Head-to-Soul Makeover Bible Study Leader's Guide: Helping Teen Girls Become Real in a Fake World
176
Head-to-Soul Makeover Bible Study Leader's Guide: Helping Teen Girls Become Real in a Fake World
176Paperback
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Overview
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9780310670414 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | HarperChristian Resources |
| Publication date: | 09/26/2010 |
| Series: | Youth Specialties (Paperback) |
| Pages: | 176 |
| Product dimensions: | 7.20(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.50(d) |
| Age Range: | 13 - 16 Years |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
Head-to-Soul Makeover Leader's Guide
Helping Teen Girls Become Real in a Fake WorldBy Shelley R. Leith
ZONDERVAN
Copyright © 2010 Shelley R. LeithAll right reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-310-67041-4
Chapter One
EPISODE 1WHAT NOT TO BE
This first lesson is based on the reality show What Not to Wear. To learn more about the show or watch episodes, go to the Web site:
http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/whatnottowear/whatnottowear.html
SHoW SYNoPSIS
In the reality show What Not to Wear, participants are secretly nominated to appear on the show by their friends and relatives who think they could use a fashion makeover. Stacy and Clinton, the fashion coaches, spend the first day going through the person's entire wardrobe. They throw everything from the participant's closet into a big trash barrel-but not without first brutally critiquing her favorite outfits. Although their observations feel harsh, they are really trying to help the participant see herself from a different perspective and understand how unflattering her current wardrobe is.
Armed with $5,000 and shopping advice from Stacy and Clinton, the participant shops for two days, purchasing an entirely new wardrobe guided by new shopping rules her coaches have provided. After a hair makeover and a makeup lesson, she emerges with an entirely new look that suits her body type and enhances her self-esteem. Often the participant's external makoever is accompanied by an internal change in how she sees herself. The show closes with a big reveal where she astonishes a gathering of her friends and family with her beautiful new look.
MATERIALS NEEDED
Butcher paper or tissue paper
A T-shirt to trace around
Fat magic markers (enough for each group member to have one or two colors)
A large trash can (such as the tall barrel-type used outdoors)
PREPARATIoN
Using an actual T-shirt as a guide, use a magic marker to trace the outline of a shirt onto butcher paper or tissue paper, making enough paper T-shirts for all the members of your group, including yourself. To see photos and ideas from other groups, go to the Idea Bulletin Board at www.headtosoulmakeover.com.
CHAT ABOUT IT ... 15 MINUTES
Start the lesson with the following ice-breaker question to get group members thinking about how certain reality shows help people transform parts of their lives:
In this study we're going to look at what it means to be real in a fake world. Each week, we're going to use a different reality television show to illustrate the character qualities that help us become more real. (Ha! Get the play on words? Reality show ... becoming real?)
If you could be on a reality show-which one would you choose and why? You can choose one of these-or some other one!
The Biggest Loser-where people compete to lose the most weight
What Not to Wear-where people are coached to transform their fashion disasters
Extreme Makeover-where people are transformed by plastic surgery
Trading Spaces-where friends redecorate each other's rooms
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition-where a family receives a whole new house
If your group members do not know one another, change this activity to a name game. Have the first person say, "My name is ________ and my favorite reality show is _________." Each additional speaker then has to repeat the name and favorite show of all the girls who have already spoken, and then add her own name and favorite reality show.
WHAT NOT TO BE
Today's lesson is based on the reality show What Not to Wear, except we're renaming it What Not to Be. For our show, we'll be focusing on character rather than clothes.
You'll probably want to ask the group if they've ever watched What Not to Wear. Even if most or all the girls have seen the show, it's best to read the show synopsis at the beginning of the lesson to make sure everyone has a good feel for what the show involves. After talking a little about the show itself, you can begin to help them make the connection between the actual show and our version-which focuses on letting go of ugly character traits rather than unfashionable clothing.
Girls nominated for our show, What Not to Be, have character flaws that make them irritating or unattractive. The coaches have ten weeks to give these girls "head-to-soul makeovers" that will help them become better people.
If you had to describe a teenage girl to be on the show, What Not to Be, what kinds of negative character qualities would she have? (Note: We're not naming people we'd nominate for the show-instead we're talking about character traits that need to be tossed in the trash can.
Be careful not to allow this discussion to degenerate into gossip or slander of a specific person. Keep the discussion on the hypothetical, or "I get really bugged by people who ..." type of statements.
CHECK YOURSELF 10 MINuTES
Let's get personal now. For this episode you have nominated yourself to go on the show because you've noticed you keep having troubles with your parents, or in your relationships with your friends, or inside your head. You suspect you might have some character flaws, and you want to get help from a coach to become a more real and likeable person.
Let's begin this ten-week adventure by taking the What Not to Be Quiz. Taking the quiz is kind of like when the coaches on What Not to Wear go through a person's closet, identifying "fashion disaster" clothes. This will help you identify character flaws you need to throw in the garbage can-character qualities you should work on over the next ten weeks so that you can become more real.
