Chapter One: April
Subj: Are You Out There?
Date: 4/22/02, 9:37 A.M.
Some weekend, huh? I was so tired last night, but couldn't sleep at all got up at 3 A.M., took my guitar into the downstairs bathroom (most soundproof place in the house), and started writing a new song. Too soon to tell if it's any good. (Maybe if I could hear you sing it, I'd know.) :)
I was so worried beforehand about going to visit Cartwright to meet hundreds of potential new classmates. You know, it sounded so perfect in the catalog, but what if I got there and hated the place? What if all the other pre-frosh were jerks? Or what if they were all brilliant or something? But I loved it, didn't you? Especially the open mic night that sold me. Now I keep thinking, what if I hadn't applied to Cartwright, or what if I'd chosen a college based on something totally not important, like the advice of my guidance counselor (who thinks if you don't go to Harvard you should just forget about it and go to a state school). I told my parents to send in the money to Cartwright today!
You're probably too busy for much e-mailing this week since Godspell opens on Friday. After hearing you sing Saturday night I know you'll be amazing. Break a leg! (Do people really say that? Or just dorks like me?)
Subj: The Great Unknown
Date: 4/22/02, 9:57 A.M.
You will NOT believe what happened to me this weekend at Cartwright! Okay, yes, I met a guy. How did you know this would happen? Oh, Omniscient Sister, you are so psychic you should charge money. I totally wasn't expecting it. I was SO nervous when I got there and we gathered in this huge auditorium and there were all these other kids and we kept looking each other over and I knew I probably had bags under my eyes because I couldn't sleep the night before and I was seriously STRESSED. Besides which, I'm still going with Eli, sort of, even though that's been dragging on way too long already, as you keep telling me. But Eli would be so hurt if I broke up with him he's my biggest fan he comes to hear me any time I open for anybody or even do an open mic. He's so LOYAL he's been my friend since kindergarten! Besides which, Meghan and Kate and Joey would be furious with me for screwing up our group. I don't think I even COULD break up with him it would be like breaking up with your brother. What should I do? I love Eli, but I'm not in love with him. He's not my soulmate when I gaze into his eyes, all I see are brown circles so I probably shouldn't waste his time anymore.
This guy I met is named Julian Casper isn't that a great name? And guess what? He's a singer and an actor! He's the Jesus character in Godspell at his school, which, as you know, is the LEAD! Yeah, yeah, musicals have never been my favorite thing okay, I may once have said I hated them, but I'm young, I can change my mind. Anyway, Julian has a gorgeous voice, which I know because he sang at this open mic night they had during the weekend. There were a lot of kids who got up to sing or play music (including me, of course), which by itself is SO exciting I can't WAIT to get to this school. Anyway, he's been auditioning for some national singing contest thing which gives scholarships and he's already at the second level, and if he wins the next two levels, he'll come to Boston in August for the final round! I'll be done working at camp by then, so we can hang out in the city and I can show him around. He told me he LOVED my voice and he wants us to work on a duet that we could do at some open mics in Boston! Would that be the coolest thing!?
Do I sound like I've lost it for this guy? I sort of have, but I'm trying to not admit it yet because I'm not sure he feels the same way. He ACTED like he did, but, you know, he might go back to Florida (where he lives) and forget all about me. I mean, maybe it was just a weekend thing. But how fun would it be to go off to college and already have a boyfriend there? God, it would be so great. He says he's definitely going to Cartwright now he wasn't sure until this weekend, but now he is. I thought I was sure before, but now there's no doubt in my mind!
Veev, I have this feeling you're looking disapprovingly at the screen. You're rolling your eyes, aren't you? You know I wouldn't choose a college based solely on a guy, don't you? Cartwright has a fabulous music program and the campus is gorgeous. I'm not picking Cartwright just because I met Julian there. For all I know, he'll change his mind and not even go! Although that would be a shame because I want him to be the father of my firstborn child.