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Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest
     

Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest

4.8 15
by A. Lee Martinez
 

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Witness the epic battle of the cyclops!

Visit the endangered dragon preserve! Please, no slaying.

Solve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare!

Buy some knick knacks from The Fates! They might come in handy later.

On a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this and more. If the curse placed upon

Overview

Witness the epic battle of the cyclops!

Visit the endangered dragon preserve! Please, no slaying.

Solve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare!

Buy some knick knacks from The Fates! They might come in handy later.

On a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this and more. If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn't kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don't catch up to them, Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece, where they might just end up destroying the world. Or at least a state or two.

A minotaur girl, an all-American boy, a three-legged dog, and a classic car are on the road to adventure, where every exit leads to adventure. Whether they like it or not.

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Helen's summer waitressing job at Magic Burger is cut short when her employer tries to sacrifice her to a lost god resembling a humanoid made of hamburger meat. When a handsome, multitalented coworker named Troy joins the fray, the god changes its plans and instead sends Helen and Troy on a quest to retrieve an unspecified number of artifacts for an unknown purpose. Although being a minotaur gives Helen some advantages in the modern world, she has little chance of winning Troy's affections. Accompanied by a three-legged dog and pursued by a motorcycle gang of orcs, Helen and Troy traverse a rarely traveled part of the American landscape, trusting destiny and the National Questing Bureau to guide their journey. VERDICT The author of Gil's All Fright Diner scores another winner with the zany adventures of a pair of intelligent, out-of-the-ordinary young adults in a world where humans and mythic creatures coexist. Martinez's full-blown comic talent places him in a category with Piers Anthony and Terry Pratchett as a master of comedic fantasy.
Publishers Weekly
The ever-mercurial Martinez (Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain) offers up a sweetly charming, gleefully entertaining tale of two teens traveling across the country, one mythic encounter at a time. Helen Nicolaides, a young woman suffering from minotaurism (hooves, tail, cow head, and all), and her coworker Troy Kawakami, who’s almost distressingly normal, are cursed by the long-forgotten Lost God to collect certain items of power, or else. (“Because that’s the way it is,” the god explains when Helen protests that quests are “arbitrary” and “stupid.”) With a little help from the National Questing Bureau, they set off, dealing with sleeping dragons, hungry witches, and a combative cyclops while a murderous pack of orc bikers follows in hot pursuit. Martinez is a master at making the fantastic so mundane it’s fantastic again. While too many familiar mythical elements may occasionally encourage readers to skim, sympathetic characters and a fast-paced plot filled with magic and adventure build to a rousing success from an author who reinvents himself with every new release. (July)
Locus
"Divine Misfortune reads like a mash-up of Neil Gaiman, Monty Python, and a sugar-bombed nine-year old."
sfsignal.com
"Divine Misfortune is a light and wonderful read from start to finish."
The A.V. Club on The Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain
"It's a guilty pleasure without guilt, and simply a blast to read."
From the Publisher
"It's a guilty pleasure without guilt, and simply a blast to read."—The A.V. Club on The Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain"

Abundant, zany humor."—Publishers Weekly on Monster"

Divine Misfortune reads like a mash-up of Neil Gaiman, Monty Python, and a sugar-bombed nine-year old."—Locus"

Divine Misfortune is a light and wonderful read from start to finish."—sfsignal.com"

Sweetly charming, gleefully entertaining tale of two teens traveling across the country, one mythic encounter at a time... Martinez is a master at making the fantastic so mundane it's fantastic again."—Publishers Weekly"

Another winner with the zany adventures of a pair of intelligent, out-of-the-ordinary young adults in a world where humans and mythic creatures coexist. Martinez's full-blown comic talent places him in a category with Piers Anthony and Terry Pratchett as a master of comedic fantasy."—Library Journal

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780316226448
Publisher:
Orbit
Publication date:
07/16/2013
Sold by:
Hachette Digital, Inc.
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
300
Sales rank:
216,078
File size:
908 KB

Meet the Author

A. Lee Martinez was born in El Paso, Texas. At the age of eighteen, for no apparent reason, he started writing novels. Thirteen short years (and a little over a dozen manuscripts) later, his first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner, was published. His hobbies include juggling, games of all sorts, and astral projecting. Also, he likes to sing along with the radio when he's in the car by himself. For more information on the author, check out www.aleemartinez.com

Customer Reviews

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Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 15 reviews.
silverarrowknits More than 1 year ago
Helen and Troy are just two regular teenagers. Okay, well Helen is a Minotaur and Troy is as close to a hero as you can get (he doesn't like dogs). Anyway, Helen and Troy are just two regular teenagers who almost get eaten by a god and then are forced to go on an epic road quest to get an unknown number of unknown relics in an unknown period of time. As you can imagine, Helen and Troy aren't so excited about this quest. Luckily, the National Questing Bureau and Achilles, Helen and Troy's trusty sidekick dog, help them along the way. Because the other gods are not sure that the questing adventures aren't going to kill Helen and Troy, they also send a band of orcs after them. Helen and Troy probably wish that they called in sick to work right now and never started on this merry adventure. This book is so much fun. Once I started reading it, I could not stop. Helen and Troy are quirky but fairly calm about this whole situation. I guess when Minotaurs, orcs, and gods are real, you just have to go with the flow. The writing is fantastic, the characters are charming, and the plot is entertaining. This book is the perfect way to spend an afternoon. The book lost one star, because I feel like the book was a bit tidy with the climax at the end; however, I am willing to look past the ending, because the rest of the book was just a rollicking good time.
Robert-Rubin More than 1 year ago
I love this book. It is fun from beginning to end, without any question. Helen is smart, practical, and refreshingly original. Troy is cliched in all the right ways, but without all those irritating habits like being predictable or empty of personality.  Everything is so on the sleeve and enjoyable it is hard to put this book down. If you don't like your stories with a lot of tongue-in-cheek, then this may not be for you, but the author does a great job of maintaining a balance of wit and originality, making it all seem appropriate rather than overdone. If this is your first A. Lee Martinez book, you are in for a treat. If you are a long time fan, then you know the drill: sit back, read, and laugh. 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved the Suttle romance, great anti hero/villain and all the great fun.
BookWyrm_the_Devourer More than 1 year ago
Aside from a few dips, Martinez gets better with every book; and this, Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest, shows him at top form and, arguably, crafting one of his most memorable characters in Helen. Martinez has a gift of breathing a genuine human spirit into non-human characters like Helen (and even Nessie, from Too Many Curses) that not many other fantasy writers are willing to do. Aside from Steven Erikson, whose tone and fantasy-style is vastly different, I can't think of another writer willing to invest the amount of depth that Martinez does in a non-human character. And that's what makes this book great. Things that seem silly or tropes get reinvented in this book. Orcs, relegated by civilization to honing their martial prowess at bookkeeping, become weekend bikers who finally get the chance to connect to their pre-civ life in hunting down the titular characters, something easy to laugh at until you realize that's a bit like us! Highly recommended!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
* slashes at the bark and returns back to mansion*
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Sketched a target on one of the trees and began throwing knives at it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
His books tend to be hit or miss with me, and this was a definite hit. It was a fun natured novel, more reminiscent of Gil's or Divine Misfortune rather than some of his novels that have a less defined plot.
runnerdc More than 1 year ago
I am a big fan of Martinez's series of monsters having human issues while in the process of saving the world. This is a fun read and even though it is the same formula that has been used in previous novels, it's a fun escape.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Seriously, buy it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
As always, a fun ride that sucks you in. Never a dull moment, highly recomend