High-Heeled Manners: If You Obey All the Rules, You'll Miss All the Fun

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781573242226
  • Publisher: Red Wheel/Weiser
  • Publication date: 3/28/2005
  • Pages: 64
  • Product dimensions: 5.20 (w) x 5.70 (h) x 0.60 (d)

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High-Heeled Manners

If You Obey All the Rules, You'll Miss All the Fun


By Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

Copyright © 2005 Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-57324-222-6



CHAPTER 1

Pinkie-Wagging High Tea


Hosting a formal high tea sounds daunting, so don't do it. Opt for an interpretation of this British art form and invite your girlfriends over for an afternoon of girl talk and dainty sipping. Whether you go all out and polish up your tea service or just boil some water, the fun part here is to have an array of different teas to try, from exotic fruit-infused blends to simple herbal standbys. Make finger sandwiches and scones (or better yet, pick some up at a bakery). Play dress up and invite the girls to wear hats and pearls.


Test Your Chick Quotient

"To have good friends, you gotta be a good friend."

If your mother didn't tell you this, consider yourself notified. Or maybe you already know what it takes to be achick's best friend. Take the test below to see how your friendship abilities rate.

1. Your girlfriend has not returned your calls after you've left her two messages. Do you

a. Feel hurt and wait for her to call you back?

b. Call her again and tell her you miss her?

2. Your girlfriend's date repeatedly brushes against you and boldly grabs your behind. Do you

a. Take him aside and tell him what a louse he is, but save your girlfriend the embarrassment?

b. Feign something is in your eye, take your friend aside and tell her the guy's a creep?

3. Your girlfriend gives you a truly horrible scarf for your birthday. Do you

a. Tell her flat out it's not you and ask if you can return it?

b. Wear it fondly when she's around?

4. Your girlfriend's had one margarita too many and begins to tango quite clumsily but lustily with a lounge lizard. Do you

a. Cheer them on and order another round?

b. Grab her by the ear and tell Godzilla she's got someplace to be?


The Results for Testing Your Chick Quotient

Mostly "a" answers: Go straight to the Girlfriend Hall of Shame.

Mostly "b" answers: You got it goin' on, sister, and you probably have a gaggle of die-hard chick friends to prove it.

Half and half: There's hope. You have what it takes but you get a little stuck sometimes. Rule of thumb: Follow your heart and consider what the best move is to support your girlfriends and foster their success and happiness. You can't go wrong with that.

"It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanism of friendship."

— Colette


Flower Power

Following is a veritable garden of blossoms and plants with their various meanings. Inscribe a card to your girlfriend identifying the significance of each bloom to decode your sentiments. For a truly special touch, write the note on parchment, roll it up, and secure it with a pretty ribbon.

Blues-busting Bouquet

Chrysanthemum: Hope

Freesia: Calmness

Gladiola: Natural grace

Jasmine: Good wishes

Red geranium: Comfort


You Lost Ten Pounds and Look Like A Goddess Bouquet

Bird Of Paradise: Exotic and wonderful

Delphinium: Swiftness and light

Heather: Passion

Pink flowers: Any variety, the color means perfection


Best Friends Forever Bouquet

Forget-me-nots: Keep me in your heart

Periwinkle: Promise

Sunflower: Adoration, strength, longevity

Roses: Love


And a Brownie Smile to You

Do you remember the Three Brownie Bs, the principles all Brownies (Girl Scouts ages 5–8) are taught to memorize?

# 1. Be Discoverers

# 2. Be Ready Helpers

# 3. Be Friend-Makers


SAY ANYTHING?

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."

—Alice Roosevelt Longworth

"Show me someone who never gossips, and I'll show you someone who isn't interested in people."

—Barbara Walters


TIPS ON GOSSIPING

"Remember: people talk "stink" about others because they have little self-esteem. Rise above that."

—Shari Ilalaole's Mother

"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."

—Dorothy Nevill, British Author, Social Hostess


Shoo Fly Don't Bother Me

Ever set out for a fabulously fun night with the gals, only to have it spoiled by the arrival of some lecherous hangers-on of the male persuasion? Some of our chick friends have come up with creative ways of getting those overly persistent guys out of your hair (for the night, at least).


THE CRYING GAME

If you notice a shark circling your group, quickly grab a bar napkin and start "sobbing." We're talking loud, gut-wrenching sobs while your girlfriends pet and coo, "There, there." Girlfriends should join in on the wailing, grabbing more and more bar napkins for the inevitable nose blowing. Don't worry if the "sobbing" develops into hysterical laughter; it'll sound legit.


THE ONE-UP(WO)MANSHIP

When the unwelcome one tries to impress you with his manly accomplishments, insist on talking about your feats. No matter what he's done, you've done it first, more often, better, and with superior style. And sohas your best girlfriend. Drag her into the conversation so that she can add lines like, "Oh, you've only done the climb once—what's wrong? Ya got scared?" (Make chicken sounds.) "Well goodness! Did you crawl over the finish line or what?" (Make dog pants.)


