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Overview
Martha Graham meets Madonna
Igor Stravinsky meets Walt Disney
Frank Lloyd Wright meets Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Monroe meets Nikita Khrushchev
President Richard Nixon meets Elvis Presley
Harpo Marx meets George Bernard Shaw
Cecil Beaton meets Mick Jagger
Salvador Dali meets Sigmund Freud
Groucho Marx meets T.S. Eliot
Brilliant in conception, Hello Goodbye Hello shows how the celebrated and gifted—like the rest of us— got along famously or disastrously or indifferently with one another, but, thanks to Craig Brown, always to our amusement and entertainment.
From an opening story in which Adolf Hitler survives being knocked down by a careless English driver in 1931 to the Duchess of Windsor’s meeting with the Führer over tea, and 99 others in between, Hello Goodbye Hello is the perfect example that truth is stranger than fiction (and infinitely more enjoyable).
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9781451684520 |
---|---|
Publisher: | Simon & Schuster |
Publication date: | 08/07/2012 |
Sold by: | SIMON & SCHUSTER |
Format: | eBook |
Pages: | 384 |
File size: | 2 MB |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
MARILYN MONROE
WEARS HER TIGHTEST, SEXIEST DRESS FOR
NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV
The Café de Paris, Hollywood
September 19th 1959
In her bungalow at the Beverly Hills Hotel, Marilyn Monroe is preparing to meet the Soviet Premier, Nikita Khrushchev. When she was first invited, his name hadn’t rung a bell, and she wasn’t keen to go. It was only when her studio told her that in Russia, America meant two things, Coca-Cola and Marilyn Monroe, that she changed her mind. ‘She loved hearing that,’ recalls Lena Pepitone, her maid. Marilyn tells Lena that the studio wants her to wear her tightest, sexiest dress. ‘I guess there’s not much sex in Russia,’ she concludes.
Her preparations are lengthy and elaborate, involving a masseuse, a hairdresser and a make-up artist. When they are halfway through, the president of Twentieth Century-Fox, Spyros Skouras, arrives, just to make sure that, for once in her life, Marilyn will be on time. As agreed, she squeezes into a low-cut, skin-tight black lace dress. Her chauffeur drops her at the studio before noon. The parking lot is empty. ‘We must be late! It must be over!’ gasps Marilyn. In fact, they are far too early.37
Nikita Khrushchev’s American tour has had more than its share of ups and downs. He is a temperamental character, apt to flair up at the slightest provocation. Perhaps because of this, the American media cannot get enough of him. ‘It’s Khrush, Khrushy, Khrushchev!’ writes a columnist for the New York Daily News. ‘The fellow’s all over the dials these days ... The pudgy Soviet dictator is smiling, laughing, scowling, shaking his forefinger or clenching his iron fist.’ Others have been less generous. A rival columnist in the New York Mirror describes him as ‘a rural dolt unwittingly proving a case against himself and his system’. The three main television networks show live coverage of his visit, repeating it every night in special thirty-minute bulletins. He is followed everywhere by 342 reporters and photographers, the largest travelling media group the world has ever known.
On the fifth day of his tour, Khrushchev arrives in Los Angeles, in time for lunch for four hundred people at Twentieth Century-Fox. There has been such demand for places that spouses have been banned unless they also happen to be stars. There are one or two couples – Elizabeth Taylor and Eddie Fisher, Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh – but they are few and far between.
Khrushchev enters a packed room. Everyone who is anyone is here: Edward G. Robinson, Judy Garland, Ginger Rogers, Kirk Douglas, Shelley Winters, Dean Martin, Debbie Reynolds, Nat ‘King’ Cole, Frank Sinatra, Maurice Chevalier, Zsa Zsa Gabor. Mrs Khrushchev is seated between Bob Hope and Gary Cooper. Conversation proves stilted.
‘Why don’t you move out here? You’ll like the climate,’ suggests Cooper.
‘No,’ replies Mrs Khrushchev. ‘Moscow is all right for me.’
