Opened my eyes to what I needed to change,
I was resorting to yelling louder, criticising more frequently, and searching for stricter punishments...trying rather desperately to get my 4 and 7 year old sons to behave better. It simply wasn't working. I asked myself one day...when I was still half sane...Why in the world was I continuing to do what isn't working? And, I was intrigued by this title that implied I had to change first...so I bought the book. With the help of Severe's advice, I finally realized that I was going to have to change my approach in the manner I was chosing to speak to my children, before they were going to change their behavior. This book along with another practical book called 'The Pocket Parent' helped us get more cooperation from our kids as well as change the entire atmosphere of our home...now much less yelling defiance and negative 'attitude'. Both books suggest the exact words to try in challenging situations that a normal preschooler often presents his parents with. I also appreciate that the authors of both books include funny personal annecdotes about their own children to illustrate the stategies. So you never feel you are being talked down to by an expert with an assortment of 'holier than thou' do's and dont's. I find it comforting that these authors (moms and a dad) have been angered, frustrated and embarrassed by their own children, too. Both of these books are set up for busy parents to read just a particular section of the book as they need it. Each chapter stands alone and neither book has to be read cover to cover in any order. I really appreciate that feature. I found the material in Severe's book very reader friendly, with a pleasant tone and easy to understand information. His book is divided into topics in 3 main sections that explain Developmental Factors, Better Behavior Principles and How to Apply the Behavior Principles. 'The Pocket Parent' is set up differently as an A-Z compendium of about 40 behaviors such as Anger, Bad Words, Biting, Bedtime, Mealtime, Morning Crazies, Lying, Sibling Rivalry, Separation Anxiety and Whining. I do like the format of 'The Pocket Parent' better. However, I like the advice in both books equally. The books are very compatible and are chock full of compassion, humor and hundreds of ideas to try with preschoolers. Severe's book says it is for 3-6 year olds and 'The Pocket Parent' is for 2-5 year olds. I think the suggestions in both books work on children 2-10 and even older. I highly recommend both of these guidebooks to keep handy for easy reference and support on one of those really bad days with the kids when you could really use a verbal hug and a couple of practical specific suggestions.
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