EMILY POST: Never Short on Good Advice

"All women who have any clothes sense whatever know more or less the type of things that are their style—unless they have such an attack of fashionitis as to be irresponsibly delirious."

"A conspicuous evidence of bad style that has persisted through numberless changes in fashion is the over-dressed and over-trimmed head."

"When in doubt, wear the plainer dress. It is always better to beunder-dressed than over-dressed."

EMERGENCY FASHION TIPS

No Need to Call 911

Hem come loose and no thread in sight? Try masking tape or a stapler.

Bring your patent leather shoes back to life with petroleum jelly. Rub a pea-sized amount into the leather.

Use a black felt-tipped laundry marker to cover over cracks in black leather shoes or to cover a light-colored stain on any black cloth.

No, freezing your panty hose will not keep a run from spreading, but clear nail polish will.


Miss Manners on Shopping

If you must use your cell phone, take it outside the store. Don't make phone calls while looking through racks of clothes or when a saleswoman is ringing you up. You are more likely to be impolite to other shoppers while talking on the phone, and the person on the other end will not get your full attention.

Apply lipstick, powder your nose, brush your hair, spray perfume, and perform any other beauty touchups in the bathroom only.

Stay home if you have a cold. It's no fun to be out shopping at your favorite boutique and have the woman next to you coughing or blowing her nose. Wait for your bug to pass before heading out—everyone will thank you.

Wearing an item you've bought and then returning it is dishonest, not to mention totally tacky. Once you remove the tags and wear your new clothes for more than just checking yourself out in the mirror, they are yours to keep.

"We are all born charming, fresh and spontaneous, and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society."

—American Etiquette Maven Miss Manners


Etiquette Then ...

"In society it is etiquette for ladies to have the best chairs and get handed things. In home the reverse is the case. That is why ladies are more sociable than gentlemen."

—Virginia Graham, Manners Maven

"Women are simply going to have to take over this world and that's all there is to it. All men want to do is start wars and show off in front of each other ... most of them don't get past age twelve."

—Mother In Standing in the Rainbow

and Now

"I can't stand seeing a mature woman walking around a department store or having lunch with her girlfriends wearing blue jeans."

—Ruth L. Kern, International Etiquette Consultant


The Glamorous Gabors

These classy dames knew how to live, love, and keep secrets.

The famous Gabor sisters—Zsa Zsa, Eva, and Magda—loved to be coy about their ages. At one point in her life, Zsa Zsa produced a birth certificate that said she was born in 1928, which would have had her married to her first husband at age eight. All three sisters were equally secretive; Eva's tombstone only gives her date of death, not birth. Notes the famous gossip columnist Cindy Adams about them: "I used to say that the only way you could tell the true age of a Gabor was by the rings around their gums." Zsa Zsa and Eva looked so alike that even those who knew them well confused them. Once, when Eva was caught swimming nude in her pool by a telephone repair-man, she pretended to be Zsa Zsa.

Between them, the much-marrying three sisters had twenty husbands.


On Matters of the Heart

"It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses."

—British Actress Mrs. Patrick Campbell. At the turn of the century, safe sex was much, much simpler.

"Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself."

—Rita Mae Brown

"A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones."

—Cher

"French kissing is a mortal sin."

—Cheryl Murphy Durzy's Mother


The Lowdownon Lip Locks—How to Be Appropriate in Public

Throughout parts of the East, hand kissing is the custom. This is a practice in which you kiss your own hand, then press it against the forehead of the other person. (Much less germ-laden.)

Kissing in public was considered quite offensive in the early days of the United States. In 1656, a Bostonian was placed in the stocks for kissing his wife on the streets. And there are still laws on the books around the country that prohibit kissing. For instance, don't kiss a stranger in Cedar Rapids, Iowa; you could land in the clinker. And men with mustaches are not allowed to "habitually kiss human beings" in Indiana.


I Do, I Do Quiz

Being in a bridal party isn't only about wearing a goofy dress. Everyone has a job to do, but—according to Emily Post—


WHO DOES WHAT?

1. Makes the first toast at the reception __________________

2. Holds the bride's bouquet at the ceremony __________________

3. Escorts the groom's mother to her seat __________________

4. Pays for the bride's wedding ring __________________

5. Pays for the bride's gown __________________

6. Organizes a bridal shower __________________

7. Pays for the honeymoon __________________

8. Holds the bride's ring during the ceremony __________________

9. Escorts the bride up the aisle __________________

10. Stands first in the receiving line __________________


answers to I Do, I Do

1. Best man.

2. Maid of honor.

3. Head usher.

4. Groom.

5. Bride.

6. Bridesmaids.

7. Groom's family.

8. Best man.

9. Father of the bride.

10. Mother of the bride.


8—10 correct: I do

4—7 correct: I might

1—3 correct: I don't

"Marry a man younger than you and he will always keep you young at heart."