Khrushchev is on the top table, next to Skouras. Lunch has its awkward moments. When Khrushchev is told that his spur-of-the-moment request to visit Disneyland has been turned down, owing to security worries, he sends the American Ambassador to the UN a furious note. ‘I understand you have cancelled the trip to Disneyland. I am most displeased.’
The after-lunch speeches are awkward. Khrushchev heckles Skouras during his speech of welcome, and further heckles Henry Cabot Lodge as he speaks of America’s affection for Russian culture. ‘Have you seen They Fought for Their Homeland?’ he yells. ‘It is based on a novel by Mikhail Sholokhov.’
‘No.’
‘Well, buy it. You should see it.’
In his own speech, Khrushchev grows very bullish. ‘I have a question for you. Which country has the best ballet? Yours?! You do not even have a permanent opera and ballet theatre! Your theatres thrive on what is given to them by rich people! In our country, it is the state that gives the money! And the best ballet is in the Soviet Union! It is our pride!’
After going on like this for forty-five minutes, he suddenly seems to remember something. ‘Just now, I was told that I could not go to Disneyland. I asked, “Why not? What is it? Do you have rocket-launching pads there?” Just listen to what I was told: “We” – which means the American authorities – “cannot guarantee your security there.” What is it? Is there an epidemic of cholera there? Have gangsters taken hold of the place?’ He punches the air, and starts to look angry. ‘That’s the situation I find myself in. For me, such a situation is inconceivable. I cannot find words to explain this to my people!’
At last he sits down. The Hollywood audience applauds. As he is being shown to the sound stage to watch the movie Can-Can being filmed,38 he recognises Marilyn Monroe and darts over to shake her hand. All wide-eyed, Marilyn delivers a line that Natalie Wood, a fluent Russian speaker, has coached her to say. For once, she gets it right first time: ‘We the workers of Twentieth Century-Fox rejoice that you have come to visit our studio and country.’
Khrushchev seems to appreciate her effort. ‘He looked at me the way a man looks on a woman,’ she recalls.
‘You’re a very lovely young lady,’ he says, squeezing her hand.
‘My husband, Arthur Miller, sends you his greeting. There should be more of this kind of thing. It would help both our countries understand each other.’
Afterwards, Marilyn Monroe enthuses, ‘This is about the biggest day in the history of the movie business.’ But when she gets back home, she has changed her tune. ‘He was fat and ugly and had warts on his face and he growled,’ she tells Lena. ‘Who would want to be a Communist with a President like that?’39
But she is pretty sure that the Premier enjoyed their meeting. ‘I could tell Khrushchev liked me. He smiled more when he was introduced to me than for anybody else at the whole banquet. And everybody else was there. He squeezed my hand so long and so hard that I thought he would break it. I guess it was better than having to kiss him.’
Table of Contents
Note to the U.S. Edition xvii
Author s Note xxi
Adolf Hitler + John Scott-Ellis 1
John Scott-Ellis + Rudyard Kipling 4
Rudyard Kipling + Mark Twain 7
Mark Twain + Helen Keller 11
Helen Keller + Martha Graham 14
Martha Graham + Madonna 17
Madonna + Michael Jackson 20
Michael Jackson + Nancy Reagan 23
Nancy Reagan + Andy Warhol 26
Andy Warhol + Jackie Kennedy 29
