How Not to Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame [NOOK Book]

Overview

How to be cool when you're afraid you've forgotten how . . .

Sure, you can try to stay younger by exercising, coloring your hair, and wearing stylish clothes—but how do you respond when someone asks, "Do you Twitter?" How Not to Act Old gives you simple ways to come back from over the hill and to act as young as you look.

Covering everything from old-people entertainment (cancel that dinner party!) to old-people communication (it's called a ...

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How Not to Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame

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Overview

How to be cool when you're afraid you've forgotten how . . .

Sure, you can try to stay younger by exercising, coloring your hair, and wearing stylish clothes—but how do you respond when someone asks, "Do you Twitter?" How Not to Act Old gives you simple ways to come back from over the hill and to act as young as you look.

Covering everything from old-people entertainment (cancel that dinner party!) to old-people communication (it's called a "voice mail," not a "message," and no one leaves or listens to them anyway), Pamela Redmond Satran decodes the behaviors, viewpoints, and cultural touchstones that separate you from the hip young person you wish you still were. This irreverent guide is essential for anyone who doesn't want to embarrass their kids—or themselves.

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Editorial Reviews

Dorothea Benton Frank
“Shimmers with a multitude of wise and hilarious insights on the pitfalls of acting your age. Don’t just read it, memorize it. And buy it for everyone you love. It’s original and brilliant! ”
Sheila Weller
“A welcome jolt of fresh wit: wryly, smartly, and crisply devoted to the subject that dare not speak its name among those of us who fully expected, against all odds, to never become unhip. With How Not To Act Old, we’ll get our wish.”
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061898846
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 8/4/2009
  • Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 192
  • Sales rank: 516,933
  • File size: 676 KB

Meet the Author

Pamela Redmond Satran is the author of five novels and the coauthor of many bestselling baby name books, as well as the creator of nameberry.com. A columnist for Glamour, she writes frequently for the New York Times, The Daily Beast, and The Huffington Post. She lives not all that far from Brooklyn and plans to act thirty-three forever.

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Read an Excerpt

How Not to Act Old
185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame

Chapter One

Stop Using E-mail

Leave it to the evil young to get all of us old people addicted to e-mail, and then to abandon the form in favor of texting and Facebook. Like bikini waxing (more on that later), e-mail is proving to be one of the Great Age Divides. Old people can't figure out why anyone would text, IM, or Facebook (wait: is that a verb?) instead of e-mail; how can you be articulate while typing with your thumbs? Why would you want everything you say to be public?And young people hate e-mailing because it's ... old.Well, I don't care if e-mail is old; I can't stop using it. That's right, I'm addicted to e-mail, just as I am to dark chocolate after lunch and nitrous oxide at the dentist. I joined LinkedIn and Facebook and all those other services, and now I don't know what to do with them...or on them...or however you say it. So if you want to get in touch with me, send me an e-mail.Just make sure it doesn't look like this one:

How Not to E-mail Old: 10 Musts to Avoid

July 12, 2009
Dear Pam,

Thank you for inviting me to your party.

Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend as I'll be having my false teeth fitted that day. My teeth had been bothering me for quite some time.

You know how it is when your gums start receding and then you crack a tooth or two chomping down on hard candy. Next thing you know you need a root canal, and then a crown, and then it's just a house of cards in there.

That's what happened to me, and so I found this dentist, Dr. Marino, out in Clifton, who saidhe'd pull them all out for just $4,000, which sounded like a bargain to me, so I told him...

So write back and tell me what's going on with you.

Your friend,
Don
www.donjenson.com

How Not to Act Old
185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame
. Copyright © by Pamela Satran. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
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Customer Reviews

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( 20 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 20 Customer Reviews
  • Posted September 5, 2009

    The Funniest Book Ever!

    It's so great to find a book that's both funny and smart about the things that matter to ME: not being able to figure out the program on my computer (but being afraid to say anything about it), getting laughed at by my kids (but not being sure why), feeling like I look pretty young except give away my age by everything I say and do. I love it that this book lets me in on all the secrets of the new generation gap but also makes me laugh about them. This is my new go-to present for every post-40 birthday party!

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 30, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Big Disappointment! from a proud to be old and still alive grandmother!

    I expected a funny, fun look at all of us over 50 and more and in some parts it was indeed that. The first page to name one and a few others sprinkled through the book. BUT I kept thinking: What is so wrong with being old? Yes, point out areas where we sometimes are "too old", but there was no pride in the aging process--not respect for people who are "not with it" (and I do realize by saying that, I am acting old)--and that's okay with me. Why would mature, thinking adults; people who are responsible, wise and often witty and fun,--why are we ashamed to be what we are--older! How will people years from now share the special "passe things" like those treasured love "letters" that have been carefully beribboned and saved through the many years of long marriages, moves and children--when the current love letters are emails or tweets,texts or walls on facebook? And what is wrong with teaching a child to write (on paper) and mail (through the postal service) a thank you for a gift from a grandparent or special friend? We all would be poorer if we did not have the letters of Abilgail Adams to John, or writings from all those other OLD people from those long ago generations. I could continue but this review would become a rant and that would make me act old! And yes, I am old---and proud to be living a full life and yes I do have email!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted September 6, 2009

    Best Book Club Book Ever

    My book club picked this for our first fall meeting after reading the excerpt in More Magazine. I can tell you it was our best book club ever. Not only are the entries really hilarious but it led to a great discussion about all the ways we're all guilty of acting old, all the ways we're not, how we feel about our ages as women, with our families at work.

    The really surprising thing to me was that after I told my husband about the discussion, he picked up the book and thought it was just as funny as I did and we had a great discussion too! Recommend this book for men and women, old or young. It's a grownup kind of funny that's so hard to find.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 17, 2010

    I thought I was so hip!

    I run, I wear a size 2, and I listen to what's current on the radio...turns out I am OLD! Did I mention I use correct grammar when I text (oops! when i txt). Great book for book club, birthday present, etc.
    My 15 and 11 y/o girls said it wasn't 100% accuarate re the current verbage, but I'm assumming if you asked college age, it may be.
    Very fun!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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    Posted January 31, 2013

    Booooooooo

    Bad :0,*&

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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    Posted March 14, 2011

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