—An Ageless Mom


Gift Symbology

Looking to give a gift with meaning? According to the fascinating book, The Language of Gifts, virtually anything one could buy is loaded with symbolism. Here are some symbols that work especially well for women:

Baskets: Women's domain; fertility; wholeness and togetherness

Brooms: Female magic; domesticity; the contributions of wise women

Shells: The womb; fertility; resurrection

Camellia: A unique woman; loveliness; excellence

Vulture: Exemplary motherhood

Unicorn: Femininity; purity; goodness

The Number 4: Womanhood; root of all things; security; potential


EMILY POST

on Proper Fashion, circa 1922

"What makes a brilliant party? Clothes. Good clothes. A frumpy party is nothing more nor less than a collection of badly dressed persons."

"Rather be frumpy than vulgar! ... Frumps are often celebrities in disguise—but a person of vulgar appearance is vulgar all through."

It's important to be chic, said she. "Chic is a borrowed adjective, but there is no English word to take the place of elegant, which was destroyed utterly by the reporter or practical joker who said 'elegant dresses' ..."

"Fashion ought to be likened to a tide or epidemic; sometimes one might define it as a sort of hypnotism, seemingly exerted by the gods as a joke."


Mind Your Manners: A Quiz

Are you more familiar with fine dining or fast food? This test will tell, as you decide whether these rules of the table are in "perfect taste" or a "recipe for disaster."

1. The dessert fork should be placed above the dinner plate.

Perfect taste Recipe for disaster

2. It is acceptable to eat asparagus using your fingers.

Perfect taste Recipe for disaster

3. Cut your entire steak into small pieces before your first bite.

Perfect taste Recipe for disaster

4. Wait staff should always serve diners from the right.

Perfect taste Recipe for disaster

5. If you burp at the table, don't draw attention to yourself by saying "excuse me."

Perfect taste Recipe for disaster

6. At a formal dinner party, a woman should not be seated next to her husband or companion.

Perfect taste Recipe for disaster

7. Salad may be properly served after the main course.

Perfect taste Recipe for disaster

8. It is acceptable to blow on your soup to cool it.

Perfect taste Recipe for disaster

9. If you bite into a piece of bone or gristle, just chew and swallow like nothing is wrong.

Perfect taste Recipe for disaster

10. Your red wine glass has a relatively short stem and a rounded bowl.

Perfect taste Recipe for disaster


answers to Mind Your Manners

1. Perfect taste. The dessert fork and spoon will be placed horizontally above the dinner plate.

2. Perfect taste. If the asparagus is served al dente—slightly firm to the bite.

3. Recipe for disaster. Eat steak and other meats by cutting one small piece at a time.

4. Recipe for disaster. Wait staff should always serve diners from the left and clear from the right.

5. Recipe for disaster. Cover your mouth delicately when you burp at the table, and always excuse yourself—quietly.

6. Perfect taste. A couple generally is not seated side-by-side at formal dinner parties.

7. Perfect taste. There's nothing wrong with serving salad after the main course.

8. Recipe for disaster. If it's too hot to eat, wait patiently until it cools. Never blow on it!

9. Recipe for disaster. Besides being gross, swallowing bone or gristle is a good way to make yourself sick. Emily Post says you should remove it from your mouth as inconspicuously as possible using your fork. Then place it at the side of your plate.

10. Perfect taste. Red wine glasses are bowled so that the warmth of your hand reaches the wine when you hold the glass.


8—10 correct: Perfect guest

4—7 correct: Well-mannered

1—3 correct: Elbows off the table!

Rules to Live by for the "Perfect Lady"

"Nothing is less important than which fork you use."

—Emily Post, the perfect lady

"If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun."

—Katharine Hepburn

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."

—Catherine Aird, author of witty British police novels


"Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!" — Erma Bombeck's Mother


When in China ...

Manners vary across the globe. For example, in China, although folks tend to eat three meals a day, the distinction between breakfast, lunch, and dinner foods is not the same as in other parts of the world; rather, the types of food served at the three meals is pretty much the same.

Napkins are not traditionally used. Instead, diners are given a hot towel at the end of the meal to clean their hands and faces.

People begin eating according to age, with the oldest person starting first, then the next oldest, ending with the youngest.

It is considered incredibly rude to leave anything on your plate, even one grain.

No liquids except soup tend to be served during meals. Tea is drunk separately throughout the day.


Helpful Hints from Mommie Dearest, JOAN CRAWFORD

"It's an insult to a guest to offer meat on a plate that's come right out of the cupboard. It should be heated first."

"Sit on hard chairs—soft ones spread the hips."

To avoid a nasty surprise, "always pack in daylight."

"Regular exercise, all alone, can be boring ... Get all those pleasingly plump pals together regularly at a certain hour on certain days of the week—and compete."

And as for posture, she told women to "get their shoulders back where God meant them to be."


HEADS UP: Hair Tips

"To get soft hair, collect rain water in a barrel and use it for rinsing."

—Alicia Alvrez's Mother

"If you see someone with a stunning haircut, grab her by the wrist and demand fiercely to know the name, address, and home phone number of her hairdresser. If she refuses to tell you, burst into tears."

—Cynthia Heimel
(Continues...)


Excerpted from High-Heeled Manners by Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Copyright © 2005 Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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