How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

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Overview

?Most people think of love as a feeling,? says David Richo, ?but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.? Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships that focuses not on finding an ideal mate but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Here, he explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: 

   1.  Attention to the present moment; observing,...

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How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

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Overview

“Most people think of love as a feeling,” says David Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships that focuses not on finding an ideal mate but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Here, he explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: 

   1.  Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships
   2.  Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are
   3.  Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament
   4.  Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways
   5.  Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control

When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A’s—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A’s, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
“An inspiring and highly practical guide to effective relationships.”—Kathlyn Hendricks, coauthor of Conscious Loving and The Conscious Heart
Publishers Weekly
Approaching the study of relationships from a psychotherapist's perspective is How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving. Teacher and writer David Richo gives practical and spiritual exercises for couples and singles who want to have mature and lasting relationships. Emphasizing paying attention and letting go, Richo gently and compassionately coaches readers on what he calls the five A's: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. His book, which proposes "letting go of ego," will help those seeking personal transformation in their relationships. (June) Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781611800463
  • Publisher: Shambhala Publications, Inc.
  • Publication date: 4/9/2013
  • Format: CD
  • Edition description: Unabridged
  • Sales rank: 1,475,485
  • Product dimensions: 5.20 (w) x 5.70 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

David Richo, PhD, is a psychotherapist, teacher, writer, and workshop leader whose work emphasizes the benefits of mindfulness and loving-kindness in personal growth and emotional well-being. He is the author of numerous books, including How to Be an Adult in Relationships and The Five Things We Cannot Change. He lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 61 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(25)

4 Star

(9)

3 Star

(14)

2 Star

(7)

1 Star

(6)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 61 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 26, 2002

    An Inspiration!

    I highly recommend this book. If you are fed up with the unenlightened drone of typical relationship books, then this is the book for you. Topics such as ¿How to keep your Man/Woman¿, ¿The Rules for Dating¿, ¿What women/men are really saying¿ etc will not be found among these easy to read pages. It does not boast a fool proof ¿12 step method¿ to becoming an adult in relationships but instead inspires one to take their own personalized steps. Wrapped in its inspiring words I have discovered what love and relationships truly mean for me, and it has become a great resource for becoming a better partner by becoming a more enlightened and peaceful person. Growth of the individual is at the core of this book and I have taken to heart what the author has made available through his well-articulated ideas. I will continue to try to make this mindful philosophy a practicing part of my life.

    16 out of 17 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 5, 2011

    I Also Recommend:

    great

    An exceptional book- hard to put down. Enjoyed it

    13 out of 13 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 28, 2004

    Written with lots of care!

    This book is obviously written with a lot of care and love. I am still fairly young but have been in various relationships and I have noticed that I repeat similar patterns with my partners and they have ruined my relationships. This book helped me realize that what I thought was love was not really love. It was just personal gratification. Since reading this book I really have a better understanding of what a true loving relationship is. I also like the book 'The ever-transcending spirit' by Toru Sato. It is also an excellent book that helped me understand the true meaning of love, not just romantic love but love in a more general sense. Anyways I really liked these books and I highly recommend them to anyone interested in making their relationships better and becoming a happier person.

    9 out of 11 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 4, 2003

    Very inspiring!

    This is an extremely inspiring book on not just relationships but on becoming mature as a human being. It helped me understand why I am this way and how I can grow out of it. This book has vastly improved my whole life including my relationship with my spouse! I really love this book! The only other book I could recommend if you'd like to grow as a person and improve on your relationships is 'The Ever-Transcending Spirit' by Toru Sato. Sato's book is completely awesome as well! It is not only inspiring, but explains the process of human development and its relation to how we mature in our relationships in a way that is very easy to understand. If you want to grow, these are the books to get. If you are ready for this step in your life, I am almost sure you will benefit immensely from them!

    9 out of 11 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 15, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    I found this book after going through my second divorce. There a

    I found this book after going through my second divorce. There are a lot of issues addressed in this book. While this book addresses all relationships in general; my intent was to use it in order to establish a permanent relationship with a loving partner. While I have finished reading the book, I am still using it with my current partner. The practices provide topics of discussion that allow us to address topics that are important to us, and how to deal with the areas of conflict where our beliefs are not necessarily compatible. The five As are explained in great detail and are applied in ways that make sense. My partner and I continue to use this book in an attempt to lead more mindful lives.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 6, 2011

    This book is superb.

    This is a fine book which adds depth to self knowledge, and hence knowledge of your partner, essential for meaningful and thoughtful relationships. Mindfulness is a way of fully "being" in the world, which facilitates love.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted February 15, 2011

    not what i thought it was

    thought this was bible based and soon found out it was not:( not happy that i paid for it and cant return or remove it

    0 out of 19 people found this review helpful.

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