How to Be Inappropriate

( 2 )

Overview

Dry, offbeat, and mostly profane, this debut collection of humorous nonfiction glorifies all things inappropriate and TMI. A compendia of probing essays, lists, profiles, barstool rants, queries, pedantic footnotes, play scripts, commonplace miscellany, and overly revealing memoir, How to Be Inappropriate adds up to the portrait of an artist who bumbles through life obsessed with one thing: extreme impropriety.

In How to Be Inappropriate, Daniel Nester determines the boundary of...

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How to Be Inappropriate

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Overview

Dry, offbeat, and mostly profane, this debut collection of humorous nonfiction glorifies all things inappropriate and TMI. A compendia of probing essays, lists, profiles, barstool rants, queries, pedantic footnotes, play scripts, commonplace miscellany, and overly revealing memoir, How to Be Inappropriate adds up to the portrait of an artist who bumbles through life obsessed with one thing: extreme impropriety.

In How to Be Inappropriate, Daniel Nester determines the boundary of acceptable behavior by completely disregarding it. As a twenty-something hipster, he looks for love with a Williamsburg abstract painter who has had her feet licked for money. As a teacher, he tries out curse words with Chinese students in ESL classes. Along the way, Nester provides a short cultural history on mooning and attempts to cast a spell on a neighbor who fails to curb his dog. He befriends exiled video game king Todd Rogers, re-imagines a conversation with NPR’s Terry Gross, and invents a robot version of Kiss bassist Gene Simmons.

No matter which misadventure catches their eye in this eclectic series of essays, How to Be Inappropriate makes readers appreciate that someone else has experienced these embarrassing sides of life, so that they won’t have to.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"If there was Nobel Prize for Achievement in Inappropriateness, Daniel Nester would be Laureate of the Universe. Until then, he'll have settle for having written this shockingly innovative stunner of a book. Nester brings his irreverent, elegiac sensibility to subjects from ranging from the essence of literary truth to the enduring mystery of flatulence, managing in the bargain to highlight the bleak hilarity of human existence—which, when you think about it, is the most inappropriate thing of all." —Rachel Shukert, author of Have You No Shame?

"Daniel Nester is funny as hell." —Stephen Elliott

"Daniel Nester is a stone-cold genius. Clever, lyrical, inappropriate in all the right ways—I'd rather read him than just about anyone right now." —Darin Strauss, author of More Than It Hurts You

"Daniel Nester's essays are haunted by a Victorian perversity. His writing exhibits a kind of Tourette syndrome in which the author continuously abases himself and revels in his own shortcomings. It's a painful kind of comedy leavened by gentle good humor and wonder." —Thomas Beller, author of The Sleep-Over Artist and How To Be a Man

"Former McSweeney's editor Nester (English, Coll. of Saint Rose), whose writing has appeared in The Best Creative Nonfiction, The Best American Poetry, and Poets & Writers, presents his debut collection of humorous nonfiction, amassing 41 years' worth of experience in nonconformity. His stories are, as the title suggests, inappropriate, and they often engender squeamishness, discomfort, and laughter. But they are fresh and, at times, touching, qualities that make this an enjoyable read. Subjects include teaching curse words to Chinese ESL students, reimagining a Terry Gross NPR interview of Gene Simmons by substituting Gene Simmons with an AI computer, a collection of references to flatulence in English poesy, the history of mooning, and out-of-context comments he made as a college professor in order to clarify and expand upon his students' writing. Nester includes photographs, illustrations, and a time line of his inappropriate acts from birth to the present. VERDICT Recommended for readers who enjoy memoirs and essays." —Library Journal

