Head, Shoulders, Pee, and Moles: An Eyes-and-Ears-and-Mouth-and-Nose Guide to Self-Diagnosis

Head, Shoulders, Pee, and Moles: An Eyes-and-Ears-and-Mouth-and-Nose Guide to Self-Diagnosis

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by Paul Kleinman
     
 

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The only see-it-and-believe-it guide to whole-body self-diagnosis!

Worried about that not-so-distinct mole? Has an online search led you to believe that you're suffering from neurodermatitis, nasal polyps, or elephantitis? Do you slather on a bottle of sanitizer daily or avoid others like they have the plague? Don't quarantine yourself just yet—trust

Overview

The only see-it-and-believe-it guide to whole-body self-diagnosis!

Worried about that not-so-distinct mole? Has an online search led you to believe that you're suffering from neurodermatitis, nasal polyps, or elephantitis? Do you slather on a bottle of sanitizer daily or avoid others like they have the plague? Don't quarantine yourself just yet—trust your own eyes! Thanks to the help and humor of Paul Kleinman, you can learn and laugh about what you've got and what you're coming down with, all by looking at your body. Prognoses include:

  • Dry, brittle hair is a symptom of hypothyroidism. Looks like you're running low on hormones or moisturizing shampoo. . . .
  • White patches on your feet could mean you have pitted keratolysis. Great, so a colony of bacteria decided to move in or you forgot to use your antiperspirant again. . .
  • A rash from cheek to cheek could be a sign of lupus. Don't fret—your insides might be at war with an inflammatory disease or you may just need a higher SPF . . .
Drawn from real tenets of traditional medicine, modern research, and alternative practices, this tongue-in-cheek health guide will scratch your cyberchondriac's itch for information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781440533631
Publisher:
Adams Media
Publication date:
05/18/2012
Pages:
224
Product dimensions:
5.70(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.80(d)

Meet the Author

Paul Kleinman is a freelance writer; author of two books; and a self-described neurotic, self-diagnosing hypochondriac. He lives in New York, NY.

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Head, Shoulders, Pee, and Moles: An Eyes-and-Ears-and-Mouth-and-Nose Guide to Self-Diagnosis 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 16 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
It would have to be" when i was your man" by bruno mars
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Miley was walking home from school when she felt her bladder try to go. OH-NO! She let out a few drops. She finaly found a home that no person was at.AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! She heard someone come back,so she ran! I still have to pee! What happens next? Seqal coming soon.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
“Hey, Mom! Look! I want this book, Mom! It has a naked guy on the front!” said Hunter loudly to his mother, right in the middle of a bookstore. "Hunter!" cried his mom. "Don't speak that way, especially in public!" Hunter sighed. "Ok, Mom. But still... It has a naked guy on the front!" "Hunter!!" his mom screeched. "No! You absolutely CANNOT get this book!" Hunter was very disappionted. He had a whole collection of books with naked (or nearly naked) people on the cover. This book just might be the ending of his collection. This book might mean he won't have to pester his mom for naked people books anymore! Hunter loved his collection of naked people books. His favorite was the one with the hot lady on the front. She was wearing a TINY bikini. He LOVED it. He kissed it every night. (Hunter was a pretty gross person, anyway.) He needed this book with the naked man!!! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? WILL HUNTER GET THIS BOOK? SEQUEL COMING SOON!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Bad blood style and ill write your name 22 are all my favotites
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Emma had to pee. She ran into Mala's Cafe. She bumped into a few people as she raced to the bathroom. 50 people were in line as Emma groaned. She raced along, pee dripping. She finally came to the library near her home. The bathroom was 30 people long. She went in the pillow room, empty, and sat on a pillow. She then got an idea. She took her pants off and peed on the pillow, a yellow stain marking it. She finished and zipped her pants off and left.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Lauren was walking around the park on a cold winter when she had to go. She was really cold, and she couldn't find a bathroom. So she decided to pee in her pants. She peed, and the pee spread acroas her pants, throygh her legs and dripped onto the snow. It felt vso good, and she felt warm
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Pweasseee
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Do u want to chat with me?-kristen
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Tu a stupide Grammar :(
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Ara was going to school when she started to pee and poop. She forced herself to stop. She started to run and ran into a boy. He could see she had to go to. Come into the bathroom. He pulled of her clothes she pulled of his. Ara gasped and he pooped in her mouth.then she drank the pee. He did the same. The end?
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Max had to go bad.He then saw a girl sayinnnnng,"My name is Sally, "Max" follw me " Sally and Max closed the door. Sally took her clothes off. She told Max to open& suck her vagtina.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Awesome book. Read it. Love it. Comment it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Kelly drank too much much water. She walked way back o her friend's house. It was late. She looked clock; 12:00pm. She said,"oh-no!" She felt her bladder began to tickle and she can't let her urine go. She skitted to Pepetio's Cafe. She said,"there must restroom here." Fifty people was waiting. Kelly went back,she thought,"one single drop way back my friend's house." She nodded herself and let one single drop way back. But one boy hitted her belly that made her bladder tickle again. She was in pain and she said,"sorry. I just walking." One boy blushed,"mine is Justin. I was in uncontrollable bladder." Kelly nodded,"Me too." She was in shock. Justin left but accidently peed his big puddle in one place. Justin was blushed with awarked feeling. Kelly kept walking with her mind rushing. She was controlling her bladder. Finally,she was able go to Pepe's cafe. Restroom is full. Kelly groaned. She was uncontrolled now. She found way to her friend's house. She peed behind Holly,her friend, yard. She sighed. And she was looking Justin peeing on Holly's yard. Kelly said,"What are you doing here?" Justin zipped his pants when Kelly was seeing him. He said,"I was out of control and i have to pee." Kelly sighed and went inside and she was sleeping overnight her house. Kelly unzipped his pants and said,"pee." THE END?
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I just saw this and was grossed out!Three words GROSS dont get My friend told me was worse than POOP!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Amy was walking when she had to go to use the toilet. Then she ran into the cutest boy ever. Sorry but i have to go pee and poo. She said. And my name is amy. I have to too. And my name is jake. said the boy. Follow me. The walked to jakes house and went into the bathroom. Jake locked the door. The took off their clothes. Jack told amy to suck his penis. Amy did. Jake started peeing and amy drank it. Then jake stood up and placed his butt hole over amys mouth and straned till a small bit of poo landed in amys mouth. Amy chewed untill jake stopped pooping. Then jake knelt and amy stood up. Jake grabbed her vagina and sucked it. Amy peed and jake drank it. Then amy turned around and put her butt hole over jakes mouth. Amy pooped right away. After they finished jake and amy started making out and having sex. The next day amy and jake did it over again and the day after that and got married. Amy had 4 kids. THE END!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Mark's bladder wouldn't go. He strained to let out a tiny drop. Nothing. "You've been waiting so long. You deserve to let go and pee. Pee is so wet, and warm. Just let go and pee," he thought. It worked better than he thought. HISS! Mark doubled over as the warm liquid spread over his pants. He forced himself to stop. Luckily, the street was deserted. He kept walking, but it was very hard to do. He walked past dogs reliving themselfs, and rushing streams. But he had 10 minutes to his house, and 3 until Mark peed. But he kept walking. NEXT AT SOAKING UP THE SUN!