is better.” Or, as another translation puts it, “Mary has chosen the better part” (NRSV).

“The better part?” Martha must have echoed incredulously.

“The better part!” I say to God in the midst of my own whirl of activity. “You mean there’s more? I have to do more?”

No, no, comes the answer to my tired heart. Jesus’ words in Luke 10 areincredibly freeing to those of us on the performance treadmill of life.

It isn’t “more” he requires of us.

In fact, it may be less.

Reading Group Guide

Nothing has transformed my life like the study of God’s Word. Something powerful happens when we go beyond other people’s opinions and revelations and discover for ourselves what God has to say. I designed this twelveweek
Bible study to help you do just that.

I recommend using a translation of the Bible that you enjoy and understand,
as well as a notebook and a pen to record your answers. Before each lesson, ask the Holy Spirit to increase your understanding as you examine
God’s Word and then help you apply the truths you discover.

Each lesson starts with questions for individual reflection or group discussion,
then moves into a study of scriptural principles. At the end of the lesson,
you’ll have an opportunity to write about what spoke most to you in that chapter. The stories, quotes, and sidebars within the chapters may provide further opportunities for discussion or reflection.

My prayer is that each of you will begin to experience the blessing God promises to those who look “intently into the perfect law that gives freedom…
not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it” (James 1:25). There is a holy makeover waiting for each one of us. It is found in God’s presence and within the pages of his Word. Dig in, ladies! You’ll be glad you did.

1. CHAPTER ONE: A TALE OF TWO SISTERS
Questions for Discussion or Reflection
What preconceived ideas did you have about Mary and Martha before reading this book? Which woman do you relate to most—
Mary or Martha? Explain your answer.

2. One woman told me, “My life is like a blender—and it’s stuck on frappé!” What inanimate object best describes how your life currently feels?

3. Going Deeper
Read Luke 10:38-42. List at least two things you learn about Martha in this passage and at least two things you learn about Mary. How would you sum up Martha in one word? How would you sum up
Mary?

4. A woman told me, “I guess I’m just a Martha and that I’ll always be a Martha.” Is it possible for our basic character to change, or are we destined to live our lives stuck in a predetermined nature? Explain your answer.

5. What does the Bible say in the following verses about our potential for change?
Ezekiel 36:26-27 ______________________________________
2 Corinthians 5:17 _____________________________________
Philippians 1:6 ________________________________________

6. Have you seen God’s work of transformation in your own life or someone else’s? How did you know it was a “holy makeover” and not just a temporary “facelift”?

7. Read Matthew 11:28-30. Circle key words and meditate on these verses—really think about what Jesus is saying. Then memorize this passage phrase by phrase. Write it on an index card, and refer to it frequently, repeating it until it becomes a part of you.

8. What spoke most to you in this chapter?

9. CHAPTER TWO: “ LORD, DON’ T YOU CARE? ”
Questions for Discussion or Reflection
The story of Mary and Martha stirs up memories of sibling rivalry for many of us. What battles with your siblings do you remember the most? What did you do to get your parents to notice you?

10. Read Luke 10:38-42. Have you ever asked Martha’s question, “Lord,
don’t you care?” What was the situation? How did God answer your question?

11. Going Deeper
All of us have felt alone—even great heroes of the faith felt this way.
Read 1 Kings 19:1-18. How did the “Deadly Ds” of distraction, discouragement,
and doubt attack Elijah after the great victory over the prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 18? I’ve completed the first one as an example:
DISTRACTION: Jezebel’s anger made him run for his life.
DISCOURAGEMENT: __________________________________
DOUBT: ____________________________________________

12. In this passage how did God minister to Elijah in the midst of his discouragement?
How has God ministered to you when you felt alone and were hurting?

13. In Mark 4:35-41 the disciples echoed Martha’s question: “Don’t you care?” What does this portion of Scripture teach us about the difficult times in our lives? (Consider Isaiah 43:1-2.)

14. Read Psalm 103. List at least five of the many ways God shows his love for us. (If you are struggling to know the Father’s love,
consider memorizing this chapter so you won’t forget “all his benefits.”)

15. Write Jesus a letter beginning with “Lord, I know you love me because…,” and list the ways he has shown his great love for you.

16. What spoke most to you in this chapter?

17. CHAPTER THREE: THE DI AGNOSIS
Questions for Discussion or Reflection
Martha wanted Jesus to tell Mary to help out in the kitchen, but instead of giving her what she wanted, Dr. Jesus made a diagnosis:
“Martha, Martha…you are worried and upset about many things.” If you had been Martha, how would Jesus’ words have made you feel?

