Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

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More About This Book

Overview

Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In HOLD ME TIGHT, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal

Clinical psychologist Johnson here lays out her patented couples-therapy program, explaining the science behind the feelings that are frightening and overwhelming to couples seeking love, support, and companionship. This title is natural as an audiobook: the sterling narration by Sandra Burr-whose reading of Mary Roach's Bonk, also from Brilliance, received a starred review (LJ8/08)-takes the text a step further. All libraries having self-help or therapy collections must add this recording. [Audio clip available through library.brillianceaudio. com.-Ed.]
—Susan G. Baird

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780316113007
  • Publisher: Little, Brown & Company
  • Publication date: 4/8/2008
  • Pages: 320
  • Sales rank: 21,443
  • Product dimensions: 6.25 (w) x 9.50 (h) x 1.00 (d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant International University in San Diego, CA. The developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, she is a recognized leader in the new science of relationships. Dr. Johnson is the author of numerous books and articles, and she has trained thousands of therapists in North America and around the world. She lives in Ottawa, Canada. For more information on Dr. Sue Johnson and Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, visit www.eft.ca and www.holdmetight.com.

Table of Contents

Introduction     3
A New Light on Love     11
Love-A Revolutionary New View     13
Where Did Our Love Go? Losing Connection     28
Emotional Responsiveness-The Key to a Lifetime of Love     40
Seven Transforming Conversations     63
Recognizing the Demon Dialogues     65
Finding the Raw Spots     98
Revisiting a Rocky Moment     121
Hold Me Tight-Engaging and Connecting     141
Forgiving Injuries     165
Bonding Through Sex and Touch     185
Keeping Your Love Alive     204
The Power of Hold Me Tight     231
Healing Traumatic Wounds-The Power of Love     233
Ultimate Connection-Love as the Final Frontier     252
Acknowledgments     267
Glossary     271
References     281
Index     291

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 35 )

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 35 Customer Reviews

  • Posted April 6, 2009

    Excellent Resource

    The author is considered by many in the counseling field to be the among the best couples therapists. This book gives the lay person (and professional alike) a solid foundation on her approach, where things go wrong and how to resolve conflicts. Well worth it!

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted February 6, 2012

    Saved My Marriage!

    This book teaches you what things to look for when your spouce is mad at you. They are not really mad at you they are affraid of loosing you. I know it's hard to hug a cactus, but sometimes that's what you have to do to show them you aren't going anywhere. Don't retract and give the space but stand up and talk to them and hold them tight.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted July 6, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Emotional guide to a more responsible and meaningful relationship

    Ms. Johnsons' interpetation of the intricacies of human relationships is simply designed, carefully thought out and written in a language that not only changes prior perceptions but invents a new and healthy twist to perceptions in relationships.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 13, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    9781415937051 9780684835396

    Recommended by Marriage Counselor

    I read the book and passed it on to my husband who was reluctant at first but did push through it. We plan to go back to it and work through the recommended exercises, but I don't know when. We're in our 60's and married more than 40 years. We're recovering from a recent infidelity. You would think after all these years we would be connected; however we've learned new techniques on how to avoid conflict and renew passion.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 18, 2008

    A reviewer

    EFT is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. Dr. Sue Johnson developed this therapeutic approach. The concept is very logical. We all have emotions. We all feel. That is okay. We must learn about our feelings and use them well. EFT helps people fight less and to be happier with their relationships. It was interesting that Johnson mentioned that being in a more transient society has made our reliance on our spouse even more important. I had never thought about that. I am without family nearby, so I do have only one person to count on¿my husband. We all ¿need a little shelter¿. I realize that it is an old Cinderella song, but it does ring true. Johnson explains that science has shown that we not only are social creatures, we are also creatures of couplehood. Sex is mentioned, also. Couples need sex. Sex styles are explained. Aligning of sex styles is mentioned, too. Most interesting, was the chapter on trauma. Johnson mentions the psychological trauma of soldiers returning home after a war. She explains the needs of the soldier and his/her spouse. Add some strength to your relationship read and study Hold Me Tight. Military spouses will definitely benefit from this, especially those with spouses suffering from PTSD.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 24, 2011

    Highly Recommended

    In clear language, Dr. Sue Johnson describes Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy and gives hope to couples who want to improve their relationship. Hold Me Tight is a must read for psychotherapists who provide couple counseling. I certainly benefited from reading it. (Payam Ghassemlou MFT, Ph.D.)

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 11, 2010

    saved me

    this book was referred to my husband and i. i was skeptical that a book would help me. but it did and has. this book opened both my husband and i's eyes to how we communicated. we have been telling everyone about this book. our marriage was great before we read this book but now....it's secure,safe, loveling, and full of joy. PLEASE READ THIS BOOK!!!!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 6, 2009

    The Best Book for Couples in Years

    Sue Johnson makes accessible and practical the science of attachment and offers an explanation for adult love. Hold Me Tight is written in a clear and compelling style. It is an excellent book for couples and smart therapists will be recommending it to their clients.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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    Posted April 26, 2012

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