Take the What Not to Be Quiz now or take it online at www.headtosoulmakeover.com.
Read the instructions aloud, and make sure girls read down each column and put a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 in every blank. The three columns don't mean anything-they are just a way to separate similar negative qualities to help get a more accurate result. You should also take the quiz yourself, and be willing to share your results.
To see how their results compare to the rest of the Head-to-Soul community, encourage your group members to try the online quiz at www.headtosoulmakeover.com. While they're there, they could take the next week's Prideful Idol Tryout, especially if you want to save time in your group meetings by having them take the assessments ahead of time. Have them bring a printout of their results, or email their results directly to you. Be sure they have your email address!
WHAT NOT TO BE QUIZ
For the following three sets of character flaws, rate each flaw from 1 to 5.
1 = I never or almost never feel or act like this 2 = I rarely feel or act like this 3 = I sometimes feel or act like this 4 = I often feel or act like this. 5 = I always or almost always feel or act like this.
SET 1 SET 2 SET 3 ______ A. Self-centered ______ A. Judgmental ______ A. Perfectionistic ______ B. Insecure ______ B. Low self-esteem ______ B. Feel worthless ______ C. Fearful ______ C. Anxious ______ C. untruthful ______ D. obsessive ______ D. overly emotional ______ D. Stressed out ______ E. Impatient ______ E. Intolerant ______ E. Demanding ______ F. Jealous ______ F. Rarely satisfied ______ F. Restless ______ G. Hate interruptions ______ G. Trouble sharing things ______ G. Greedy ______ H. Difficulty finishing ______ H. Easily discouraged ______ H. Avoid decisions
SCoRE YouRSELF: Total your scores by adding up your 3 A's, your 3 B's, etc.
EXAMPLE: 3 A. Self-centered + 4 A. Judgmental + 2 A. Perfectionistic = 9 A's
REVEAL: Circle your top 3 scores. These are 3 character flaws that you need to throw in the garbage can, and the character quality that will help you overcome them and become more genuine.
A's _________The character flaw of Pride is 'thrown away' by developing Humility. B's _________The character flaw of Insecurity is 'thrown away' by developing Confidence. C's _________The character flaw of Fear is 'thrown away' by developing Courage. D's _________The character flaw of Anger is 'thrown away' by developing Self-Control. E's _________The character flaw of Impatience is 'thrown away' by developing Patience. F's _________The character flaw of Envy is 'thrown away' by developing Contentment. G's _________The character flaw of Greed is 'thrown away' by developing Generosity. H's _________The character flaw of Quitting is 'thrown away' by developing Perseverance.
TRY IT OUT 10 MINuTES
For this activity, your leader will be passing paper T-shirts out to the entire group. Choose one of your top three character flaws and write it on your paper T-shirt. Think about why that flaw was one of your top three, and take turns sharing your thoughts with the rest of the group. Then come forward and toss your paper shirt in the trash can and say which positive character quality you're going to work on to help you "throw away" that flaw and become more genuine.
When everyone has finished scoring the quiz, distribute the paper T-shirts and markers, and ask each participant to look at her three highest-scoring flaws and choose one she's willing to share with the entire group. If a person's results are so even that there aren't three clear top scores, have her look at her highest scores and select three she thinks she needs to work on most.
Have each girl write the flaw she has chosen on her paper T-shirt. Then encourage group members to share their own thoughts about why they scored high is that particular area. Then have each girl take a turn bringing her paper T-shirt and throw it in the trash can, saying the statement from the scoring chart on the quiz: "I'm going to throw away ______ by developing _______."
What if the results are surprising? These character qualities may have some unexpected aspects to them. For instance, you may not think of humility as the character quality that would help overcome perfectionism. But, as we go through the study, we'll explore each of these qualities in more depth. If girls are surprised by any of their top scores, ask them to be sure to check it out when you do the lesson on that character quality, and decide at that time whether or not it's a fit. And remind all the girls that there's room for each of us to grow in all these areas.
GREAT IDEA To TRY
As the mentor of your group, it would be useful for you to know what each girl's top three character issues are. Fill in this chart by checking the boxes corresponding to each girl's top three, and refer to it as you go through the weekly studies, to help see where to reinforce and encourage your group members.
TALK IT OVER 15 MINuTES
Transition from the quiz results to the lesson by reading aloud the following section, which unpacks the title of the study, Head-to-Soul Makeover: Becoming Real in a Fake World, and ties it to the concept of discipleship.
Just in case you're thinking What Not to Be is all about making you popular, let's talk a little bit about the Most Real Person Ever. On What Not to Wear, when the coaches want to show their guest how to dress well, they demonstrate sample outfits on a mannequin. For our What Not to Be show, we have a living model who shows us what it means to live out these character qualities-Jesus.
Now, Jesus wasn't always popular. Not everyone approved of him. In fact, he alienated some people. So, why are we calling him the Most Real Person Ever? Because he possessed character qualities that pleased God, which meant he was genuine. He did what was right and loved people.