18. According to Dr. Edward Hallowell, over half of us are chronic worriers.
Which of the ten signs of a big worrier on page 33 do you struggle with? How do worry and anxiety spill over into your daily life and affect your behavior? your physical health?

19. Going Deeper
Fear not only affects us physically but spiritually. Read Luke 8:14. List three things that may choke the Word of God out of our lives. Which one do you struggle with most, and how does it choke you spiritually?

20. Look at the “Concern and Worry” diagram on page 38, and read the quote from Gary E. Gilley. What concerns are you currently facing?
What worries?

21. What do the following passages tell us to do with our worries and concerns, and what will be the result?
Proverbs 3:5-6 COMMAND: _____________________
RESULT: _____________________
Philippians 4:6-7 COMMAND: _____________________
RESULT: _____________________

22. a. Rewrite Matthew 6:25-30 as if God were speaking directly to you and your current situation.
Therefore, I tell you, ______________, do not worry about…
b. Read Matthew 6:31-34. Respond to this passage in a prayer to the
Lord.
Lord, I don’t want to worry as the world does. Help me to…

23. According to 1 John 4:16-18, how can we respond to God’s love, and what will happen to fear when we do?

24. What spoke most to you in this chapter?

25. CHAPTER FOUR: THE CURE
Questions for Discussion or Reflection
Read the wagon and the rocks story on pages 48-51. Take a look in your wagon. Which rocks has God asked you to carry? Which rocks have you unwisely and sometimes unconsciously volunteered to carry for someone else?

26. Do you ever feel the driven, perfectionistic, spiritual Martha Stewart coming out in you? What does she look like at home? What does she look like at church?

27. Going Deeper
What do you think Jesus meant in Luke 10:38-42 when he told
Martha that only one thing was needed?

28. a. Turn a few pages, to Luke 18:18-25, to another exchange Jesus had. What qualification did the rich young ruler give for entering the kingdom of God?
b. What was the one thing Jesus said he lacked?
c. Why do you think Christ focused on his wealth?
d. Why may the one thing God asks us to do be different from what he requires of someone else? (Consider 1 Corinthians 13:3 and
Philippians 3:4-7.)

29. Perhaps like the rich young ruler you find yourself trying to perform for God, carrying more rocks in hopes of earning God’s love and favor. What do the following verses say about works-based Christianity?
Galatians 3:3 _________________________________________
Titus 3:5 _____________________________________________

30. What did Paul say in Philippians 3:13-14 was his “one thing”? Why was forgetting what was behind him so important for Paul? (Consider
Acts 26:9-15.) What things in your past hold you back from experiencing all God has for you? Take a moment to ask the Lord to help you let go of anything that holds you back.

31. Using the guidelines on page 55, sit down this week and begin
“dumping rocks.” But before you start, ask the Lord for wisdom
(James 1:5). He loves to give it, and he wants to set us free!

32. What spoke most to you in this chapter?

33. CHAPTER F I V E : LIVING ROOM INTIMACY
Questions for Discussion or Reflection
Someone has said that each of us is created “with a God-shaped hole”
and that we will never be truly satisfied until we fill that space with him. Unfortunately many of us, as Teri described on page 69, fill up on spiritual Snicker Bars. What do you turn to instead of God when you’re feeling empty?

34. I’ve written that intimacy with God comes through Prayer + the
Word + Time. Which of these three disciplines is most difficult for you? Which comes easiest?

35. We all face barriers to intimacy with God. Put a check by the one or two you struggle with most, then look up the verses next to that barrier.
Circle the verse that is most meaningful to you.
____ Unworthiness (Isaiah 41:9-10; Ephesians 2:13-14)
____ Busyness (Psalm 90:12; Isaiah 40:29-31)
____ Guilt / Shame (Psalm 32:5; 1 John 1:9)
____ Pride (Psalm 10:4; James 4:6-7)
____ Depression (Psalm 42:11; John 14:1)
____ Trials / Hard- (Hebrews 13:6; 2 Corinthians 4:7-10)
ships

36. Meditate on the verse you circled, then personalize it in the form of a prayer to God. Here is an example based on 1 John 1:9.
God, thank you for the forgiveness that comes when I admit my sin rather than deny it. I’m so glad I don’t have to clean up my act before I come to you. All I have to do is come. You promise to do the cleaning.

37. I’ve written that before we become Christians, Satan tells us we don’t need a Savior. After we become Christians, he tells us we don’t deserve a Savior. How have these lies affected your walk with God?

