Heartmates: A Guide for the Spouse and Family of the Heart Patient


This book shows cardiac spouses how to face their emotions and concerns and understand the new roles expected of them.

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This book shows cardiac spouses how to face their emotions and concerns and understand the new roles expected of them.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781577491217
  • Publisher: Fairview Press
  • Publication date: 8/28/2002
  • Edition description: 3rd Edition
  • Edition number: 3
  • Pages: 352
  • Product dimensions: 6.14 (w) x 9.13 (h) x 0.82 (d)

Table of Contents

Foreword xi
Preface to the Third Edition xv
Acknowledgments xix
Introduction xxi
1 At the Hospital 1
Living in Limbo 4
Making Yourself at Home 7
Combating Helplessness 10
The Communication Bridge 15
Caring for Yourself 16
Before You Leave the Hospital 17
2 On the Road to Recovery 20
New Ingredients 22
Getting Your Rest 26
Working Out Work 28
Simple Pleasures 32
On The Road Again 35
Who Are You Now? A Question of Identity 38
Coping with Change 41
3 At the Heart of the Matter: The Emotions of the Heart 46
It's Your Transition and Relationship, Too 47
Those Powerful Feelings 49
Fear: The Anxiety Factory 51
Anger: The Ogre 58
Sadness: The Heavy Weight 64
Guilt: The Iron Grip 67
Working with Changing Feelings 69
Seeking Support 72
Reaching Out 75
4 Keeping Your Head on Straight 79
What You Need to Know about Your Thinking 80
Untangling the Web 82
Accentuate the Positive 87
Five Guidelines for Decision Making 90
Directing Communications: Decisions, Decisions 97
Considering the Deeper Questions 100
5 Shifting Responsibility: From Caretaker to Partner 105
The Scenario: Changing Responsibilities 105
Responsibility and Love 111
Responsibility and Fear 114
Stress: The Mysterious Threat 122
From Caring to Caretaking 126
Making the Shift from Caretaker to Partner 131
6 Does Time Heal All Wounds? 135
Grief and Loss 137
The Healing Process 140
Recognizing and Naming Your Wounds 141
Facing Reality 145
Releasing Feelings 147
The Power of Images 151
Updating Your Images 157
Forgiveness 161
Sources of Support 163
Turning toward the Future 166
7 Frogs Don't Turn into Princes, but Men Become Heartmates 170
Unfamiliar Territory 171
The Ultimate Juggling Act: Caring for Yourself and Others 175
Shifting Gears 178
Working Out Work 183
Downshifting 184
The Emotional Poker Game 186
Sharing with a Trusted Friend 192
Taking Care of Your Own Business 194
Getting in Touch Again 196
What about Sex? 197
8 Re-pairing the Heartmate Connection 201
Communication between Heartmates 202
Myths to Dispel 205
Sexuality and the Cardiac Relationship 213
Sexuality and Self-Image 218
Beyond Facts about Sexuality 221
Healing the Heartmate Relationship 223
9 Heart Disease Is a Family Affair 228
Heart Disease and Family Diversity 228
Roles and Rules 232
Concerns Cardiackids Confront 235
Role Reversals 238
Dealing with Cardiackids 241
Your Children's Right to Know 243
A Special Word to Cardiackids 246
Helping Your Children Heal 253
The Nontraditional Family 259
Getting Your Family Unstuck, Not Unglued 265
Recovery and Hope for the Cardiac Family 268
10 Opening Your Heart: Finding Meaning and Connection 270
The Healing Heart 271
Spirituality and Prayer 273
Finding Meaning in Adversity 274
Spirituality and Service 276
Appendix A Self-Help Resources 281
Relaxation 281
Evening Review 284
Partial Life Review 286
Family Meeting: Problem-Solving Guide 288
Appendix B Heartmates Recommended Reading List 291
Appendix C An Essay on Loneliness and Its Antidotes 293
Appendix D An Essay on Stress 297
Glossary of Medical Terms 299
Bibliography 305
Index 311
About the Author 325
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