Jackie Kennedy + HM Queen Elizabeth II 32
HM Queen Elizabeth II + The Duke of Windsor 35
The Duke of Windsor + Elizabeth Taylor 38
Elizabeth Taylor + James Dean 41
James Dean + Alec Guinness 44
Alec Guinness + Evelyn Waugh 47
Evelyn Waugh + Igor Stravinsky 51
Igor Stravinsky + Walt Disney 54
Walt Disney + P.L. Travers 57
P.L. Travers + George Ivanovich Gurdjieff 61
George Ivanovich Gurdjieff + Frank Lloyd Wright 64
Frank Lloyd Wright + Marilyn Monroe 67
Marilyn Monroe + Nikita Khrushchev 70
Nikita Khrushchev + George Brown 74
George Brown + Eli Wallach 78
Eh Wallach +Frank Sinatra 82
Frank Sinatra + Dominick Dunne 85
Dominick Dunne + Phil Spector 88
Phil Spector + Leonard Cohen 91
Leonard Cohen + Janis Joplin 94
Janis Joplin + Patti Smith 97
Patti Smith + Allen Ginsberg 100
Allen Ginsberg + Francis Bacon 103
Francis Bacon + HRH Princess Margaret 106
HRH Princess Margaret + Kenneth Tynan 109
Kenneth Tynan + Truman Capote 112
Truman Capote + Peggy Lee 115
Peggy Lee + President Richard M. Nixon 119
President Richard M. Nixon + Elvis Presley 123
Elvis Presley + Paul McCartney 127
Paul McCartney + Noël Coward 130
Noël Coward + Prince Felix Youssoupoff 133
Prince Felix Youssoupoff + Grigori Rasputin 136
Grigori Rasputin + Tsar Nicholas II 139
Tsar Nicholas II + Harry Houdini 142
Harry Houdini + President Theodore Roosevelt 145
President Theodore Roosevelt + H.G. Wells 149
H.G. Wells + Josef Stalin 152
Josef Stalin + Maxim Gorky 155
Maxim Gorky + Leo Tolstoy 158
Leo Tolstoy + Pyotr Il'ich Tchaikovsky 161
Pyotr Il'ich Tchaikovsky + Sergei Rachmaninoff 164
Sergei Rachmaninoff + Harpo Marx 167
Harpo Marx + George Bernard Shaw 170
George Bernard Shaw + Bertrand Russell 174
Bertrand Russell + Sarah Miles 177
Sarah Miles + Terence Stamp 181
Terence Stamp + Edward Heath 184
Edward Heath + Walter Sickert 188
Walter Sickert + Winston Churchill 192
Winston Churchill + Laurence Olivier 195
Laurence Olivier + J.D. Salinger 198
J.D. Salinger + Ernest Hemingway 202
Ernest Hemingway + Ford Madox Ford 206
Ford Madox Ford + Oscar Wilde 209
Oscar Wilde + Marcel Proust 212
Marcel Proust + James Joyce 215
James Joyce + Harold Nicolson 219
Harold Nicolson + Cecil Beaton 222
Cecil Beaton + Mick Jagger 225
Mick Jagger + Tom Driberg 228
Tom Driberg + Christopher Hitchens 232
Christopher Hitchens + George Galloway 236
George Galloway + Michael Barrymore 240
Michael Barrymore + Diana, Princess of Wales 244
Diana, Princess of Wales + Princess Grace 247
Princess Grace + Alfred Hitchcock 250
Alfred Hitchcock + Raymond Chandler 253
Raymond Chandler + Howard Hawks 256
Howard Hawks + Howard Hughes 259
Howard Hughes + Cubby Broccoli 262
Cubby Broccoli + George Lazenby 266
George Lazenby + Simon Dee 269
Simon Dee + Michael Ramsey 272
Michael Ramsey + Geoffrey Fisher 276
Geoffrey Fisher + Roald Dahl 279
Roald Dahl + Kingsley Amis 282
Kingsley Amis + Anthony Armstrong-Jones 285
Lord Snowdon + Barry Humphries 288
Barry Humphries + Salvador Dalí 291
Salvador Dalí + Sigmund Freud 294
Sigmund Freud + Gustav Mahler 297
Gustav Mahler + Auguste Rodin 301
Auguste Rodin + Isadora Duncan 304
Isadora Duncan + Jean Cocteau 307
Jean Cocteau + Charlie Chaplin 311
Charlie Chaplin + Groucho Marx 314
Groucho Marx + T.S. Eliot 317
T.S. Eliot + Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother 321
Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother + The Duchess of Windsor 325
The Duchess of Windsor + Adolf Hitler 329
Acknowledgements 333
Bibliography 335