38. God longs to have fellowship with us. Read the following verses, and describe the metaphor Scripture uses to describe the intimate relationship we can have with God.
John 15:5 ___________________________________________
Romans 8:15-16 ______________________________________
2 Corinthians 11:2 ____________________________________

39. Read the excerpt from “My Heart Christ’s Home” (pages 72-73).
How does it make you feel to think that Jesus longs to have time alone with you—to be at home in you? How could this realization turn your devotional life from a duty to a delight?

40. What spoke most to you in this chapter?

41. CHAPTER S I X : K I TCHEN SERVICE
Questions for Discussion or Reflection
Dwight L. Moody said, “Of one hundred men, one will read the
Bible; the ninety-nine will read the Christian.”1 Who was the first
Christian in your life to live in such a way that you could clearly see
Christ? How did this person affect your life?

42. Read the story of the little boy and the evangelist on page 97. How would you like Jesus to “stick out all over” your life—that is, what attitudes and characteristics of the Savior would you like God to develop in your life?

43. Going Deeper
Read John 13:1-17. Jesus’ washing of the disciples’ feet was a totally unexpected example of what true Christian love should look like.
According to page 82, why was it so shocking?

44. J. Oswald Sanders said, “It is noteworthy that only once did Jesus say that he was leaving his disciples an example, and that was when he washed their feet.”2 In what unexpected ways could we wash the feet of those around us?

45. Place one (or more) of the following letters beside each verse that follows.
In this passage Jesus ministered (a) as he went on his way; (b) as he went out of his way; (c) in all kinds of ways.
______ Mark 1:29-34
______ Mark 6:30-34
______ Mark 7:31-35

46. How could you practically administer Christ’s love in each of these ways? I’ve completed the first one as an example.
As I go on my way: I thank the school crossing guard for keeping my kids safe.
As I go out of my way: __________________________________
In all kinds of ways: ___________________________________

47. Read Acts 3:1-10. What can we learn from this passage about how to actively show God’s love to those around us?

48. What spoke most to you in this chapter?

49. CHAPTER SEVEN: THE BETTER PART
Questions for Discussion or Reflection
Read the “hoopy birthday” story on pages 99–100. Name the Hula-
Hoop responsibilities you have in your life. Which one is the most difficult to keep in motion?

50. Consider Wilbur Rees’s thought-provoking words:
I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please, not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine. I don’t want enough of Him to make me love a black man or pick beets with a migrant. I want ecstasy, not transformation; I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth. I want a pound of the
Eternal in a paper sack. I would like to buy $3 worth of God,
please.3
In all honesty, how much of God do you want? What keeps you from wanting more?

51. Going Deeper
We live with so much less than God intended us to have. Ask God to illuminate your understanding as you read Paul’s prayer for believers in Ephesians 3:16-19. Then list three truths from this passage you’d like God to make real in your life.

52. How does Matthew 6:33 relate to Stephen Covey’s “First Things
First” principle (page 103)—that is, putting in the big rocks first?
Give an example of a time you found this principle true in your life.

53. Read on pages 107-108 about Sidlow Baxter’s personal struggle to develop a devotional time. How important is our will in this process of seeking God? How important are our emotions?

54. Explain how the following Bible characters chose to put God first despite overwhelming emotions or circumstances.
David (2 Samuel 12:13-23) _____________________________
Daniel (Daniel 6:3-10) _________________________________
Jesus (Matthew 26:36-39) _______________________________

55. Use the “Journal the Journey” outline in Appendix D and the instructions on page 114 to meditate on and write about one of the following passages.
Psalm 139 Romans 8 Ephesians 4
Isaiah 55 1 Corinthians 13 James 1

56. What spoke most to you in this chapter?

57. CHAPTER EIGHT: LESSONS FROM LAZARUS
What is your favorite kind of story and why?
Romance Mystery Biography
Adventure Sci-Fi Fantasy

58. Which of the following lessons from Lazarus have you found most true in your life? Explain the circumstances involved and what you learned.
• God’s will does not always proceed in a straight line.
• God’s love sometimes tarries for our good and his glory.
• God’s ways are not our ways, but his character is still dependable.
• God’s plan is released when we believe and obey.
• The “end” is never the end; it is only the beginning.

59. Going Deeper
Read John 11:1-6. Circle key words, and think about this family’s situation and Jesus’ response. When you face difficulties, which of these verses might comfort you most and why?