Can you think of stories from the Bible where Jesus exhibits the character qualities that make a person genuine?
A person who is genuine, or real, doesn't always appeal to everyone. If you have the courage to do the right thing, some people may feel alienated. When you reach out and love certain people, they may run away. But a genuine person treats others in ways that are caring. She doesn't change who she is to try to gain the approval of others. Jesus wasn't concerned about being popular. He was concerned about pleasing God, and that is a mark of true character.
So, on our show, What Not to Be, the goal is to "throw away" our character flaws and replace them with qualities that make us look and act like Jesus. The Bible calls this process discipleship, and it calls the end result being Christlike.
A MAkEoVER TAkES WoRk
Have you ever been part of a team-such as a sports team, a musical group, or a drama production? Share the kinds of drills your coach or director has you do during practices.
Have you ever noticed that you don't improve your skills simply by joining the team? You improve your skills by practicing the disciplines, repeating the basics, and rehearsing the techniques. The same is true with improving your character. A Head-to-Soul Makeover doesn't happen just because you join the "Christian team." Take a look at these words from the apostle Paul:
Train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. (1 Timothy 4:7-8)
According to this verse, what can we do to ourselves to achieve godliness (which is another word for being like Christ)?
The answer to this first question is found in the first two words of the Bible verse above: Train yourself. You could take this further by having the group discuss some ways we can spiritually train ourselves, such as studying the Bible together, going to church, having a daily quiet time, having an accountability partner, memorizing verses, etc.
How much value is there in becoming godly?
Again, the answer to this second question is found in those verses from 1 Timothy: Godliness has value for all things. You could go deeper by discussing what that looks like. For example, how would godliness be valuable in school? At your job? At home?
It is important to realize that godliness doesn't just happen. It is something we choose to work on and train into ourselves, which is what this Head-to-Soul Makeover is all about. Consider what Paul writes in Romans 5:3-4 (TLB):
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us; they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.
How is it that problems can make us rejoice?
Romans reminds us that problems help us develop strength of character, which in turn makes us strong and steady.
If strength of character makes us strong and steady, what does a life without strong character look like?
Answers here could be about feeling insecure, caving to peer pressure, or not standing up for one's faith. Look for opportunities to make connections between the girls' responses and the various character flaws you'll be considering during this study.
Can you think of a time when you didn't trust God and it made the situation worse?
Be prepared to share an example from your own life, such as a time you disobeyed God because you didn't think God's way would be fun, and then found out that your way didn't work.
Think again about your experiences as part of a team. How does being part of a group that's working together toward a shared goal help you achieve more than you could alone?
FORM A MAKEOVER TEAM 10 MINuTES
We're now going to form Makeover Teams of three girls each. These teams will stay together for the next ten weeks. Once you are with your new team, ask one another this question: What were your top three character qualities to work on-and why? Send text messages, IMs, or emails to one another this week, offering encouragement and prayers to the other members of your team, such as "God, give Emily courage when she does her speech tomorrow." Be sure to exchange phone numbers, email addresses, and other contact info so you can connect during the week.
Divide the girls into teams of three who will stay together for the whole study and act as accountability partners to one another. You may need to have some teams with either two or four girls if your numbers aren't evenly divisible by three. Each team should select a team leader to be the primary person you communicate with about the team. A good team leader would be a girl who loves activities such as writing notes and posting on Facebook, and who will be likely to return your phone calls and answer your emails! Here are several possible ways to determine who is on each team:
1. Let the girls choose their own teams and elect a leader who is good at communicating.
2. You decide which girls will be on teams together ahead of time, assigning older girls in the group to be team leaders.
3. To avoid cliques or complaints, divide the total number in your group by three, and then have the girls count off up to that number. (For example, if you have a group of fifteen, have the girls count off to five, then start over.) After everyone has a number, all the "ones" form a Makeover Team, all the "twos" are another team, etc. Have them choose a leader who is good at communicating.
Make a list for yourself of who is on each team, and who the team leader is, if applicable. If you have not already done so, collect complete contact information for the group members so you can communicate with them during the week.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Head-to-Soul Makeover Leader's Guide by Shelley R. Leith Copyright © 2010 by Shelley R. Leith. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Contents
Introduction Helping Teen Girls Become Real in a Fake World....................5Episode 1 What Not to Be Building Character....................14
Episode 2 Prideful Idol Becoming Humble....................28
Episode 3 Don't Replay the Lyrics! Becoming Confident....................42
Episode 4 Fear or Faith Factor Becoming Courageous....................62
Episode 5 Total Loser Developing Self-Control....................78
Episode 6 LifeSwap Becoming Patient....................94
Episode 7 My Superficial Sweet 16 Becoming Content....................110
Episode 8 Extreme Makeover: Generosity Edition Becoming Generous....................128
Episode 9 The REALLY Amazing Race Developing Perseverance....................146
Episode 10 The Big Reveal Party Celebrating Your Transformation....................160