His Porn, Her Pain: Confronting America's PornPanic with Honest Talk About Sex

by Marty Klein Ph.D.

Overview

Written by an award-winning author and veteran sex therapist, this practical, innovative, and often passionate book addresses the explosion of pornography use, advises couples on defusing conflict about it, guides parents in helping their kids deal with it, advises people concerned about their use of it, and shows how honest talk about sex can resolve America's "porn panic."

When you first logged onto the Internet in the 1990s, did you ever wonder, "What do you suppose would happen if the United States were flooded with free, high-quality pornography?" We now know the answer, says Dr. Marty Klein, as this is exactly what took place 15 years ago.

Written by an award-winning author and veteran sex therapist, this practical, innovative, and often passionate book addresses the explosion of pornography use, advises couples on defusing conflict about it, guides parents in helping their kids deal with it, advises people concerned about their use of it, and shows how honest talk about sex can resolve America's "porn panic."

So what did happen when Internet porn flooded America? The rates of sexual assault, divorce, and child molestation declined. And yet various religious groups, politicians, some feminists, anti-trafficking activists, and many marriage counselors talk unceasingly about the damage porn viewing is doing to our society. They have created a "PornPanic" that has demonized the recreation of some 60 million Americans.

Americans are always ready for new reasons to feel guilty and ashamed of their sexuality, and Internet porn is the newest reason. Wives and girlfriends worry that they can't compete with it; teens use it as a misguided substitute for sex education, often disturbed by intense adults-only imagery; and psychologically vulnerable people get caught up in hours of compulsive porn surfing every night, feeling isolated and inadequate as a result.

Fortunately for his many readers, however, using clear reasoning, clinical expertise, and political savvy, Klein shows that for most people, porn is not the real problem. With the experience gained from 34 years of doing therapy—that's 35,000 sessions—Klein asks a simple but profound question: when we talk about porn, what are we really talking about?

This book eases readers' minds as Klein addresses common concerns and debunks common myths while identifying what we should be concerned about. Most importantly, the author explains how we can heal America's obsession with porn by engaging in honest talk about sex—something he knows is neither simple nor easy. The text includes sample conversations to help adults talk to each other about pornography, and suggestions for parents on how to talk to their kids about porn—healthy discussions to help their kids develop "Porn Literacy." This book offers honest, thorough, expert information desperately needed by a nation of people driven to panic about pornography.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781440852213
Publisher:	Bloomsbury Academic
Publication date:	09/06/2016
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	939,682
Product dimensions:	6.14(w) x 9.21(h) x 0.47(d)

About the Author

Marty Klein, PhD, has been a Certified Sex Therapist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for 34 years. He has written seven books about sexuality, including the recent Sexual Intelligence and the award-winning America's War On Sex.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

FAQs 1

Introduction. "What would happen if America were flooded with free, high-quality pornography?" 5

Part I Context

Chapter 1 Porn Explodes into America's Homes-Where People Are Very, Very Unprepared 11

Chapter 2 Moral Panics, Sex Panics, and PornPanic 17

Chapter 3 Updating the Panic-The Public Health/Danger Model 25

Part II Brief Interludes

Interlude A The Nature of Sexual Fantasy 37

Interlude B Deep in the Valley: Going to a Porn Shoot 43

Interlude C The Myth of Porn's Perfect Bodies 47

Interlude D Rule 34: What It Says About Your Sexuality 51

Interlude E No, Mabel, You Don't Have to Compete with Porn Actresses 53

Interlude F Guys: More Curiosity and More Empathy Needed 57

Interlude G Is There Such a Thing as Gay (or Straight) Porn? 61

Interlude H How to Watch a Lot of Porn and Have Good Partner Sex, Too 63

Interlude I Does Porn Demean Women? 65

Interlude J 45 Helpful Things You Can Learn from Porn 69

Part III About You and Yours

Chapter 4 Your Kids and Porn 75

Chapter 5 Sexting: Who Does It? How Docs It Affect Kids? 87

Chapter 6 Couples' Conflicts About Porn-Innovative Approaches 99

Case A Rachel & Jackson: Porn as Infidelity (or, You Thought It = You Did It) 115

Case B John & Bora: The Man Who Tried to Communicate Through Porn 123

Case C Jevon: The Man Who Tried to Organize the Internet 127

Chapter 7 How Does Porn Affect Consumers? 133

Chapter 8 If You're Concerned About Your Involvement with Porn 147

Chapter 9 Why There's No Such Thing as Porn Addiction-and Why It Matters 159

Chapter 10 Increasing Torn Literacy and Sexual Intelligence for Therapists, Doctors, and Clergy 175

Epilogue. A Complicated Consumer Product 185

Notes 189

Index 201