60. Because time and space confine us, we can’t always see what is really happening. What do the following verses say about this in-between time in which we find ourselves?
John 16:33 ___________________________________________
Hebrews 11:13-16 _____________________________________
James 1:2-4 __________________________________________

61. Martha Tennison says, “We only trust people we know. If you’re struggling to trust God, it may be because you don’t really know
God.”4We come to know God better through his Word. What do the following verses reveal about our heavenly Father?
Psalm 27:1 “The Lord is ___________________________.”
Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is ___________________________.”
Psalm 100:5 “The Lord is ___________________________.”
Psalm 145:8 “The Lord is ___________________________.”

62. Look up the word trust in a concordance. Find two phrases that speak to you, and write out the corresponding verses.

63. Laura Barker Snow writes about the difficult times we all face and how we need to view such times through the sovereignty and goodness of God, to live as if God is saying:
My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread. It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your inmost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head.… This thing is from ME.5
How would your life be different if you could receive these words as truth and not only truth but as evidence of God’s love in your life?

64. What spoke most to you in this chapter?

65. CHAPTER NINE: MARTHA’ S TEACHABLE HEART
Questions for Discussion or Reflection
Which of the following best describes the kind of student you were in school?
Intellectual Absent-Though-Present Teacher’s Pet
Procrastinator Party Animal High Achiever
What did you like most about school? What did you like least? How have you carried these likes and dislikes into adulthood?

66. Think of someone you consider teachable. What character qualities make you view him or her that way?

67. Going Deeper
Fill out the “Are You Teachable?” questionnaire on page 139. What did you discover about yourself?

68. We have to accept the diagnosis if we’re ever going to experience the cure.
I believe Martha did just that. Read Luke 10:38-42. Now read John
11:17-28. What differences do you see in Martha in these two stories?

69. Read Hebrews 12:5-11, and then list four reasons why God disciplines us and four results of that discipline.
REASONS RESULTS
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________

70. The Bible is filled with if-then propositions. If we will…, then God will… What do the following verses promise us if we obey? I’ve filled out the first verse for you.
Joshua 1:8 If… I meditate on God’s Word and do it,
then… I will be prosperous and successful.
John 8:31-32 If… _________________________________
then… _________________________________
James 1:25 If… _________________________________
then… _________________________________

71. God is willing to forgive and change us—even at our very worst.
Consider the prayer David prayed in Psalm 51:10-12 after his murderous,
adulterous affair with Bathsheba. Rewrite this cry for transformation in your own words. Then read it aloud to the Lord.

72. What spoke most to you in this chapter?

73. Describe a time you expressed love and concern for others and were misunderstood. How did it make you feel? Did you pull back or press in closer?

74. Consider the differences between Mary’s and Judas’s love for Christ:
MARY… JUDAS…
• had a heart of gratitude • had a heart of greed
• came with abandon • came with an agenda
• heard what Jesus said • heard but did not and responded understand
• held nothing back • gave nothing up
Which aspect of Mary’s love comes easiest to you? Which aspect is the most difficult for you?

75. Going Deeper
Read John 12:1-11. What was Judas’s response to Mary’s extravagant love? What did John say was the motivation behind his response?

76. Read Matthew 16:21-23. What was Peter’s response to Jesus’ explanation that he must die? What did Jesus say was the motivation behind his response?

77. Read another account of Mary’s anointing Jesus in Mark 14:6-9.
Finish the following four statements Jesus made about her extravagant love.
“She has done a ___________________________ thing to me.”
“She did what she ___________________________________.”
“She poured perfume…to prepare for my _________________.”
“Wherever the gospel is preached…what she has ________ will also be told.”
Meditate on one of these statements. Ask the Lord to show you practical ways you could love him more beautifully and sacrificially.

78. Matthew and Mark both place Judas’s dark change of heart as happening immediately after Mary’s extravagant act of love. According to the following verses, why are greed and the love of money so dangerous?
Matthew 6:24 _________________________________________
1 Timothy 6:9-10 ______________________________________
James 4:1-4 ___________________________________________

79. Mary loved extravagantly because she had experienced firsthand the extravagant love of God. Read 1 John 3:1 and Romans 8:31-39.
Write a love letter back to God, expressing your gratitude for his lavish love and extravagant grace.

80. What spoke most to you in this chapter?

81. CHAPTER ELEVEN: BALANCING WORK
AND WORSHIP
Questions for Discussion or Reflection
What does your teetertotter look like when it comes to balancing work and worship? Draw a line to show which way it tends to tilt
(if it does).
WORK WORSHIP
Pivot Point

82. Read the “Listening to Your Soul” checklist on pages 182-183.
According to the checklist, do you need to spend more time in the
Living Room or the Kitchen? What are some practical ways you could lean into your weak side to bring balance to your Christian life?

