How to Argue & Win Every Time: At Home, At Work, In Court, Everywhere, Everyday


The Laws of Arguing According to Gerry Spence

1. Everyone is capable of making the winning argument.

2. Winning is getting what we want, which also means helping "others" get what they want.

3. Learn ...

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The Laws of Arguing According to Gerry Spence

1. Everyone is capable of making the winning argument.

2. Winning is getting what we want, which also means helping "others" get what they want.

3. Learn that words are a weapon, and can be used hostilely in combat.

4. Know that there is always a "biological advantage" of delivering the TRUTH.

5. Assault is not argument.

6. Use fear as an ally in pubic speaking or in argument. Learn to convert its energy.

7. Let emotions show and don't discourage passion.

8. Don't be blinded by brilliance.

9. Learn to speak with the body. The body sometimes speaks more powerfully than words.

10. Know that the enemy is not the person with whom we are engaged in a failing argument, but the vision within ourselves.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"How to Argue and Win Every Time is more than just a book about argument; it's the outline on how to live."—Larry king

Gerry Spence is one of America's last true originals—a man who thinks as brilliantly as he lives, who writes as compellingly as he talks, and who practices law as faithfully as most people practice religion."—Dan Rather

From Barnes & Noble
You don't need the vocabulary of a Harvard professor to win an argument. In this book, America's most successful trial attorney shows that we were all born to make the winning argument--just as we were born to walk. Devising a surefire program that provides the power to deliver winning strategies in the bedroom, in the courtroom, and in the boardroom, Spence presents ultimately winning arguments and a few basic rules of the game. Learn how to disarm an opponent by listening to the other side; discover when to argue...and when not to; determine how to regard words as weapons; and most importantly, learn to discern the Pyrrhic victory--those times when your opponent's loss may also be yours. The ultimate resource for people who seek to convince, to bring about change, to argue, and to win, this program" more than just a book about argument, it's the outline on how to live."--Larry King. "Gerry Spence is one of America's last true originals..."--Dan Rather.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780312144777
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press
  • Publication date: 4/15/1996
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Pages: 307
  • Sales rank: 156,936
  • Product dimensions: 6.08 (w) x 9.14 (h) x 0.84 (d)

Meet the Author

Gerry Spence, writer and attorney, lives in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. he has never lost a criminal trial and his notable cases, including the Karen Silkwood and Randy Weaver trials, number in the hundreds. Spence served as legal correspondent for NBC TV during the O.J. Simpson trial and frequently acts as guest host on "Larry king Love." He also hosts his own weekly talk show on CNBC.

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Table of Contents

My Argument for This Book 1
Getting Started 5
1 Why Argue?: Opening the Doors, Freeing the Psyche 11
2 When to Argue: Winning Without Arguing 22
3 Understanding Power: The Pistol That Fires in Both Directions 32
4 The Incredible Power of Credibility: Standing Naked 47
5 The Power of Listening: Hearing the Person Behind the Noise 67
6 The Power of Prejudice: Examining the Garment, Bleaching the Stain 74
7 The Power of Words: Gilding the Soliloquy 100
8 Structuring the Winning Argument: Building the House the Wolf Can't Blow Down 113
9 Opening Them Up: Bridging the Gap to Be Heard 135
10 How to Deliver the Winning Argument: Releasing the Sound and the Fury 153
11 The Magical Argument: Arguing Out of the Heart Zone 178
12 The Unbeatable Power Argument: Delivering the Knockout 191
13 Arguing in the Love Relationship: Love and War 217
14 Arguing with Kids: Also Love and War 240
15 Arguing at the Workplace: Engaging the Corporate Cyclops, Surviving the Governmental Leviathan 268
16 Arguing for Justice: Understanding the Responsibility of Being 291
Acknowledgments 293
About the Author 295
Index 297
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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 11 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 15, 2007

    Confidence is key.

