Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way

Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way

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by M. Gary Neuman, Patricia Romanowski
     
 

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Divorce is painful and confusing. Perhaps now more than ever, you want to give your child all the love, support, and guidance he or she needs, but everything seems harder and more complicated. Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way can help. Based on Gary Neuman's phenomenally successful Sandcastles program, which has helped more than fifty

Overview

Divorce is painful and confusing. Perhaps now more than ever, you want to give your child all the love, support, and guidance he or she needs, but everything seems harder and more complicated. Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way can help. Based on Gary Neuman's phenomenally successful Sandcastles program, which has helped more than fifty thousand children cope with divorce, this warm, empathetic guide shows you:

  How to build a co-parenting relationship—even when you think you can't

  When you or your child should see a therapist

   Age-appropriate scripts for addressing sensitive issues

  What to do when a parent moves away

  How to stop fighting with your ex-spouse

  How to navigate the emotional turmoil of custody and visitation

  How to help your child deal with change

  How to cope with kids' common fears about separation

  How to introduce significant others into the family and help your child cope with a new stepfamily

More than a hundred pieces of artwork from children of divorce will help you appreciate how kids perceive the experience. Dozens of special activities and fun exercises will help you communicate and get closer to your child. This guide shows you that divorce need not be an inevitable blot on children's lives, but an opportunity for them to grow and strengthen the bonds with their parents.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Gary Neuman has a wonderful way of nourishing parents while reminding us that there are no simple ways to help children through complicated family times. Whether we're parents, grandparents, or friends, all of us can be grateful for Gary's encouragement to be natural as we talk to—and listen to—our children. We can also be thankful for his support as we reach out for extra help when we feel we need it."        —Fred Rogers, creator of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood

"Of all the how-to advice about divorce on the market, the best is probably wrapped up in the book Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way. It's sympathetic, practical and loving; it covers all the problems faced by children of divorce; and it gives an excellent rundown of the reactions you can expect, age by age."   — The Washington Post

Library Journal
More than 20,000 children have taken part in the SandcastlesTM program, a method through which children of divorcing parents learn to cope with the breakup by meeting with each other and trained counselors. This program, completed in one 3.5-hour session, is available in Miami, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh, and dozens of other cities. Neuman, a couselor, rabbi, and creator of the SandcastlesTM program, encourages children to speak, draw, and write to help them express their feelings and realize that they are not alone, weird, or at fault. Here he writes for parents who may not have access to the sessions and want to help their children through the experience of divorce. This is a thorough guide, using the art, letters, prose, and expressions from children in SandcastlesTM programs across the country. Sidebars, quotations, "dos and don'ts," and surveys make it easy to read. Highly recommended for all parenting shelves.--Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PA

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780679778011
Publisher:
Random House Publishing Group
Publication date:
07/28/1999
Pages:
480
Sales rank:
221,006
Product dimensions:
7.35(w) x 9.17(h) x 1.14(d)

Meet the Author

M. Gary Neuman is a licensed mental-health counselor, a Florida Supreme Court-certified mediator,  a rabbi, and the creator of the nationally recognized Sandcastles program for children of divorce. His work has been featured on National Public Radio, Dateline, the Today show, Good Morning America, and elsewhere. He lives with his wife and five children in Miami Beach, Florida. Patricia Romanowski is the coauthor of sixteen books. She lives on Long Island with her husband, author Philip Bashe, and their son, Justin.

For more information on The Sandcastles Program, contact www.sandcastlesprogram.com.

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Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 11 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I agree with the one star rating above, that the perhaps feminists in this world support the idea that every other weekend with Dad is enough. Divorce is a devastating thing as a child's roots are ripped from the ground. The idea of quality time being enough isn't the answer. It is quantity of time, and that should be allowed as much as possible with both parents. 2 weeks passing before you see your child is outrageous. I have seen the mother ask others to watch the children, when the father was available. If you want the child to still have a sense of security and home, then you must allow access to both parents whenever. Often times, too, the mother and her family won't allow access to the father on her time. This is so wrong. The children should be allowed this, any time of day or night, and should never be denied that, just like they would have it if they were in a happy home, with both parents. A critical element is that when the mother cannot be with them, the father must be given first opportunity, before others.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I was having a very hard time communicating with my 6 year old son. He wanted to be with his dad always. I felt like I had nothing in common with him and that I was not able to understand his feelings. This book gave me creative ways to communicate with him. I can see a difference and he opens up to me much more. I am so thankful for this book. All divorces are different. This book seems to address many issues. My kids, their dad and I are very lucky that we have a very good relationship despite being in 2 different homes. This book has helped to smooth out some of the buymps in the road.
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Busy__Mom More than 1 year ago
After reading the summary on ParentsDigest, I knew this was the book I needed. It covers every imaginable topic and situation that arises when parents divorce.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is particularly interesting for its use of kids' art to show their emotions.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I thought this book was great! All that I have read was very informative and exactly how I have handled my children during their time of a divorce. Would reccomend it to anyone who needed help.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I found this book to be very helpful, especially in terms of how to work things out between the parents. It gives many examples of how to relate to the kids at different ages. I recommend it highly. I credit the book with helping my ex and I create a positive environment for our children as well as helping us relate better to each other. By the way, I think the reader who gave it one star really missed the boat on this.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The negative stereotypical examples of uninvolved and bad fathers permeate this book and show the gender bigotry that exists in society today. While a maximum visitation schedule of every other weekend (35-40%)is recommended for only the best fathers, Neuman just doesn't understand what is really in the child's best interests - alot of quality time with both parents. This book is a typical rehash of the feminist agenda, and seems to reflect the current social worker/psychologist/custody evaluator/judge view that shared parenting time and fathers are a bad idea.
Guest More than 1 year ago
excellent, sensitive and thorough treatment of this tough topic. i use this book like a Bible and lend it out a lot. my girls are better off for what I have learned with this book. pay no attention to the nonsense spouted here by critics of 'feminist' agendas. these people typically front organizations that aim to keep child support low. shame on those who second guess single moms, many of whom are stuck with the bulk of the work and a fraction of the income.