He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe In Himself

by Adam Price

Overview

“Clinical psychologist Price offers one of the most significant books of the year in this new look at an old problem—the underperforming teenage boy… Price’s book brings an important voice to a much needed conversation.” —Library Journal (Starred review)

On the surface, capable teenage boys may look lazy. But dig a little deeper, writes child psychologist Adam Price in He’s Not Lazy, and you’ll often find conflicted boys who want to do well in middle and high school but are afraid to fail, and so do not try. This book can help you become an ally with your son, as he discovers greater self-confidence and accepts responsibility for his future.
 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781454943532
Publisher:	Union Square & Co.
Publication date:	10/19/2021
Series:	He's Not Lazy
Pages:	288
Sales rank:	311,511
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Adam Price, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author, has worked with children, adolescents, and their families for more than 25 years. He is an expert in learning disabilities and ADHD. Dr. Price lectures nationally to parents and educators, and has trained numerous clinicians in family and child therapy. He has written for both academic and popular publications, including The Wall Street Journal and Family Circle Magazine, and currently writes a column for Psychology Today. Dr. Price maintains a private practice in New York City and Chatham, NJ.
 

Table of Contents

Introduction xi

Part I He's Not Lazy

Chapter 1 Let Me Reintroduce You to Your Son 3

Chapter 2 Shifting Bodies, Shifting Minds 19

Chapter 3 If I Only Had a Brain 47

Chapter 4 Leap Before You Look 63

Chapter 5 Big Boys Don't Cry 91

Chapter 6 Too Cool for School 113

Part II From Conflict To Change: The Seeds Of Motivation

Chapter 7 The Paradoxical Response and the Plot for False Independence 139

Chapter 8 Putting the Self Back in Self-Control 147

Chapter 9 Autonomy-A New Way Forward 155

Chapter 10 How to Stop Rescuing Your Son and Start Supporting His Autonomy 167

Chapter 11 Helicopters, Lawn Mowers, and Drones: Why Parents Control Their Kids 195

Chapter 12 I Think I Can 211

Chapter 13 Connection 225

Appendix: Homework Predictor 233

Backward Planner 234

The Decision Grid 234

Exploring Values 235

The Goal Setter 236

Worry Log 241

Thought Journal 242

Suggested Reading 243

Notes 245

Acknowledgments 259

Index 263

About the Author 272

Editorial Reviews

03/20/2017
Clinical psychologist Price maintains that increasingly competitive American society has fostered an epidemic of motivation-lacking teens and preteens, especially boys. His informative debut book focuses on those who “ ‘opt-out’ of the competition altogether” when they feel inadequate to meet the many demands placed on them. In the first section, he helps parents understand these boys’ struggles by outlining how a variety of issues affect the way they act and feel, including their changing minds and bodies, their often-neglected emotions, and their learning styles. The second section provides tools, suggestions, and guidelines for setting parents and their teenage sons on a path to self-motivation. Price reinforces his theory with case studies, expert commentary, clinical research, and statistics, adding substance to this already instructive guide. Charts and tables peppered throughout visually highlight the statistics and examples he references, and an appendix features a series of planning worksheets for teenage boys and their parents. Price’s book will provide inspiration for scores of parents seeking to understand why their sons are floundering, and will encourage greater acceptance for how today’s teenage boys face challenges. (Aug.)

Publishers Weekly

*“Clinical psychologist Price offers one of the most significant books of the year in this new look at an old problem—the underperforming teenage boy. . . . With today’s kids being pushed harder than ever to perform and succeed at an early age, Price’s book brings an important voice to a much needed conversation. VERDICT Highly recommended.” — Library Journal (Starred review)

“Price addresses a situation he refers to as ‘opting out,’ in which teen boys appear lazy when in fact they are reacting to fear and pressure by shunning school with avoidance and denial. Price offers examples, lessons, and advice from his 25 years as a psychologist. While the book is filled with well-documented research, it is accessible to general readers. Price helps readers make a paradigm shift in how they view their sons’ behavior, explains the science behind human brain development, provides instructions for creating a plan for success, and most importantly, outlines how parents can change their own attitudes. The parents’ change in perspective is the most important key; in the process, they will help their sons create self-sufficient, self-regulated plans. Parents, college students, teachers, and psychologists will gain a better understanding of the problem and know how to help teen boys who are going through it have a successful school career. A good addition for public library parenting collections as well as academic libraries.” —Booklist
 
“Price’s book will provide inspiration for scores of parents seeking to understand why their sons are floundering, and will encourage greater acceptance for how today’s teenage boys face challenges.” —Publishers Weekly

“. . . a user-friendly text for parents and patients . . . Although geared towards an understanding of boys, many of these pearls of wisdom are easily applicable to girls given the authors heavy leaning on gender neutral developmental theories and science. . . . the unexpected genius of He’s Not Lazy is the comprehensive yet gentle way Price explores parents’ intergenerational contributions to their son’s difficulties. This makes He’s Not Lazy a worthy purchase for parents and clinicians alike.” —NJ Psychologist
 
 


“I am not sure whether I love He’s Not Lazy more as a mother of two teen boys or as an educator who has worked with boys for over twenty years. What I do know is that He’s Not Lazy offers a truly thoughtful, commonsense approach to dealing with adolescent boys. It shows you how to read them and manage yourself in your interactions with these sometimes mysterious and frustrating people. And the stakes really couldn’t be higher: Our boys need us to understand them, so they can develop into confident, emotionally strong men.”
—Rosalind Wiseman, educator and author of Queen Bees and Wannabes, 3rd Edition: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World

From the Publisher

★ 06/15/2017
Clinical psychologist Price offers one of the most significant books of the year in this new look at an old problem—the underperforming teenage boy. Many parents will relate to the dynamic of the "opt-out kid," who Price argues is, contrary to appearances, not lazy but rather "overcome by demands that he fears he simply cannot meet." These kids tend to fall into four categories: Mr. Oppositional, Mr. Do-It-For-Me, Mr. Popular, and Mr. Uncertain. Supporting three touchstones of masculinity (competence, control, and connection), the author then presents specific tips for striking a balance between giving your kid space and setting limits (e.g., stop taking the opt-out attitude personally, stop telling him how smart he is, etc.). With today's kids being pushed harder than ever to perform and succeed at an early age, Price's book brings an important voice to a much-needed conversation. VERDICT Highly recommended.

Library Journal