Library Journal
Former McSweeney's editor Nester (English, Coll. of Saint Rose), whose writing has appeared in The Best Creative Nonfiction, The Best American Poetry, and Poets & Writers, presents his debut collection of humorous nonfiction, amassing 41 years' worth of experience in nonconformity. His stories are, as the title suggests, inappropriate, and they often engender squeamishness, discomfort, and laughter. But they are fresh and, at times, touching, qualities that make this an enjoyable read. Subjects include teaching curse words to Chinese ESL students, reimagining a Terry Gross NPR interview of Gene Simmons by substituting Gene Simmons with an AI computer, a collection of references to flatulence in English poesy, the history of mooning, and out-of-context comments he made as a college professor in order to clarify and expand upon his students' writing. Nester includes photographs, illustrations, and a time line of his inappropriate acts from birth to the present. VERDICT Recommended for readers who enjoy memoirs and essays.—Mark Alan Williams, Library of Congress, Washington, DC
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781593762537
  • Publisher: Soft Skull Press, Inc.
  • Publication date: 10/1/2009
  • Pages: 272
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.10 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Table of Contents

Notes Toward a Definition of the Inappropriate: An Apologia 1

The Puerto Rican Lockhorns Reunion 4

The Turds of Billyburg 10

Hot Blooded 15

A. I. Wanna Rock 'n' Roll All Night 18

Revising the Footlicker Story 33

Notes Toward a Philosophy of the Inappropriate 43

Mooning: A Short Cultural History 44

My Ass Life in the West 64

The Difference Between Chickens and Goats 70

An Inappropriate Commonplace 81

On Late Style 85

Are You Hot Enough to Play with Journey? Todd Rogers Is 87

Pulling the Muse's Finger: A Fartspotter's Guide to Poetic Passings of Wind 119

Two Imitations of Christ 133

Bob and Tom's Fish and Fry 135

Queries 142

Takin' Care of Jesus 153

The Case for Upsizing 170

An Inappropriate Discourse 186

Goodbye to All Them 189

Garden Path Paragraphs: Variations on Eggs, Faith, Doubt, and Fathering 199

The Talk Box Reveries 221

Yes I Tan: The Indoor Tanning Diaries 233

Timeline of the Author's Inappropriate Acts, Selected, c. 1968-Present 244

Acknowledgments 257

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 23, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Inappropriate is appropriately funny

    I judge books by covers. The moment I saw the cover of How to Be Inappropriate I knew I had to have it. After about twenty minutes I felt guilty and purchased it because I'm not one of those people that thinks a bookstore is a library. It's not. I know because there are less homeless.

    Nester's book is hysterical. Is there more of a reason to read? Fine, unlike other authors that poke fun at others, Nester embraces the fact he is often the butt of the joke. It's easy for people to tell tales that embarrass others but it's a whole other beast to recount stories that tell the whole world how you accidentally moved down the hall from an ex or what exactly happens when a person doth tan too much. Sprinkle in some clever rants, spells cast on neighbors and the King of Video games and you've got yourself an incredibly entertaining read.

    Pick it up. You won't be disappointed.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 6, 2010

    Super funny but poignant, too!

    This is a great book, and not only for the reasons you (if you are drawn to it for the "inappropriate" content) may think. The attention grabbers are the ones about the most taboo subjects (read the table of contents), but How to Be Inappropriate, at it most comic and its most serious, is so much more than that. My favorite of the super funny essays is "Queries," which lists comments he's made on students' writing assignments--"Isn't everything tucked lovingly tucked?," "Is there another, non-legendary Kraken?" The gentleness with which the author treats his students' work heightens the funniness of their contorted language while celebrating the strange products that can result from the awkward effort to put words on paper.

    But (and I hope I don't turn off anyone who wants a funny book, because it IS funny) Daniel Nester's book is also quite moving. Several essays--my favorite is "The Difference Between Chickens and Goats"--explore in between times in the author's life, when he has finished one part of his life and is waiting for another to begin. They convey the poignancy of those moments, the lost feeling, the uneasiness of transition. This is a different kind of inappropriate--the feeling of being out of place, the sense that you are acting in ways that do not fit your context. And it is a different kind of funny, the in-retrospect kind you experience when you look back on a painful time in your life and recognize the humor of the human condition.

    How to Be Inappropriate is a great humor book, but it is also great writing. It is ideal for anyone who appreciates the art of the personal essay.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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