Healing the Hurt, Restoring the Hope: How to Guide Children and Teens Through Times of Divorce, Death and Crisis with the RAINBOWS Approach

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Rainbows offers our children healing and hope.

Even if children or teenagers you love appear to be doing "just fine" after a loss, the truth is, they may be suffering in silence. They may not even know they need your help.

Now with the trusted guidance of founder and president Suzy Yehl Marta, you will discover the most effective advice, stories, and techniques from Rainbows' worldwide grief programs.

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Overview

Rainbows offers our children healing and hope.

Even if children or teenagers you love appear to be doing "just fine" after a loss, the truth is, they may be suffering in silence. They may not even know they need your help.

Now with the trusted guidance of founder and president Suzy Yehl Marta, you will discover the most effective advice, stories, and techniques from Rainbows' worldwide grief programs.

Suzy's simple, straightforward, refreshing style makes helping a child both easy and effective. Her approach works to keep misperceptions, isolation, and sadness from permanently affecting the important children in your life.

Divorce Death National Tragedy Community Crisis

The Rainbows Approach can help.

This intimate and powerful book offers groundbreaking techniques and concrete strategies to help children of any age, such as:

Games, activities, and play-based exercises that help children and teens process their emotions when they don't have the words to describe what they are feeling

Inspiring stories from two decades of Rainbows groups will comfort and encourage adults trying to cope and guide children and teens during difficult times

The four fundamental stepping stones to help children heal

Rituals that allow youth to commemorate their loss and reconcile their grief

Conversations—what to say, and what not to say—including age-appropriate advice for when you're looking for the right words to explain and provide comfort

How to recognize the 10 stages of children's grief—and the specific activities you can use with children during each stage of the grieving process

Healing the Hurt, Restoring the Hope offers techniques to help children and teens resolve their grief and once again live a life filled with joy and hope.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Flatly rejecting the commonly held belief that children simply bounce back from divorce, death, illness, or life-changing crisis, Marta, founder and president of the international, charity-based grief support organization RAINBOWS, offers a valuable reference guide to parents, teachers, counselors or any "compassionate companion" looking to help a grieving child. Arranged into three major sections, and written in a positive, encouraging style, Marta candidly draws from her own divorce, and the lasting impression it left on her children, as well as on 20 years of firsthand experience and real-life examples from her work, to guide readers through the "the hurt, the healing, and the hope." Warning signs and age-specific behavioral changes help identify children in turmoil, while tips on becoming an empathetic listener, sample questions and conversations, including dos and don'ts, and harmful words, and an entire chapter devoted to activities and projects for any stage of the grief process, will help draw the most reticent child out and move him or her forward on the road to happiness (Apr.) Copyright 2003 Cahners Business Information.
Library Journal
In these books, the authors counsel adults about effective ways to help children deal with change and grief. Marta, founder of RAINBOWS, an international grief support organization for children, applies her techniques to kids who are dealing with several types of loss-the death of a parent, sibling, or friend; divorce; abandonment or placement in foster care; and local or national crisis. Drawing on her work with small groups, she aids her readers in understanding how children experience grief and sadness and offers suggestions for helping them deal with loss and build hope for the future. Also included are guidelines for talking to children and games to help them voice their emotions. Wallerstein (sociology, emerita, Berkeley) has been studying and writing about the effects of divorce on children for more than 25 years. Here, with the help of science writer Blakeslee, she distills her groundbreaking research from The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce (2000) into digestible guidelines for parents. Divided into five parts, the book addresses handling the breakup, dealing with the coparent, examining the family several years after divorce, learning to cope with second families and dating parents, and, finally, assisting children in learning from the parents' divorce so that they may seek healthy relationships as they become young adults. Wallerstein emphasizes the need for continuous dialog with children appropriate to their age; she also stresses that parents must acknowledge the divorce throughout the child's lifetime, making changes in conversation and habits as the children age. Though their subjects and intended audiences are somewhat different, both guides offer complementary advice on helping children deal with the ongoing emotional impact of a loss. Both are recommended for all public libraries, though those owning The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce need not purchase Wallerstein's unless they have strong parenting collections.-Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781579545918
  • Publisher: Rodale Press, Inc.
  • Publication date: 3/19/2003
  • Edition description: REV
  • Pages: 340
  • Product dimensions: 6.80 (w) x 9.42 (h) x 1.28 (d)

Meet the Author

Suzy Yehl Marta is president and founder of Rainbows Inc., the world's largest organization dedicated to helping youth cope with loss.

Suzy formed Rainbows in 1983, so other families wouldn't suffer as hers did in the wake of her divorce. Since then, Suzy has directed the organization in serving more than 1,000,000 youth throughout the United States, Canada, and 15 other countries.

Her heart-centered approach to helping youth heal from loss has been honored by dozens of awards, the subject of academic study, and the model for programs to reach preschoolers, elementary school students, adolescents, single and stepparents, and young adults.

Today, remarried, Suzy is the mother and stepmother of six adult children. She lives with her husband in the Chicago area.

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Table of Contents

Foreword ix
Acknowledgments xi
Introduction 1
Part 1 The Hurt
Chapter 1 Inside the Hearts of Grieving Children 15
Chapter 2 Grief's Tangled Web: The Complex Phases of Children's Grief 49
Chapter 3 Children and Death 75
Chapter 4 Children and Divorce 100
Chapter 5 Children and Crisis 125
Part 2 The Healing
Chapter 6 Becoming a Compassionate Companion 155
Chapter 7 Four Stepping Stones to Healing 178
Chapter 8 Heartfelt Conversations 189
Chapter 9 Activities and Rituals for Healing 213
Chapter 10 Troubleshooting 252
Part 3 The Hope
Chapter 11 Still a Family 291
Chapter 12 Caring Communities: Shaping a Brighter Future 309
Epilogue 328
Resources 331
Index 333
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