Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love [NOOK Book]

Overview

Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In HOLD ME TIGHT, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to ...
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Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

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Overview

Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In HOLD ME TIGHT, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.
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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal

Clinical psychologist Johnson here lays out her patented couples-therapy program, explaining the science behind the feelings that are frightening and overwhelming to couples seeking love, support, and companionship. This title is natural as an audiobook: the sterling narration by Sandra Burr-whose reading of Mary Roach's Bonk, also from Brilliance, received a starred review (LJ8/08)-takes the text a step further. All libraries having self-help or therapy collections must add this recording. [Audio clip available through library.brillianceaudio. com.-Ed.]
—Susan G. Baird

Boston Globe
"There's something appealing about this book's honest, no-holds-barred approach. By creating complete emotional safety and by willing to be fearless about it, it seems to me, not only can real love be kept alive, it can flourish"
John Gottman, Ph.D. - bestselling author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and coauthor of And Baby Makes T
"At last, a road map through Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with its creator. Dr. Johnson's superb science, humor, and clinical wisdom are finally accessible to all of us. I couldn't pick a smarter, warmer, and more real guide for this journey."
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. - author of Getting the Love You Want and Receiving Love
"A much needed message to all couples and therapists and I recommend it to all."
William J. Doherty, Ph.D. - author of Take Back Your Marriage
Sue Johnson [is] the most original contributor to couples therapy to come along in the last 30 years. This book will touch your heart, stimulate your mind, and give you practical strategies for improving your marriage. It will be an instant classic.
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. - author of Parenting from the Inside Out
Wonderful!...Hold Me Tight blends the best in research findings with practical suggestions from a caring and compassionate clinician. This fabulous book will be of great benefit...to couples trying to find their way to better communication and deeper, more fulfilling ways of being with each other. Bravo!
Barry McCarthy, Ph.D. - author of Getting It Right the First Time
A truly revolutionary, breakthrough book... the most important, valuable book for couples published in the 21st century.
From the Publisher
"A much needed message to all couples and therapists and I recommend it to all."—Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want and Receiving Love

"At last, a road map through Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with its creator. Dr. Johnson's superb science, humor, and clinical wisdom are finally accessible to all of us. I couldn't pick a smarter, warmer, and more real guide for this journey."—John Gottman, Ph.D., bestselling author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and coauthor of And Baby Makes Three

"There's something appealing about this book's honest, no-holds-barred approach. By creating complete emotional safety and by willing to be fearless about it, it seems to me, not only can real love be kept alive, it can flourish"—Boston Globe

Sue Johnson [is] the most original contributor to couples therapy to come along in the last 30 years. This book will touch your heart, stimulate your mind, and give you practical strategies for improving your marriage. It will be an instant classic.—William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage

Wonderful!...Hold Me Tight blends the best in research findings with practical suggestions from a caring and compassionate clinician. This fabulous book will be of great benefit...to couples trying to find their way to better communication and deeper, more fulfilling ways of being with each other. Bravo!—Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., author of Parenting from the Inside Out

A truly revolutionary, breakthrough book... the most important, valuable book for couples published in the 21st century.—Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., author of Getting It Right the First Time

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780316031998
  • Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
  • Publication date: 4/8/2008
  • Sold by: Hachette Digital, Inc.
  • Format: eBook
  • Sales rank: 18,372
  • File size: 304 KB

Meet the Author

Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant International University in San Diego, CA. The developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, she is a recognized leader in the new science of relationships. Dr. Johnson is the author of numerous books and articles, and she has trained thousands of therapists in North America and around the world. She lives in Ottawa, Canada. For more information on Dr. Sue Johnson and Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, visit iceeft.com and holdmetight.com.
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Table of Contents

Introduction     3
A New Light on Love     11
Love-A Revolutionary New View     13
Where Did Our Love Go? Losing Connection     28
Emotional Responsiveness-The Key to a Lifetime of Love     40
Seven Transforming Conversations     63
Recognizing the Demon Dialogues     65
Finding the Raw Spots     98
Revisiting a Rocky Moment     121
Hold Me Tight-Engaging and Connecting     141
Forgiving Injuries     165
Bonding Through Sex and Touch     185
Keeping Your Love Alive     204
The Power of Hold Me Tight     231
Healing Traumatic Wounds-The Power of Love     233
Ultimate Connection-Love as the Final Frontier     252
Acknowledgments     267
Glossary     271
References     281
Index     291

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 48 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(21)

4 Star

(15)

3 Star

(4)

2 Star

(4)

1 Star

(4)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 48 Customer Reviews
  • Posted February 6, 2012

    Saved My Marriage!

    This book teaches you what things to look for when your spouce is mad at you. They are not really mad at you they are affraid of loosing you. I know it's hard to hug a cactus, but sometimes that's what you have to do to show them you aren't going anywhere. Don't retract and give the space but stand up and talk to them and hold them tight.

