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Derived from her extensive research for her book Death by Supermarket, Nancy Deville provides a series of straightforward, no-nonsense guidelines that show you how to take ...
Derived from her extensive research for her book Death by Supermarket, Nancy Deville provides a series of straightforward, no-nonsense guidelines that show you how to take control of your health. This comprehensive program address topics such as accelerated aging and how to avoid it, how to properly care for and nourish your brain, managing insomnia, practicing self-compassion, and the appropriate exercise levels for all ages.
Whether you are a twenty-year-old who can't wake up without four cups of coffee and a cigarette, a depressed thirty-five-year-old with no sex drive, or someone later in life free-falling into old age, Healthy, Sexy, Happy shows you how to redefine your sense of well-being in a toxic world.
My mission is to inspire health for the mind, body, and spirit. Being healthy is sexy. And being healthy and sexy contribute greatly to your quality of life (i.e., happiness). These are not commodities that can be purchased over the counter or online in pill form. Attaining the Ultimate Healthy, Sexy, Happy You, is a process that begins with a new understanding. We've been sold a fake model of health based on toxic food, bad medicine, and scams. We've been convinced of a confectionary ideal of sexuality with images from TV, movies, gossip magazines and so forth, which has nothing to do with real life. We've bought into an ideal of happiness that is based on wealth, power, and acquisitions that ultimately equates to more insecurity, yearning, and unhappiness.
Part of the reason some people have given up on their health is because the expectations are so unrealistic. Americans are crazy for thin. But face it, very few can look like the adolescent (or prepubescent) girls and boys who are constantly shoved down our throats by the neurotic machinery of the fashion industry. I'd like you to reject the false ideals of beauty as thinness and youth, and instead redefine beauty as optimal health.
An important aspect of becoming healthy is being realistic about your optimal body weight. This is a huge hurdle for many people. For example, I recently heard that a certain celebrity has proudly starved down to his "high school weight" on an extreme diet. I'm not going to say who it is, but only that he used to be attractive and sexy and he now looks like a skeletal old man. Remember in Tom Wolfe's novel Bonfire of the Vanities when he referred to the bone-thin socialites as "X-rays"? Maybe he was trying to tell us something—being emaciated isn't attractive or sexy. If I wasted down twenty-five pounds to my high school weight we could have titled this book Prison Camp Thin! Becoming realistic about body image is crucial in your quest for the Ultimate You.
And beauty is relative, too. The greatest fictional heroine of all time was described on page one of Margaret Mitchell's masterpiece Gone with the Wind: "Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charms." The real-life femme fatale Cleopatra was said to be short, dumpy, and squat, her appearance unremarkable, yet she scored Julius Caesar and Mark Antony. Anne Boleyn, who was not at all a true beauty, so enchanted King Henry VIII with her magnetism that to marry her he broke from the power of the Roman Catholic Church to have his first marriage annulled. Do you think these real-life women sat around and compared themselves to others? No, of course not. They accepted who they were and made the best of what they had going for them. Not everyone can be thin. Not everyone can be movie-star gorgeous. But you can make the most of what you have by achieving your optimal health.
I'm talking to men here too. Physical appearance, confidence, and sexual prowess hinge on optimal health, not on your car, your designer sunglasses, your cowboy boots, or your bank account. Of course it's easier to impress when you are wealthy, powerful, and connected, but you also want to live long enough with strength and vitality to enjoy these things if you are so privileged. A very wise man recently said to me, "Never underestimate the ability of men to be oblivious about their appearance." So if you're a guy reading this and you're in denial about the state of your health, please take a realistic look in the mirror because what you see on the outside (without mental Photoshopping) is a barometer of what's going on inside you. If you're not optimally healthy, things can only go downhill from there.
That said, when it comes to health, no one is perfect either, especially me. We all have health issues, things we wish were different about our health, and regrets that we didn't do things differently in the past. Although I intentionally do not point out my flaws, I will say that I've personally come to terms with physical changes and have made a lot of adjustments in my attitudes about myself, my appearance, my fitness level, my total health, my age, and so on. One of my favorite sayings is "Nothing lasts forever." Thus I'll have to make more attitude adjustments in the future. There may be attitude adjustments you need to make too. The Buddha taught that self-compassion is at the heart of true spiritual transformation. And what better way to begin your quest for transformation than with a little bit of self-compassion.