83. Going Deeper
On one side of the teetertotter we find the importance of loving people. Read the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37.
Describe how the Samaritan fulfilled the following statements:
He took NOTICE ______________________________________
He took ACTION ______________________________________
He took RESPONSIBILITY________________________________
Which of these three qualities comes easiest to you? Which is the hardest for you?

84. On the other side of Mary and Martha’s story we find Christ’s teaching on prayer. What does Luke 11:1-13 show about our part in prayer and God’s promised response?
OUR PART GOD’S RESPONSE
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________

85. According to the following verses, why is it dangerous to spend all our time on one end of the teetertotter?
Matthew 7:21-23 _____________________________________
James 2:14-17 _______________________________________
1 John 3:16-18 _______________________________________

86. We all need time to let our souls catch up. From Isaiah 58:13-14, list three ways we can “keep the Sabbath” and also three blessings we will receive from honoring the “Lord’s holy day.”

87. According to the following verses, what blessings do we receive from hospitality?
Isaiah 58:6-8 ________________________________________
Matthew 25:34-36 ____________________________________
Hebrews 13:2 ________________________________________

88. What spoke most to you from this chapter?

89. CHAPTER TWELVE: HAVING A MARY HEART
Have you ever heard a great Christian testimony and wished you could have the faith of that person or live as he or she has lived?
What was the process that gave them the product?

90. When you face difficulties in life, which approach do you usually take? Explain.
The All-Star Wrestling Approach: “God! I’m doing this for you—
howsaboutta little help here?”
The Job Approach: “Where are you—and why don’t you care?”
The Jonah Approach: “Forget Nineveh—I’m headed for the
Bahamas.”

91. Going Deeper
Read John 12:1-3. Knowing what you now know about these sisters, what two things could you surmise about Martha and about Mary from this passage? How would you sum up Martha in one word? How would you sum up Mary? How does this differ from the way you described them in the study for chapter 1
(question 3)?

92. Read the following verses. Describe the process God uses and the purpose he intends.
Deuteronomy 8:2 PROCESS ________________________
PURPOSE ________________________
Romans 8:28-29 PROCESS ________________________
PURPOSE ________________________
2 Corinthians 4:17 PROCESS ________________________
PURPOSE ________________________

93. How do we partner in this process, according to Philippians 2:12-13?
We do…
God does…

94. Read Philippians 1:6 and Hebrews 10:35-36, then look up the following words in the dictionary, and write their definitions.
Confident:
Persevere:
Complete:
Which of these words mean the most to you right now and why?

95. Read Philippians 3:12-14. Circle key words, and then rewrite this passage in your own words. Read it aloud as a prayer, a declaration of faith, and/or a personal mission statement. Ask God to keep it ever before you as you run the race for the prize.

96. What spoke most to you from this chapter?

Editorial Reviews

Often a book fails to live up to its title, but Joanna Weaver’s Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World more than lives up to its promise. I found the book easy to read, personal, and well-written with a message much more than surface deep. The book probed, challenged, and encouraged me to live day by day as a Mary in a Martha world, while showing the positive qualities of both Mary and Martha personalities. Readers will be blessed!”—Carole Mayhall, author of Come Walk with Me and Here I Am Again, Lord

“Joanna Weaver has a heart that sings. Whenever I’m around her, she makes me smile. Her voice rings out true and clear in Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. This book invites us to join in the chorus of daily communion with Christ, despite the pressures that threaten to silence us. Consider it as sheet music for your soul.”—Robin Jones Gunn, bestselling author of the Christy Miller series

“Balance. That’s what it is all about, and Joanna Weaver has found it, described it, and called us to this wonderful, practical work. If you have ever struggled with how you can find one quiet moment while longing for a deep holy communion or if you have been discouraged because neither seems possible, you will be challenged and blessed by Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World!”—Jan Silvious, author of Foolproofing Your Life

“With candor, humor, and passion Joanna Weaver invites us to cultivate a ‘Mary heart’ that delights in time with God and assigns him top priority. Yet she doesn't discard the service-oriented Martha. Instead, she wisely and practically models how to balance the Mary and Martha qualities in us all. I especially appreciate her thoughts on expressing lavish love–to God and to humanity.”—Judith Couchman, author of Designing a Woman’s Life and seminar leader

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