A Home by the Sea

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It always took time to shrug off the work. You didn't forget, but at least you managed to move on. If bad dreams and explosions haunted your sleep, then you shrugged those off, too.

Slowly Noah flipped up the collar of his leather coat. He focused on the cold, slipping into the moment and letting the hard edge of duty and responsibility fade, repeating the rule he had learned years before.

You have to move on. If you can't leave the work behind, it will drive you over the edge and one day you'll snap.

Noah had seen it happen too often. In a job where you fought mayhem and horror on a daily basis, balance was everything. He tried to remember that rule now.

After the savage day he'd just finished, he was entitled to bury his work deep and forget about responsibility. He'd been fielding emergency calls every night for a month now, and emergency calls came to his department for just one reason…because everyone else had failed.

His department was the place you called when you could smell the bitter edge of your own fear. You called Noah's unit when you had an improvised explosive device or a nasty set of wires shoved into what could be a brick of Semtex. Noah was the man who always knew which wires to pull and when to back away.

Far, far away.

But tonight had been too close. He had nearly become a splatter on a concrete wall, thanks to a close encounter with a new device no one in D.C. had ever seen before. For thirty mind-blurring seconds he had looked death right between the eyes. Then he'd remembered seeing something similar in Afghanistan seven months earlier. Once Noah had seen the interior wiring, he'd made the connection. But it had been a close call.

He closed his eyes, feeling the wind pick up, rattling the windows behind him. The building where he worked was surrounded by high fences and concrete walls. For security reasons, there was no sign or business name posted. The black trucks parked outside didn't have government plates. As far as outsiders could tell, they belonged to a civilian waste-disposal company.

But the disposal Noah did was far more dangerous.

A weight dug into his shoulders as he looked up at the top window of his lab. Inside that secure room, computers were updated nightly with data about every new model of explosive device made anywhere in the world. Each morning his team pored over that data and integrated the knowledge into their disposal procedures. No detail was ignored. His team trained hard, and Noah was proud that they were the best—and that they still had their lives to prove it.

His brother hadn't been so lucky.

Frowning, Noah ran a hand through his dark hair.

You can't go back. Matt is gone. The remote car bomb that took him is a footnote in your government training manuals now, and you all learned from it. But Matt didn't have the resources you have.

So he's gone. Pack it up and move on.

It was the same conversation Noah always had about this time of night after a long, demanding shift. But how did you forget a beloved brother whose generosity and laughter had touched everyone around him? The cold sense of loss had become Noah's old friend, as familiar as his guilt. He hadn't been able to reach his brother in time to help. There had been next to nothing left of the body after the explosion.

And Noah knew he should have been the one who died in that explosion.

He blew out an angry breath. A big storm was headed in that night. According to the weather reports, there could be a foot of snow. Maybe more. Good thing he didn't have far to drive.

As he walked down the quiet street, Noah saw the brightly lit windows of the big townhouse on the opposite corner. He heard muted music and saw people moving inside, all diamonds and furs, dressed for a big night out. It felt odd and disconnected, like watching a movie.

Then Noah saw her.

She appeared within the frame of the window, calm and beautiful amid a throng of beautiful women. Her dark hair swung around her face and even at this distance Noah swore he could see the shimmer of her eyes. She stood right by the glass, and when she looked out light fell on the black dress she wore, brushing her high cheekbones and full mouth.

She wasn't beautiful, Noah thought. Her nose was a little short and her chin a little too long. No, not beautiful. Yet he couldn't look away.

Something about her touched him, made him feel as if his world was perfect and intact. Safe and stable, as if there was still decency and honor to be found if you looked for it.

He bit back a harsh laugh. His chosen work had stripped him of any such illusions. Any breath could be your last. Any friendly face could hold murderous deceit. He knew that cold truth from personal experience.

He felt something brush his neck. Snowflakes spi-raled down in the dark. He should be going.

But he couldn't pull his gaze from that big window.

She smiled at a man in a dark suit that looked hand tailored. She toyed with her necklace and then shook her head when a waiter offered more champagne. Orchids gleamed on a pedestal beside her. The chandelier winked over her head.

She outshone everything, in nothing but a plain black dress and a necklace with one simple pearl.

A little curve of hair brushed her neck. Noah wondered how it would feel sliding against his fingers. How her skin would warm at his slow touch.

Would she—

He jammed his hands into his pockets, suddenly aware of the night and the snow. Was he off his head? He wasn't a man to be easily distracted. He didn't fantasize about strange women he saw through a distant window. Noah enjoyed his share of hot, uncomplicated sex, and he didn't lack for willing partners in his bed. But he made sure that any woman in his arms knew that he was offering only a few hours of pleasure and laughter.