Our globe has entered an apocalyptic time of science fiction food and government-approved toxins and drugs. In response, people have divided into two classes that have less to do with money and more to do with personal choice. (Okay, I'm generalizing, because there are gray areas, but you'll get the point as you read these two descriptions.) One group eats nothing but factory-made or -raised products. Every self- and home-care product they use is toxic, from weed, roach, and ant killer, to chemical-infused room fresheners, dryer sheets, cosmetics, toothpaste, and on and on. They take OTC and prescription drugs every day—even babies and little kids, and especially the elderly. Midlife right of passage initiates men into the club of antidepressants, statins, sleeping pills, beta blockers, antacids, and impotence pills. Middle-aged women take antidepressants, statins, sleeping pills, beta blockers, antacids, and osteoporosis drugs and believe that hormone replacement will kill them. Both genders pop cheap industrial vitamins that they stock up on at the pharmacy, supermarket, or Big Box. They're constantly dieting with the endorsement of their doctors, but remain overweight, or becoming prison-camp thin. They're aging rapidly, depressed, and chronically or acutely sick. They don't remember when they last had sex.
Members of another group are ostracized from the government/doctor-approved group, including the doctors who've defected. This group eats organic, real, living food whenever possible. They don't go on diets. They take high-quality vitamins/minerals, herbs, and nutraceuticals. They've made a point to become educated about bioidentical hormone replacement, and they use drugs extremely judiciously. They fork over the extra cash for organic home- and self-care products, or they do without. While this group (due to ubiquitous environmental toxins and unavoidable eventualities) can get sick, they are generally healthy, sexy, and happy.
You may be thinking, Okay, I can buy into all of this but I still want to lose weight. So how do I do that? Along with being realistic about what weight would actually look good on you, it's important to adjust your mentality about how to arrive at that weight. When people think of weight loss, they think of deprivation and suffering in the form of calorie, fat, and/or carb restriction. I don't believe in any form of dieting, as I know from all my reading and research that ninety percent of diets fail, fail, fail. And at this point in my life I've lived through my own dietary debacles and have witnessed the consequences for others around me. Dieting perpetuates malnutrition, because it deprives the body of the nutrition it needs for ongoing building and replenishing (which is covered in the following chapter). Like the celebrity above, people who starve themselves ultimately look much older than they would had they provided their bodies with the necessary nutrition to rebuild along the way. You simply cannot starve the human machine—it needs operating materials. I will go into greater detail about the pitfalls of dieting shortly. For now all you need to know is that your dieting days are over, because dieting is not healthy. Achieving your optimal health will cause your body to naturally shrink to its optimal body weight.
When I arrived in Hollywood I was twenty-eight years old, barely keeping it together financially to pay rent, so I didn't have any money left over for clothing or jewelry. I'd been a runner for four years, and even though I ate modestly, I ate all real food. I was nervous about forays into Hollywood and Beverly Hills because at that time the term "beautiful people" had just been coined, and I was insecure. Eventually the moment came when I made my first visit to a Beverly Hills restaurant. I drove up in my white Lincoln Capri wearing a cheap dress and the only pair of cork-wedged sandals I owned. I'll never forget walking inside that restaurant, expecting a Dionysian display of Olympic beauty and virility. My first thought, however, was, Where are all the beautiful people? I was surrounded by unhealthy-looking people with extreme plastic surgery, big stomachs, sun-baked tans, glitzy clothing, and lots of flash. At first I was surprised that heads turned when I walked through the restaurant. It didn't take me long to figure it out: Being healthy is sexy.
I hate to say it, but for a very long time, being healthy has been unusual, as our society has deteriorated health-wise because of factory food, diets, and drugs. Like those Beverly Hills people I remember from way back then, people attempt to mask bad health with too much plastic surgery, tanning beds, a revolving wardrobe, makeup, and so on.
The term "magnetic" conjures up images of sex gods or goddesses. To me, magnetic means that you attract into your life all the people and circumstances that will make your life tick in ways that further your goals, dreams, and aspirations. Being optimally healthy is such a turn-on and generates the magnetism that creates the milieu for sex and happiness. In other words, being healthy gives you confidence, and with self-confidence, you can do and achieve anything in your life. Since my Beverly Hills "beautiful people" epiphany, I've always considered my health first, and flash a fun but not imperative second. And that's what I'd like for you. Instead of being victims of the food, fashion, cosmetic, self-care, and medical industries, get healthy if you want to be sexy.
This program is not just about looking sexy, it's about feeling sexy and having a sex drive. I also want to say that I'm not condemning anyone who was a victim of psychological trauma, or those who were injured in an accident or one of the wars, who for various reasons can't have sex. Those are different subjects. This is about the fact that so many people have lost their sex drive. Sex makes the world go around, and a sexless life is not very interesting. Even the Dalai Lama was quoted as saying that he has "women in his dreams." His Holiness has to deal with having sex on the brain because he's a celibate lama. But what is shocking to me is when women and men tell me, "Oh, I'm done with sex." Even if you feel that you're done with sex because you have no drive or don't experience sexual pleasure anymore, you don't have to deny your human desire for sexual fulfillment. You can get desire, endurance, and satisfaction back.
There are three major contributing factors to a tanking sex drive: malnutrition, adrenal fatigue, and endocrine imbalances. Healing from these three is definitely possible by honing the Twelve Ultimate You Skills, and I will talk more about this as we go.