    The premise is that every person (lawyer)has the winning argument in him or her if they can get past the stage fright and be passionate about the truth. It helps if you also have good facts, but juries don't often decide cases on facts or on the judges instruction of the law - jurors decide on their past life experiences and their own bias or prejudice, i.e. from their gut 'heart zone' sense of justice that their own personal life has instilled. For lawyers, this book is about how to tap into that. For non-lawyers, it's about the strength of truth and the wisdom of compromise. Phil Benton

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 21, 2005


    Awesome techniques and strategies for creating the winning arguement to anyone about anything. Spence teachs the basics of how to find what it is that you are arguing about, and how to define what winning actually is. Brilliant and insightful book that help create lifelong strategies.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 26, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    This Book Works!

    As a corporate director of human resources, I must argue often - both internal and external - and to keep my job, I must win more than I lose. With the help of this book, I have been successful in this endeavor. <BR/><BR/>I bought this book years ago about the time it was first published. After reading it (twice) I made sure I always had a copy at home and at work. It has proven to be a valuable reference as I travel down my career path. In fact, a couple of years ago, I purchased copies for all of my managers. I wanted them to learn the "secrets" that I had collected from the book. <BR/><BR/>The writing is very powerful and very real. Rare is the book of this type that allows us to glimpse the inner workings of the mind of man. Not hypothesis or high-minded theory but rather a visceral look at the raw power of good argument (and even greater power in the art of giving away power - strange as it may seem). I rank this book among my top three "management books" along with Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don't and In Search of Excellence: Lessons from America's Best-run Companies <BR/><BR/>I highly recommend this book to anyone in management. Like me, I believe you will refer to it often. Michael L. Gooch, SPHR

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 24, 2003

    a book that empowers you with a potent arsenal

    i dont believe this book is for all ages. read the review two up from mine and you'll see what i mean. you have to be able to think critically and maturally about life inorder to understand how to use this tool that gerry spence supplies you with. this is really a good book for people to understand how to properly communicate and debate with one another. in addition, it also teaches you how sometimes saying less is actually more helpful. this book will teach you how to delegate with all sorts of personality types. its a very good read if you are someone who has lots of trouble getting your point across. whether it be an issue of confidence or a question of delivery, this book with help. it will also give you the confidence to speak freely about your more touchier beliefs and not get emotional about (such as arguing about the seperation of church and state or gay rights). 'how to argue and win everytime' will teach you something that isnt even mentioned within the book and that is always having an emotional detachment when debating on a particular subject; how not to use your emotions! thats a very important lesson when debating about anything. whether it be in court, at the autoshop, doctors office, police station, anything! it teaches you to think objectively and how to think clearly. it gives you an edge on emotional intelligence in a way. how to read people when communicating with them. how to read body language, how to ask pointed questions and see whether or not they are lying, and how to not ask a question and let silence answer for you. this book is a very neat read. if you were to also read my other two suggestions you'll see how life will totally improve for you!!!!!!!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 8, 1999

    Spence Nails It!

    As a conflict resolution professional, I have been using and teaching various methods of dealing with problem issues. However, I am also a professional advocate. I have incorporated Spence's techniques into my advocacy practice with tremendous results. It turns win/lose confrontations into win/win collaborations.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 8, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Winning Arguements

    Love this book. Invaluable advice from an attorney who's never lost a case. It's informative and heartfelt. Thank you Gerry!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 27, 2004

    This book was a waste of my money

    Out of this book's 292 melodramatic, rambling, non-sensical pop psychology pages, I found only 10 that were worth ripping out and keeping. As for the rest of the book, I couldn't even bring myself to foist it off on Goodwill. I've never done this with a book before, but this book made me feel particularly ripped-off. Most of the book is taken up with self-justifying platitudes, which the author imparts as great wisdom. The 10 pages of advice worth keeping can be found in any number of other advice, or debate strategies, books.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 9, 2000

    Gerry is believable.

    Gerry makes sense. What he says works. His two audiotapes represent the best advice I have ever received regarding argument or even to simply improve one's life. Get the tapes.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 9, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted April 22, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 19, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

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