Help, I'm in Love with a Narcissist

( 7 )

Overview

Written with the compassionate language that people have come to rely upon and expect from these proven relationship experts, this book goes beyond an explanation of the condition to help men and women avoid the self-destructive permanence of remaining with people incapable of loving anyone but themselves.

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Overview

Written with the compassionate language that people have come to rely upon and expect from these proven relationship experts, this book goes beyond an explanation of the condition to help men and women avoid the self-destructive permanence of remaining with people incapable of loving anyone but themselves.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Christina, a successful 38-year-old real estate agent, was very happy with Len, who initially overwhelmed her with compliments, care and concern; once she had fallen in love with him, he suddenly began to insist that his needs and plans and schedules come first. Christina was in love with a narcissist-and in their new guide, the authors of Men Who Can't Love tell how to recognize such a beast, the dangers of loving one and strategies for ending a relationship with a person who always puts "me" first. The authors point out that we all may exhibit narcissistic tendencies at times, but the true narcissist is incapable of a give-and-take relationship. The authors acknowledge that they are writers, not therapists, and base their theories on anecdotes, written in very accessible language, rather than on academic research. Many interviews were conducted with both men and women completely seduced by narcissists, who can, according to the authors, be extremely charismatic. Carter and Sokol detail behavioral cues that can identify a narcissist and look at the causes of narcissism, chief among them being raised by narcissistic parents. Carter and Sokol provide a number of coping skills for those involved with narcissists, but their advice boils down to taking care of yourself first and seeking outside support. Agent, Barbara Lowenstein. (Jan. 10) Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781590770771
  • Publisher: M. Evans & Company
  • Publication date: 1/28/2005
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 245,888
  • Product dimensions: 6.22 (w) x 9.12 (h) x 0.94 (d)

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 7 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 4, 2005

    Been there, Done that!

    This book is a God-send! My ex-husband and I have been divorced for almost a year. Prior to that, we were separated for 3 years, and married for a total of 12 years. My relationship with my ex-husband evolved in the exact pattern described by the authors as 'narcissistic/commitmentphobic': 1)The beginning: when he made me feel 'intensely special', like I was the woman and life partner he adored and had hoped for all his life, 2)The middle: when we got married and he quickly began to emotionally withdraw little by little, 3)The end: when he kept running away and I spent years trying desperately to figure out why he would do nothing to save our marriage while I did everything known to man to try to reach him, get him to understand and respond to my needs, and get back to the loving commitment I thought we had made, and, 4)The bitter end: when he ended the marriage--leaving me bewildered, heartbroken, feeling totally rejected, devalued & completely meaningless! After years of refusing to address any of our problems but telling me he loved me, my ex-husband ultimately agreed to go to counselling--but never really addressed our marital problems and finally rejected all efforts by our therapist and me to discuss or modify his destructive behaviors. Fortunately, our therapist was a 30-year accredited professional who diagnosed my ex-husband with 4 mental illnesses, including Narcissistic Personality Disorder (toxic narcissism). Even after learning these diagnoses and reading everything I could get my hands on to understand the psychological torture I lived through, I was still reeling from the pain of what our therapist referred to as a form of psychological domestic abuse. My ex-husband NEVER changed in the slightest, no matter what I did, despite his health, his business and our marriage going down the drain. This book describes the characteristics and painful reality of loving a narcissist in the most accurate detail I have ever seen! I felt that my 15-year attempt at relationship with my ex-husband was being described on almost every page. This is an insidious personality disorder--but it is predictable, recognizable and avoidable IF you learn what narcissism is, its behavior patterns, the red flags, and your own personal susceptibilities. Narcissism is a seductive, manipulative destroyer of relationships. Learn how to distinguish between 'normal' selfish issues and true narcissism, and how to protect yourself from narcissism's ravages by reading this eye-opening, supportive book. How I wish I had known how to recognize what was happening to me! How thankful I am that these authors have made it possible to help others avoid and begin to recover from this brutal abuse! A 'must read' for anyone who has experienced being 'swept off your feet' by a potential romantic partner! Katie Holmes--be careful!! If it feels too good to be true--it just might be!! As the authors point out: 'if you think you are being offered the relationship of a lifetime, you'll have a lifetime to enjoy it, so take it slow'. This book was an enormous step in my healing process: in validating and clarifying the overwhelming reality of what I experienced but couldn't understand at the time, and in helping me recognize and avoid narcissists in the future. This valuable information has helped me see that I am not alone in this recovery. It also helped me recognize these characteristics in a man I had started going out with after my divorce, and who I eventually decided to stop dating because I saw the red flags. Now, I'm working on the things about myself which, according to the authors, likely made me a prime target for narcissists! I DO believe that there is life after narcissism, and happy, healthy relationships to look forward to in the future!!!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 23, 2005

    Aha! So this explains almost everthing!

    Such a breakthrough book that simply and conceisely explains this condition that frankly 2 years of therapy failed to do. If you even suspect that someone in your life touches on these issues, read it, you will be grateful for the insight. One of the most memorable 'self-help'/'realtionship' books I think I have ever laid hands on.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 16, 2005

    it's not you

    It's them. Toxic narcissists are incredibly destructive people, and if you become entangled with one, you may very well be emotionally damaged as a result. Carter and Sokol give the rest of us the tools to recognize and deal with narcissists, as well as offering the strength to leave the relationship. The book also includes information from their previous book, Men Who Can't Love- the combination of toxic narcissism and commitment phobia is deadly for anyone who wants a normal, stable relationship. Overall, the book is easy to read, and, as opposed to some books in this genre, doesn't blame the victim and instead gives readers concrete information that will help them deal with people who have this personality disorder.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 7, 2014

    Great book!

    Very helpful book for anyone struggling to recover after being devalued and discarded by a narcissistic partner.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 5, 2007

    Such an informative book!

    This book will educate you about your narcissistic partner, parent, or friend in a very easy to read, detailed way.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 30, 2014

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted October 15, 2008

    No text was provided for this review.

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