    9 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 13, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Recommended by Marriage Counselor

    I read the book and passed it on to my husband who was reluctant at first but did push through it. We plan to go back to it and work through the recommended exercises, but I don't know when. We're in our 60's and married more than 40 years. We're recovering from a recent infidelity. You would think after all these years we would be connected; however we've learned new techniques on how to avoid conflict and renew passion.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 6, 2009

    Excellent Resource

    The author is considered by many in the counseling field to be the among the best couples therapists. This book gives the lay person (and professional alike) a solid foundation on her approach, where things go wrong and how to resolve conflicts. Well worth it!

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 17, 2012

    A Mind Opener - I understand myself & my partner better

    The concepts in this book are very simple yet can completely change how you understand your and your partners' reactions to situations and to your relationship in general. I haven't finished the book yet but I can't hardly put it down... I am very excited to digest these concepts - I can already see them making a huge difference in how I respond to my partner and how happy we are.

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 11, 2010

    saved me

    this book was referred to my husband and i. i was skeptical that a book would help me. but it did and has. this book opened both my husband and i's eyes to how we communicated. we have been telling everyone about this book. our marriage was great before we read this book but now....it's secure,safe, loveling, and full of joy. PLEASE READ THIS BOOK!!!!!!

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 6, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Emotional guide to a more responsible and meaningful relationship

    Ms. Johnsons' interpetation of the intricacies of human relationships is simply designed, carefully thought out and written in a language that not only changes prior perceptions but invents a new and healthy twist to perceptions in relationships.

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 18, 2008

    A reviewer

    EFT is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. Dr. Sue Johnson developed this therapeutic approach. The concept is very logical. We all have emotions. We all feel. That is okay. We must learn about our feelings and use them well. EFT helps people fight less and to be happier with their relationships. It was interesting that Johnson mentioned that being in a more transient society has made our reliance on our spouse even more important. I had never thought about that. I am without family nearby, so I do have only one person to count on¿my husband. We all ¿need a little shelter¿. I realize that it is an old Cinderella song, but it does ring true. Johnson explains that science has shown that we not only are social creatures, we are also creatures of couplehood. Sex is mentioned, also. Couples need sex. Sex styles are explained. Aligning of sex styles is mentioned, too. Most interesting, was the chapter on trauma. Johnson mentions the psychological trauma of soldiers returning home after a war. She explains the needs of the soldier and his/her spouse. Add some strength to your relationship read and study Hold Me Tight. Military spouses will definitely benefit from this, especially those with spouses suffering from PTSD.

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 6, 2009

    The Best Book for Couples in Years

    Sue Johnson makes accessible and practical the science of attachment and offers an explanation for adult love. Hold Me Tight is written in a clear and compelling style. It is an excellent book for couples and smart therapists will be recommending it to their clients.

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 18, 2012

    Great ideas

    Great ideas with specific questions and instructions.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 24, 2011

    Highly Recommended

    In clear language, Dr. Sue Johnson describes Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy and gives hope to couples who want to improve their relationship. Hold Me Tight is a must read for psychotherapists who provide couple counseling. I certainly benefited from reading it. (Payam Ghassemlou MFT, Ph.D.)

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 15, 2013

    Good but I think I need more help

    I think this book is very helpful for those who have spouses open enough to try it. I just wish they also gave ways to approach your spouse with these conversations. Just like some parents have to hide their vegetables to get their kids to eat it. I have to sneak in relationship talk to my husband or he just doesn't listen much less talk.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 12, 2014

    Hold Me Tight is different than other self help books in that it

    Hold Me Tight is different than other self help books in that it is not just "good advice" or a gimmicky approach to understanding men and women. Rather, it is a book designed to help you understand yourself and your partner on a much deeper level. Using vignettes from other real couples, she describes the negative patterns of interaction we all can get stuck in. 
    I highly recommend for all couples.  

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 21, 2014

    I bought this last weekend at my local B&N, after my wife fi

    I bought this last weekend at my local B&N, after my wife fired our marriage counselor who did not seem to have any real focus or plan. The counselor recommended a different therapist who uses EFT, and I wanted to see what it was all about. I bought this book because Dr. Sue Johnson is one of the pioneers of EFT, and this book lays out the reasons for her approach, as well as the steps that an EFT counselor would take to restore marital harmony. I have to say that I thought the book was very interesting and helpful, as EFT is based upon the belief that everyone needs deep emotional attachments, and that the way to fix a rocky marriage is to get the couples' emotions back in synch with each other, rather than obsessively revisiting the past or laying out groundrules for coexisting in the present. I also like the fact that it is unashamedly pro-marriage but not in preachy way.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2014

    Highly Recommended

    Hold Me Tight was assigned reading for one of my graduate courses. It is incredibly straight forward and applicable for the reader. Whether or not they are a clinician, this book offers guidance on how to understand a couple's way of relating. This book is definitely worth the read.

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 9, 2013

    the book is easy reading and enlightening.

    the book is easy reading and enlightening.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 14, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 23, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted July 18, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 30, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted November 26, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

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