Anyone who has had health problems understands how important health is to happiness. Aside from physical illness, given the number of prescriptions written every year for antidepressants it's pretty clear that there are a lot of unhappy people walking around. Our medical community focuses on plastering Band-Aids on brains in the form of antidepressant drugs, even though the vast majority of people (borne out by studies) are not made any happier by taking these drugs. The truth is that you can't pick up a bottle of happiness at your local pharmacy. The only way to achieve happiness and to rid your life of depression is to build a healthy brain. When your brain is healthy, you will have the wherewithal to go after your goals, dreams, and aspirations. We're going to talk a lot more about brain health soon.
There is also a mind/spirit aspect to happiness. When I first went to India all those years ago, it opened my eyes to the fact that Westerners basically have no idea what it means to be happy. I saw extremely impoverished people smiling and laughing. I'm not saying that being poor is a happy state of being. But as an Indian friend once said to me, "The villagers only started getting discontent when they got TV antennas on their roofs and started watching Dynasty and Dallas." Dazzling riches are seductive. But real happiness comes from letting go of grasping, and clinging, and accepting yourself and your circumstances.
Establishing your goals, dreams, and aspirations is a way to chart the course to your new life of health, sex, and happiness. It's important to visualize where you want to be six months from now, a year from now, and for the rest of your life. The Sanskrit word drishti means "gazing point." In yoga, if you gaze at the appropriate drishti you'll eventually experience the full expression of the pose. The same is true for life. If you establish your drishti—your gazing point at where you want to go— you'll eventually experience the full expression of your life. Read over the following lists and check the changes you'd like to occur in your mind, body, and spirit:
End cravings. Stop being controlled by nicotine, sugar, caffeine, and other stimulants. Stop being a victim of temper tantrums and emotional meltdowns. Feel healthy and vital. Be more creative and productive. Feel more pleasure and satisfaction. Feel as if life is worth living. Feel able to accomplish your goals, dreams, and aspirations. Exude more self-confidence. Enjoy better relationships. Be able to chill out and stop sweating the small stuff. Sleep deeply and restfully every night. Improve concentration and mental clarity. Restore short-term memory.
Halt and reverse accelerated aging. Improve metabolic function. Lose weight without dieting to achieve an ideal body composition. Burn away the fat roll or big belly. Minimize cellulite. Grow thicker and shinier hair and stronger nails. Have softer and smoother skin. Prevent premature wrinkling. Minimize the dark circles under eyes. Become more fertile (men and women of childbearing age). Rely less on prescription and OTC drugs. Restore and improve immunity. Reduce occurrence of flu, cold, and bronchitis. Have fewer allergies—or get rid of them completely. Reduce arthritic pain. Reduce the risk of cancer, heart disease, stroke, osteoporosis, neurological, autoimmune disorders. Heal from medical modalities of treating cancer, heart disease, stroke, osteoporosis, neurological, autoimmune disorders. Heal from osteoporosis. Live longer with quality of life and increase chances of dying a tranquil death. Have a hot sex life again.
Feel emotionally stable. Feel safe and secure. Feel connected and grounded. Have a spiritual foundation to be able to deal with life's pain. Feel optimistic and positive about life, and be self-compassionate. Feel happy and well-adjusted. (Continues...)
Excerpted from healthy sexy happy by nancy deville Copyright © 2011 by Nancy Deville. Excerpted by permission of Greenleaf Book Group Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Preface: Defining the Rest of Your Life xiii
1 Redefine Health, Sex, and Happiness 1
2 Ultimate You Skill No.1: Get Educated About Weight Loss and Aging 9
3 Ultimate You Skill No. 2: Stop Eating All Factory-produced Food 22
4 Ultimate You Skill No. 3: Eat a Balanced Diet of Real, Whole, Living Food 36
5 Ultimate You Skill No. 4: Properly Care for and Feed Your Big Dumb Pet-Your Brain 73
6 Ultimate You Skill No. 5: Quit Addictions 81
7 Ultimate You Skill No. 6: Supplement Your Diet 96
8 Ultimate You Skill No. 7: Live a Detox Lifestyle 121
9 Ultimate You Skill No. 8: Flush, Rinse, and Nourish 130
10 Ultimate You Skill No. 9: Use Bioidentical Hormone Replacement if You Need It 141
11 Ultimate You Skill No. 10: Sleep Eight Hours a Night 171
12 Ultimate You Skill No. 11: Practice Self-compassion Meditation 187
13 Ultimate You Skill No. 12: Exercise Regularly 207
Appendix 1 Toxins in Factory Food Products 233
Appendix 2 Supplements and Herbs 238
Appendix 3 Therapeutic Herbal Teas 257
Appendix 4 Environmental Toxins 261
Appendix 5 Self-care Toxins 266
Appendix 6 Home-care Toxins 273
Appendix 7 Medical Toxins 277
Appendix 8 Carbohydrate Counter 294