How to Care for Aging Parents

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Overview


Featured on Oprah and Good Morning America, winner of the Books for a Better Life Award, and hailed as an "excellent resource" by the Family Caregiver Alliance, How To Care For Aging Parents is completely revised, updated, and expanded, with nearly 300 pages of new material. Compassionate and thorough, it is a caregiver's bible.

When love is not enough—and, regrettably, it never is—this is an essential guide. Now more than ever.

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Overview


Featured on Oprah and Good Morning America, winner of the Books for a Better Life Award, and hailed as an "excellent resource" by the Family Caregiver Alliance, How To Care For Aging Parents is completely revised, updated, and expanded, with nearly 300 pages of new material. Compassionate and thorough, it is a caregiver's bible.

When love is not enough—and, regrettably, it never is—this is an essential guide. Now more than ever.

Editorial Reviews

The Washington Post
"A compassionate guide of encyclopedic proportion."
The Washington Post

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780761134268
  • Publisher: Workman Publishing Company, Inc.
  • Publication date: 10/28/2004
  • Edition description: REV
  • Edition number: 2
  • Pages: 656
  • Sales rank: 89,508
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 1.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Virginia Morris is an award-winning author and journalist, and a nationally recognized authority on eldercare. Her previous book is Talking About Death, published in paperback by Algonquin. Ms. Morris lives with her family in Sag Harbor, New York.

Table of Contents

Foreword xvii
Introduction xix
Chapter 1 Get Ready, Get Set 1
Talking with Your Parent
Gathering Essential Documents
Researching the Options
Organizing Your Own Life
When You Can't Be There
Chapter 2 Your Parent and You 22
Adapting to New Roles
Knowing When to Intervene
Defusing Old Struggles
Managing Day-to-Day
The Difficult Parent
Chapter 3 Caring for the Caregiver 43
Setting Limits
The Male Caregiver
Emotional Minefields: Guilt, Anger, Grief, and Depression
Support Groups
When One Parent Is Well
I2 Steps to a Healthy Mind-Set
Chapter 4 Healthy Aging 65
Pumping Iron: Finding the Right Exercise Program
The ABCs of Diet
The Liquor Cabinet
Up in Smoke
Chapter 5 Heart, Mind, and Soul 83
Staying Involved
Family and Friends
Spirituality
Creativity
Volunteering
Expanding the Mind
Dating, Sex, and Marriage
Chapter 6 Tips for Daily Living 102
Safety First
Preventing Falls
Bathing and Dressing
Eating Right
The Question of Driving
Useful Gadgets and Gizmos
Chapter 7 Getting Help 134
Assessing the Need
Help from Family and Friends
Community Services: What's Available and How to Find It
Geriatric Care Managers
Chapter 8 More Help, at Home 152
Home Health Care
Nurses, Therapists, and Aides
The Hiring Process
Managing the Troops
Respite Care
Chapter 9 The Inner Circle 169
Sharing the Care with Siblings
A Family Meeting
Spouses
The Sandwich Generation: Aging Parents and Young Children
Balancing Career and Caregiving
Chapter 10 Doctor Do's and Don'ts 193
Rx for the Elderly
A Good Doctor
A Geriatric Checkup
Being an Informed Advocate
Complementary and Alternative Medicine
Chapter 11 The Body Imperfect: Part I 214
On the Lookout for Symptoms
Overseeing Medications
Vision and Hearing
Insomnia
Dehydration
TLC for Skin, Legs, and Feet
Dental Care
Chapter 12 The Body Imperfect: Part II 254
Osteoporosis and Arthritis
Incontinence
Constipation
Other Digestive Disorders
Chapter 13 Matters of the Mind 280
Depression: Diagnosis and Treatments
Anxiety Disorders
Delirium
Chapter 14 On the Fifth Floor 294
Entering the Hospital
Tests, Surgery, and Treatments
Dealing with Staff
Your Role as Advocate
Comfort on the Fifth Floor
When You Are Far Away
Preparing for Discharge
Bills
Chapter 15 Paying the Way 322
Talking about Money
Financial Planning and Budgets
Benefits and Discounts
Homes as Collateral
Tax Tips
Using Your Own Funds
Financial and Legal Counsel
Frauds and Scams
Chapter 16 Paying for Health Care 346
What Medicare Really Covers
Prescription Drugs
Medigap Plans
Medicaid
Long-Term Care Insurance
Chapter 17 Legal Issues 376
Wills
Power of Attorney
Advance Directives
Trusts
Reducing Estate Taxes
Probate
Guardianship
Legal Help
Chapter 18 Home Away from Home 402
Is It Time to Move?
Sharing Your Home with Your Parent
Senior Apartments
Group Homes
Assisted Living
Continuing Care Retirement Communities
Chapter 19 A Good Nursing Home 426
Making the Decision
Who Pays?
The Search
What to Look for in a Nursing Home
Getting In
Chapter 20 Making the Move Work 442
Moving Day
A Plan of Care
Your Role as Visitor and Advocate
Long-Distance Caregiving
When Trouble Brews
Getting Adjusted
Chapter 21 The Aging Brain 460
What Is Normal?
Dementia
Getting Tested
Alzheimer's Disease
Dealing with the Diagnosis
Treating Dementia
Chapter 22 Living with Dementia 480
Helping Yourself: A Clear Perspective and a Little Humor
Helping Your Parent: Simplicity, Routines, and Diversions
Chapter 23 Managing Day to Day 499
Bathing, Dressing, Eating, and Communicating
Behavior Problems
Coping with Special Issues
Chapter 24 The Last Good-Bye 521
Talking about Death
Caring for Your Parent Now
Choosing Hospice Care
Treatment Decisions
The Face of Death
Chapter 25 The Aftermath 554
Finding a Funeral Director
The Obituary
Services
Cemeteries
Dividing the Estate
Chapter 26 Good Grief 567
Stages of Grief
Growing from Grief
Reviewing You Relationship with Your Parent
The Surviving Parent
Children and Grief
Chapter 27 You're Next 579
Can You Afford to Grow Old?
Taking Care of Your Body
Keeping Your Mind Sharp
Living Fully
The Yellow Pages of Help 599
Appendix A Useful Organizations 600
Appendix B State Units on Aging and Long-Term Care Ombudsmen 628
Appendix C State Health Insurance Counseling and Assistance Programs (SHIPs) 635
Appendix D State Medicaid Offices 639
Appendix E A Hospital Patient's Bill of Rights 643
Appendix F Touring a Residence for the Elderly 646
Appendix G A Nursing-Home Resident's Bill of Rights 652
Appendix H State Citizen Advocacy Groups for Nursing-Home Reform 654
Appendix I Dietary Details for the Elderly 658
Appendix J Funeral Choices and Costs 666
Index 671
Customer Reviews
Average Rating 5
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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 11, 2009