No strings. No future. No tears. He enjoyed a woman's company—but he could walk away without a backward glance.

But this woman wouldn't be easy to forget.

The knowledge made him go still. Something told Noah that this woman would trust and hope, offering her dreams and hopes in return. That trust would make her dangerous and impossible to forget. As it was, she distracted him, and she was barely visible through the window. What kind of distraction would she present if he actually met her and spoke with her?

If he touched her?

Snow brushed his neck, and Noah sighed. The storm was already pounding toward D.C. Why was he standing here, gawking like an idiot, wondering about a woman he was never going to meet?

Shift was over. He should be having a few drinks with his team by now. Maybe he'd find an easygoing woman who laughed just a little too much and wouldn't mind that Noah almost never smiled. The potential for hot, reckless sex had seemed like an excellent idea two hours ago, when he had been staring down four red wires in a cheap metal box, on his way to becoming a dead man.

"Everything okay, McLeod? No problems with your shoulder after the blast today?"

Noah swung around at the unexpected interruption. Ed Merrill, his superior, was pushing forty and carried about twenty-five extra pounds. He had just given up smoking and his temper could be volatile. Now he was frowning as he pulled a set of car keys from the pocket of his parka.

"I'm fine, sir."

The older man studied Noah intently, missing nothing. "You did all the right things. You took safe assessment and identified the device. Then you pulled back and waited for the backup team. Everything by the book."

"Yes, I got it right, sir." Noah's voice hardened. "Except the timer went wacko and spontaneously detonated, throwing me twenty feet against that concrete wall. I should have been faster—and smarter. I should have taken more precautions. I expect it in my men, so I damned well better expect it in myself." Noah cleared his throat. "Sir."

"Noted. But this is a new category of device here. You responded as well as anyone could, and you made the connection before it was too late. Rest assured, we'll do a thorough review on Monday, once forensics has gutted those components. Meanwhile, don't grind yourself up about it. Go get a beer and relax."

"Just what I was planning to do," Noah said quietly.

His superior turned up his collar against the icy wind. "Good. There won't be anything new until the tech people weigh in anyway. So go somewhere dark and smoky. Female companionship highly encouraged. It's a good night to remember you're still alive." Merrill's eyes narrowed. "Are you involved with someone?"

"No, sir."

"Good. There'll be plenty of time for commitment once your hot time is done."

Hot time meant working with live explosive devices. Hot time took all you had, all you were. Everyone on Noah's team knew the truth. You sweated and you prepared and then you did it all again the next day. Not much was left behind when you closed the door and headed home.

Without thinking, Noah turned slightly. His gaze slid back to the party in the big house across the street. The woman's hair glinted amber as she turned under the chandelier. He could almost smell her perfume as she moved, trailing a hint of something sweet but subtle. He felt a kick of hunger. Lust mixed with sharpening curiosity.

He had to meet her, just once.

"Noah, did you hear me?"

"Sorry, sir. I was just thinking about finding someplace dark and smoky."

"You keep looking at that party going on across the street. You know the owner?"

"No, sir."

Merrill tossed his keys up and down. "I do. That house is owned by a very wealthy media executive. Six magazines, four radio networks and three cable channels, last time anyone counted. And the woman in the window—someone you know?"

"No, sir."

"Someone you want to know? I could wrangle an introduction." Merrill smiled slowly. "My wife did some legal work for the owner several months back. I could walk over and pull a few strings, if you're interested in meeting her."

"Who?" Noah tried to look bored.

"The woman you've been staring at. There's snow all over your coat, in case you haven't noticed. The storm is due to hit in the next two hours, and they're saying we can expect a couple of feet. So you're going to do one of two things. You're going to get that beer or you're going to let me get you an introduction. Make up your mind. I want to be home in time to tuck my kids into bed," Merrill said gruffly.

Noah rubbed his neck. He was seriously tempted. He wanted to see her face up close and hear her laugh. Suddenly he wanted a dozen things…

Forget it, pal. There's no place for a woman like that in your life. No room for complications or commitments. Hot time doesn't leave you anything left to share. You knew that when you signed on.

"No need, sir. Donovan's meeting me at Wily's Place. He owes me two hundred now, after our last two games of darts. I figure I'll double that tonight." Noah managed to keep his gaze steady, away from the brightly lit house across the street. He was surprised at how hard it was.

"Fine. Go and clean up. You're entitled. But if that shoulder starts acting up, I want you into medical for evaluation immediately. Is that understood?"

"Absolutely, sir."