    All adults with living parents should read this.

    Everything you ever wanted to know about parent-care and were afraid
    to ask.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 11, 2008

    Great Resource for a Largely Unmet Need

    A truly multi-faced resource, with great insights for reconciling the viewpoints and needs of the older relative, the caregiver and siblings and their spouses. The options for care are well explained and then specific listings and suggestions are given. This is a reference which will be valuable as health needs change. Recommended for anyone with older relatives.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 25, 2007

    This is a must have for everybody

    This is the most wonderful book that I have ever picked up. A must have for anybody with an older parent.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 11, 2006

    Excellent book!

    I found this book to be so helpful. It covers every topic imaginable and in a practical yet sensitive manner. I think there were only 1-2 chapters I did not read because they didn't pertain to my situation. I bent page corners and highlighted passages throughout--there were so many things I wanted to remember and share with family members. Among other things, this book left me with a much deeper understanding of my father's dementia and how to cope, an appreciation of the dynamics that occur between siblings, and a hightened awareness of how important it is to also take care of the primary caregiver. The resources listed in the back of the book and throughout are invaluable.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 30, 2005

    This is a must have

    This book covers every topic you can imagine. Want to know what to do when your parent is driving, but should not be driving any more? This topic is covered, plus many many more.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted August 29, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Excellent ElderCare Resource

    This is one of the first books I bought when I began my caregiving journey with my elderly parents and it helped a lot. It is one of the eldercare staples all adult children should have in their library! -Jacqueline Marcell, Author 'Elder Rage', International Speaker on Eldercare & Alzheimer's, Host 'Coping With Caregiving' Internet Radio Show at wsRadio

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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